Would you assume we are uninvited?

[clouds87]

DP and I recieved a 'save the evening' card ages ago (possible as far back as last year) its 1.5 - 2 hr drive so DP booked a hotel for the night.
The groom isnt a close friend of his - he was someone DP saw every so often through a interest/work, I know him to say hi and we've both met the bride once (at another wedding).

Just realised the invite doesnt have a time on it! DP has sent a message politely asking if there is a gift list but had no reply, they havent had contact for a long time (groom left the interest they knew each other through)

Obviously we cant turn up with no time, but what would you do? Try calling them next week if we havent heard? Then if no answer dont go? We dont know anyone else going and as we dont use facebook etc not sure what else to do.

I wonder if as DP and groom havent been in touch for a long time thats why they havent let us know so we might be uninvited, which I completly understand - but would like to cancel the hotel and get the money back if so ...

Thanks!

A save the date isn't a proper invite so I'd assume you're not invited

When is it? Sorry if I’ve missed that.

Just cancel the hotel

Thanks for the quick reply... feeling annoyed we booked the hotel to quickly. It just seemed to make sense. I guess if we got married, we wouldnt send out save the dates/evenings then not actually invite those people 😬it doesnt sit right to do that with people. fingers crossed we can get a refund for the hotel..

Sorry - the wedding is Nov 30th so only a month away

You haven't been invited so not sure what the problem is.

You said you've not had contact in a long time though so it's understandable they've not invited you to the evening do now. It's a shame but I don't think they've don't anything wrong

You sent a message and got no reply. I’d assume you’re not invited.

As your DP has messaged them and got no reply I would cancel the room. If at a later date they do reply apologise and say you can no longer make it, but wish them well.

You got a save the date but no invite after that?
Yes, I think you haven't been invited.

Is the wedding definitely still going ahead? We once received a "save the date" from a not-super-close friend, a year or so in advance of the wedding. 3 months before the wedding date, no invitation had materialised and we found out through a mutual acquaintance that the couple had broken up!

They would have sent the invites out by now and if you were invited they'd have replied to the message. As you know no-one going and you're not likely to bump into the bride or groom anytime soon I'd cancel the hotel if I were you 🤷‍♀️

This is a good point! As I can't believe anyone wouldn't extend an invite to someone who they'd sent a save the date to, that would be staggeringly rude even if you've not been in contact recently.

If you've had no invitation a month out and no response, then I agree they have uninvited you. Hope you can get a refund.

Maybe the wedding has been called off? Odd to send a save the date, then no invite.

Who sends a ‘Save the date’ to someone that they then dont invite?

I have to say it wouldn’t have crossed my mind that I might not be invited if I had received a ‘Save the Date’ card….

Definitely not invited. It's pretty rude and inconsistent seeing as you've booked a hotel. Not great on their part.

Has he asked wtf he's saving the date for? As 30 November is so soon I would assume you aren't invited

I didnt want to say this but it had crossed my mind. As realistically there's a chance we might not know if this had happened

I wont lie I'm a bit upset for DP, family bereavements this year, he's been in therapy with mental health. He's continued working hard and I know he was looking forward to it, he's managed to be in a better place to start socialising again

I guess the alternative is to keep the hotel and still have a mini break depending on the t&c's Dp booked it under

We had a save the date for my cousin's wedding but no invitation was forthcoming. We assumed it was my interfering aunt sending without consulting... I wasn't expecting to attend, we were never close. It caused some amusement when nothing materialised though.

I had a save the date omce, then a can you reply to the invite please - contacted the bride to say we haven't received an actual invite and it was so fecking awkward cos in between the save tje date and the reminder, they had decided not to invite us after all. So weird they prompted is for an rsvp! Cancel the room op.

sorry it took so long to write my last post - broken fingers on one hand make it slow!!

Don't invites arrive a minimum of 2-3 months before the wedding date? I'd assume at this point that they sent Save the Dates out to their whole address book and you didn't make the cut. Perhaps they opted for a smaller wedding or, like you say, broke up in the interim.

Oh god how awkward! But it looks like some others feel how I do - rude to ask us to save the date then not invited!

I think if you haven't received a formal invite, then you're not invited. A save the date on it's own is not the whole invite.

It is weird though - I certainly didn't send a save the date to anyone who we didn't actually invite!