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Original poster

5 days before the wedding

139 replies

Bellie99 · 09/08/2022 21:33

And 2 emails have been received by all guests from the bride,
One last night saying all women must wear a dress to the wedding and all men must wear day suits. (I have sorted my outfit months ago - trousers, cami and jacket, and DP has chinos and jacket )
Email two this afternoon, was asking all guests to change to smart casual for the evening reception.

I'm not brave enough for AIBU, but surely this is bonkers 5 days prior to the wedding, when invites were sent in January. If really wanted to have a dress code shouldn't it have been included with invite?

OP posts:
LinaDeVille · 10/08/2022 20:22

So the bridr has done a great job in making her guests feel awkward before they've even arrived

I'd just wear what you we're planning to wear

She cant dictate how people dress

Abraxan · 11/08/2022 13:43

bjrce · 10/08/2022 11:55

OP.

I think it was extremely rude of the Bride to send that email at this late stage!

I wonder is she stressing out about the really hot weather and worried people are going to turn up in sun dresses and shorts (Men). Hence her day will become a very casual affair.

That email is from a person who has giving this a lot of headspace to the point of thinking it acceptable to send that mail to guests.

The only effect it has had is encouraging people to think she is bat shit crazy (and probably feeling sorry for the husband to be! definite red flag for him LOL! the poor bastard!).

What's wrong with a sun dress?

And what's wrong with smart tailored shorts?

Most people know how to dress for a wedding, and it really doesn't need to be really formal these days surely.

toomuchlaundry · 11/08/2022 14:13

I bet if it is as hot at the wedding as it is now where I am the bride will be wishing she could wear a sundress or shorts!

Geranium1984 · 11/08/2022 14:31

I'd just ignore and go along as you were. I wouldn't bring it up with the groom or family. This should have been on the invite if she wanted a dress code.
I promise she won't notice what anyone else is wearing as long as you're not in jeans or anything too casual.

gelatogina · 11/08/2022 15:21

The requesting dresses isn’t as bad as asking everyone to change for the evening reception, she sounds hard work

PritiPatelsMaker · 11/08/2022 21:54

So glad you've decided to go.

DancingUnderTheLights · 12/08/2022 16:07

Wow, what an idiot! How can she not step back and think how she'd feel getting such emails. I mean not every woman feels comfortable wearing a dress. If she was worried about guests wearing causal clothes - which I don't think is rational as people know how to dress for weddings on the whole - then she could have sent out an email saying we know it's hot but we'd still really appreciate guests wearing formal clothes and they can change, if they wish, later in the evening.

I agree with you OP just wear what you were going to. Even sending out such strict instructions with the invitations isn't good, but 5 days before is just silly. I mean, you've discussed cancelling. What if other guests don't bother showing as they've been made to feel awkward and don't have anything they can wear.

DancingUnderTheLights · 12/08/2022 16:08

I've not been married before but I image with everything going on unless someone is really inappropriately dressed you won't notice them.

DancingUnderTheLights · 12/08/2022 16:09

imagine*

Original poster
Bellie99 · 13/08/2022 07:54

Well I'm wearing my trousers. I've got my big girl pants on and we're off! Let the fun commence!

OP posts:
toomuchlaundry · 13/08/2022 07:57

Enjoy! Hope you don’t get turned away!

Blondeshavemorefun · 13/08/2022 08:12

I don’t see the issue with a lady wearing a sundress or men shorts or chinos if hot

jeans are a no for a wedding

have a lovely time @Bellie99 and look forward to update later

RampantIvy · 13/08/2022 08:12

Enjoy the wedding, and do please update us.

Stravaig · 13/08/2022 08:20

Hope you have a lovely day!

Maireas · 13/08/2022 08:35

I would think people's priority would be staying cool! She'll be lucky if folks don't turn up in beachwear.

RuthW · 13/08/2022 08:40

Your outfit sounds great. I think other half should wear a suit. As for changing- ridiculous. Ignore.

Kite22 · 13/08/2022 15:03

Looking forward to the update - especially the bouncers not letting people in, who are inappropriately dressed, and where all these people are keeping their 2nd set of clothes and then changing in to them.

toomuchlaundry · 13/08/2022 15:37

Wonder how they will keep tabs on who has changed outfit or not

PritiPatelsMaker · 13/08/2022 15:44

Well I'm wearing my trousers. I've got my big girl pants on and we're off! Let the fun commence

Hope you're having a lovely day.

ithoughtisawapuddycat · 13/08/2022 15:50

We'll done OP, let us know how you get on. Would love to know how many others don't stick to the dress code.

Ilikewinter · 13/08/2022 16:00

Hope you're having a fab day and were 'allowed' into the wedding!

Campervangirl · 13/08/2022 16:13

Here for the update 😂

tobee · 13/08/2022 16:17

Wouldn't be surprised if the bride doesn't actually notice at all in the end. Hopefully the entails were an aberration.

tobee · 13/08/2022 16:18

Emails not entails! Confused

Hepzibar · 13/08/2022 16:32

I'm at a wedding now and there is a guy here in shorts. Think it might be the brides BIL. Maybe OP's bride got wind of this