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Original poster

5 days before the wedding

139 replies

Bellie99 · 09/08/2022 21:33

And 2 emails have been received by all guests from the bride,
One last night saying all women must wear a dress to the wedding and all men must wear day suits. (I have sorted my outfit months ago - trousers, cami and jacket, and DP has chinos and jacket )
Email two this afternoon, was asking all guests to change to smart casual for the evening reception.

I'm not brave enough for AIBU, but surely this is bonkers 5 days prior to the wedding, when invites were sent in January. If really wanted to have a dress code shouldn't it have been included with invite?

OP posts:
toomuchlaundry · 09/08/2022 21:34

Are they going to turn you away if not dressed correctly?

KJPrice · 09/08/2022 21:35

yeah…. I’d rather stay at home. F that.

Halstead · 09/08/2022 21:35

Yes it's bonkers and I'd be calling her bluff saying that you'll unfortunately be unable to attend due to your outfits not abiding by the newly announced dress code.

Bonkers.

Hepzibar · 09/08/2022 21:35

She has clearly lost the plot.

People put a lot of thought into their wedding outfits, to be told this at the 11th hour is frankly batshit.

Wonder how she'd like it?

RyanYESorNO · 09/08/2022 21:35

What email? You didn't get it. Must have gone to your junk folder.

NippyWoowoo · 09/08/2022 21:36

RyanYESorNO · 09/08/2022 21:35

What email? You didn't get it. Must have gone to your junk folder.

😂

This

Shoemadlady · 09/08/2022 21:37

Email back and say you've already bought your outfit. The bride is being ridiculous! Who does she think she is?! Ideas of grandeur!

Original poster
Bellie99 · 09/08/2022 21:38

Thank you.
Thought she has lost the plot, but it's been a few years since I've been invited into a wedding, so wondered if some new 'norm' had emerged that I wasn't aware of Grin

OP posts:
OnlyFoolsnMothers · 09/08/2022 21:39

What’s your connection to the bride- that would help me decide whether to:

give her a heads up that I’m not wearing a dress
turn up and say I didn’t see the email
sack off the wedding and brideZilla

HSKAT · 09/08/2022 21:40

Wtf 😂
Most ridiculous thing I've heard.

Original poster
Bellie99 · 09/08/2022 21:41

KJPrice · 09/08/2022 21:35

yeah…. I’d rather stay at home. F that.

That was actually my first reaction as it could be awkward if turn up in wrong things! (According to her that is)
Hotel all booked and paid for, although in a lovely city not been to for many years, so if she gets the bouncers out to police clothes choice, may well flounce and have a nice day in the city especially as it's going to be a gorgeous day weather wise!

OP posts:
Original poster
Bellie99 · 09/08/2022 21:43

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 09/08/2022 21:39

What’s your connection to the bride- that would help me decide whether to:

give her a heads up that I’m not wearing a dress
turn up and say I didn’t see the email
sack off the wedding and brideZilla

Never met her. Relative of the groom. Was surprised to get invite for all day, so thought would make the most of catching up with the family not seen for last few years - some of whom are quite elderly now and may not all be together again.

OP posts:
tickticksnooze · 09/08/2022 21:45

Ahahaha nope. Mandated costume changes for guests 😂

Spaghag · 09/08/2022 21:47

So much for a wedding being about exchanging vows in the company of your nearest & dearest and celebrating together.

Is there a preferred style of dress?

KJPrice · 09/08/2022 21:51

Bellie99 · 09/08/2022 21:41

That was actually my first reaction as it could be awkward if turn up in wrong things! (According to her that is)
Hotel all booked and paid for, although in a lovely city not been to for many years, so if she gets the bouncers out to police clothes choice, may well flounce and have a nice day in the city especially as it's going to be a gorgeous day weather wise!

Show quote history

Ahhhh damn! Well, stuff spending extra money on another outfit when you also had to pay for a hotel etc. it’s very selfish of the bride to even ask that, and not every female feels comfortable wearing a dress. Either way, enjoy yourself and if you get kicked out.. just see it as a mini break away ;)

Slightlystressedbride · 09/08/2022 21:51

Hahahahahaha

What are other guests doing? Presumably everyone is now comparing notes on the madness.

Absolutely batshit

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 09/08/2022 21:57

Bellie99 · 09/08/2022 21:43

Never met her. Relative of the groom. Was surprised to get invite for all day, so thought would make the most of catching up with the family not seen for last few years - some of whom are quite elderly now and may not all be together again.

Show quote history

Then I’d turn up in the outfit I have- who cares if she’s unhappy with it

FlatBottomedGirl · 09/08/2022 21:58

Utter madness. I'd be straight up and reply saying you'd not be able to sort these outfits out given the short notice and if she'd rather you didn't attend you wished them both a happy day.

Justmuddlingalong · 09/08/2022 22:02

If you're a relative of the groom, I'd contact him with a faux panic message explaining that you don't think you're going to manage to attend now, due to the last minute dress code update. If the dress code stands, I'd bin the wedding and enjoy the weekend away, wearing exactly what you want.

Penguinsaregreat · 09/08/2022 22:02

I agree with Flatbottomgirl absolutely ridiculous.

Okeydoky · 09/08/2022 22:05

I wonder if the groom knows she's making batshit demands? He should run for the hills.

Original poster
Bellie99 · 09/08/2022 22:06

The few I have managed to get hold of did the ' that's batshit but I had a dress planned anyway' type reply.
May well send the panic message to the groom (or his mum? As I am closer to her)

OP posts:
AxolotlEars · 09/08/2022 22:12

Ignore....maybe it's anxiety......just go along in whatever you want...even white/cream as long as it's not a wedding dress 😂

Slightlystressedbride · 09/08/2022 22:43

Well think carefully before you acknowledge receipt.

What will you do if relative says "oh yes, such a lovely idea to have everyone in dresses isn't it?" Obviously only you can judge whether they will give you "permission" to ignore it. But it's potentially risky.

Personally I'd be very much in a space of deny deny deny and go as planned.
"Email? What email? Oh gosh, I haven't used that address in years, I'd be surprised if it's still working! How funny to send something like that, only this week you say? Well I'm almost glad I didn't see it, that would have sent me into quite the panic! More champagne?"

Letsgosew · 09/08/2022 22:53

Ridiculous. Whilst there are certain conventions I would follow automatically (I'm old fashioned), I wouldn't assume a dress. I don't wear dresses due to a leg injury several years ago. And although I could wear one if I absolutely have to, I wouldn't due to the style of shoes I have to wear - flat, soft and frankly, hideous styles - to accommodate my 5E width feet. In fact, one of my dcs is marrying this year and I will be wearing trousers.
If a bride told me I had to wear a dress, especially at such short notice, I would decline the invitation.