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Original poster

Wedding ruined please help

142 replies

Londonlamb · 21/05/2022 15:04

I’m writing this in the hotel room after marrying the love of my life because my dad ruined it
I don’t have much family so from my side the invites were him and 2 cousins I asked him to walk me down the aisle and it was all well planned out
he turned up before the service but brought his new girlfriend and 3 children I’d never met any of them before and the times he has spoken about them was negative
I felt really uncomfortable during the vows knowing strangers were at my wedding and the eldest child who’s a teenager was making lots of noise
we spent 2 years saving and preparing for this day and every tiny detail was organised so it’s been turned upside down by strangers in crap outfits coming along
We have an hour before the party and meal starts and the seating has been organised for the invited guests only so there’s no food or place for them
i want to tell my dad to leave and take them with him but I’m scared to push him away
my make up is ruined and the lady who done it left ages ago no one had checked on how I am my husband is talking to my cousins who are angry too what to do to salvage the day? I can’t believe I have let this over shadow my day but I’m angry and upset they are here
I have no friends so there’s no one here to support me I’m still trying to work out how to pee by myself with this dress on I just wish I could start the day again properly but it’s nearly over and I didn’t enjoy it we haven’t even got a honeymoon because we can’t afford it
is there anyone who can give me a bit of support and advice please

OP posts:
gracewitt · 21/05/2022 15:38

Congratulations OP on marrying the love of your life. Whatever else, try and hold on to this, the start of your married life together.

Really hope that by now the uninvited guests have left and you can relax and enjoy the rest of your day. You deserve it.

If it helps, think of tomorrow as the first FULL day of being husband and wife and one in which there will be no gate-crashers.

LIZS · 21/05/2022 15:38

Did you make it clear to him that they were not invited? I doubt the teen wants to be there any more than you want them there but wedding ceremonies are usually public events so difficult to exclude anyone. Is their relationship longstanding?

Isaidnoalready · 21/05/2022 15:43

Who wears a tracksuit to a wedding? It's hardly a dress code to dress appropriately

Liverpoolhev · 21/05/2022 15:43

Sorry you have to deal with this on your wedding day very unfair of your dad. They may have only come for the ceremony and not expecting to stay for the meal (I would hope not anyway as that would be beyond cheeky!) it sounds like your husband is sorting things for you. Hope you can have a glass of fizz, relax and enjoy the rest of your day xxx

Holidayroundthecorner · 21/05/2022 15:43

The last wedding I went to the groom's df turned up uninvited (church wedding) in jeans and a leather jacket.. The best man was unable to attend very last minute. The df stepped in. Didn't even take his jacket off!
Hopefully one day you can look back with good memories op. You did still marry the man you love.

Ihatethenewlook · 21/05/2022 15:44

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Abra1d1 · 21/05/2022 15:46

Enjoy the rest of the day with your bridegroom and invited guests. 🍾🥂Hope the crashers have gone.

ParkheadParadise · 21/05/2022 15:46

Sounds awful 😒
Post a pic of your dress👰 👰 👰

HotWashCycle · 21/05/2022 15:49

Oh you poor love. I really feel for you, having been married recently myself with just a quiet, friends only wedding (as have no family). Cannot imagine what it must have been like to be gatecrashed by strangers. First, get your DH to help with the dress. Then get the staff at your venue to sort this out for you, so you don't have to be involved with sending the uninvited ones on their way. Then relax and have a bubbly drink, and a lovely meal and enjoy the rest of your day, focusing on the two of you. Congratulations on your marriage.

Flowers Flowers Flowers

greatblueheron · 21/05/2022 15:51

Ignore MissNothing1991; clueless.

Sounds like you married someone who has your back. I'm glad he asked them to leave. Completely ridiculous to think it was ok to crash someone's wedding in tracksuits and then act poorly throughout the ceremony. It is trashy.

Hope you enjoy the rest of your day.

Kerky · 21/05/2022 15:52

I agree with PP, your day is very much salvageable. Get someone else to evict them and put the mess behind you to deal with another day.
Your dad will still be a selfish idiot next week when you can tear him a new one. Today is for happiness.

Congratulations!, have a drink and a dance for me 💃🏼

ThinkingaboutLangClegosaurus · 21/05/2022 15:53

Just ignore the gate-crashers. You don't have to see them again. Concentrate on enjoying the rest of the day with your husband and the people you like. Congratulations on marrying the love of your life!

Rogue1001MNer · 21/05/2022 15:57

@MissNothing1991 vile horrible post, and glad I'm not the only person to say that to you. You really want to trash a woman on her wedding day? Shame on you

@Londonlamb so sorry this is happening to you today. I hope you look gorgeous and manage to salvage the rest of your day. Go new DH for stepping up! Sounds like you've got one who's got your back. Great start to married life
And congratulations x

Flippermeflopits · 21/05/2022 16:05

Congratulations OP, try & focus on all the people who were invited & made an effort for your special day. In a few years you'll be able to look back on this and laugh in a WTF way. When I got married my uncle & aunt turned up in scruffy jeans & bought a cooler full of cheap larger to share amongst themselves🙃. Get someone to help you pee, touch up your make up & have a few drinks. Fuck em! 🥂

rahjama · 21/05/2022 16:08

Considering this was posted an hour ago I hope you're enjoying yourself now with your new husband, congratulations xxx

Irishfarmer · 21/05/2022 16:09

The day is not ruined. Either ask them to leave or pretend they are not there and enjoy your time with your new husband and your other guest. Dry your little lamb face, go have a glass of champagne and enjoy your wedding day.

Congratulations!

JanglyBeads · 21/05/2022 16:13

Congratulations OP.

balalake · 21/05/2022 16:21

Congratulations OP and I am glad your dad has left.

StaunchMomma · 21/05/2022 16:22

Really glad to DH stood up for you and sent them packing.

Hope you are now managing to enjoy the rest of your day.

Oh, and use the toilet backwards - lift your dress up and sit on the loo facing the cistern.

Bless you, OP. I do hope you're having a fab time now.x.

Juniper68 · 21/05/2022 16:22

I hope you can enjoy the rest of your day. How horrible of your dad to do this.

WhereHaveAllTheTwigletsGone · 21/05/2022 16:26

im not surprised you were upset. I’m glad people who care for you have stepped in and told the wedding crashers to leave. Touch your make up up a bit and head back out and see if you can enjoy things now that they’ve gone. Try to focus on the fact that you have some really great people in your life who stepped in to help you today. They had your back and now you get to celebrate with them. We’re all hoping your off enjoying yourself now 🤞🏻🤞🏻

Maurepas · 21/05/2022 16:27

Congratulations! You have to see the funny side of this ( and even maybe to survive the day if people are unkind). Be happy and jolly and find your sense of humour. Just laugh it off if there are any catty remarks with jokes like ''.. yes , who WERE those people?!'' or ''were they meant to be at the bowling ally!?'' or something similar. Do not try to explain them and do not complain today. They say pretending to be happy is a big step in the right direction and gets one part way there. Good luck!

Theblacksheepandme · 21/05/2022 16:27

You do have a friend at your wedding, you just married him. He is very supportive as he has dealt with it. Ask him to help you with your dress when you go to the toilet and you can just do a quick touch up of your makeup. Cotton buds and lippie can do wonders. Concentrate on the rest of the day and remember that you just married the love of your life. Covid put a lot of strain on couples and you got through it and now you can start planning a lovely future together. Don't think about what you don't have or can't have but what you do have. Congratulations on your marriage and I wish you a long and healthy future together.

meadowbleu · 21/05/2022 16:31

Congratulations @Londonlamb I hope you and your invited guests are having a lovely reception.

You're not responsible for your father's poor behaviour, let alone that of his hangers on, so don't be worrying about how it reflects on you. Marriage is like the whole of rest of life, it has its challenges and you've overcome the first one together.

Focus on all the brilliant parts of your day and put all this right to the back of your mind, where it belongs. Don't let it spoil your memories of your wedding day whatever you do🌹

quietnightmare · 21/05/2022 16:38

Get your self a glass of champagne, get in that fancy floor and dance the night away with your husband. Make a big fuss about cutting the cake and remember there's always tonight with the husband that will be the best part of you get what I'm saying

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