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Original poster

Wedding ruined please help

142 replies

Londonlamb · 21/05/2022 15:04

I’m writing this in the hotel room after marrying the love of my life because my dad ruined it
I don’t have much family so from my side the invites were him and 2 cousins I asked him to walk me down the aisle and it was all well planned out
he turned up before the service but brought his new girlfriend and 3 children I’d never met any of them before and the times he has spoken about them was negative
I felt really uncomfortable during the vows knowing strangers were at my wedding and the eldest child who’s a teenager was making lots of noise
we spent 2 years saving and preparing for this day and every tiny detail was organised so it’s been turned upside down by strangers in crap outfits coming along
We have an hour before the party and meal starts and the seating has been organised for the invited guests only so there’s no food or place for them
i want to tell my dad to leave and take them with him but I’m scared to push him away
my make up is ruined and the lady who done it left ages ago no one had checked on how I am my husband is talking to my cousins who are angry too what to do to salvage the day? I can’t believe I have let this over shadow my day but I’m angry and upset they are here
I have no friends so there’s no one here to support me I’m still trying to work out how to pee by myself with this dress on I just wish I could start the day again properly but it’s nearly over and I didn’t enjoy it we haven’t even got a honeymoon because we can’t afford it
is there anyone who can give me a bit of support and advice please

OP posts:
aaronsnorkelling · 21/05/2022 15:06

Oh gosh. I am sure it is not that bad. There must be someone there who can help you with your dress, your husband?
Focus on him
And the amazing life you are going to have together
The vows you have just made are the important bit , it's just the start you're going to make a million memories together.

husbandcallsmepickle · 21/05/2022 15:06

No advice but wanted to offer a virtual hug x

Ihatethenewlook · 21/05/2022 15:07

I actually can’t believe what I’m reading op! Someone needs to tell him to leave. Won’t your oh and/or cousins tell him??

Ihatethenewlook · 21/05/2022 15:08

Your oh needs to help you with your dress etc. Everyone else needs to tell him to go

sleepymum50 · 21/05/2022 15:17

Poor, poor you. How shit of your dad to do this to you and your husband.

my suggestion? Tell your husband what you would like, then on this occasion, leave him to sort it out with your cousins and his groomsmen.

Take a good look in the mirror, and tell yourself that you are fucking fabulous, fix your make up, and waltz back into your wedding and bloody own it.

Plaster on a smile, chug a couple of glasses of champagne. Let others deal with the meals and food. It will get sorted, just be above all that.

Pull this back to be a lovely day, it’s about just you and your partner. In years to come you’ll be so proud of yourself that you didn’t let it ruin the day.

pinthehammer · 21/05/2022 15:18

Tell the staff that the woman and children are uninvited. Ask one of them to tell them that as they were not invited there's no food or place setting for them.

Outrageous of your dad to bring 4 others that you've never met.

Original poster
Londonlamb · 21/05/2022 15:21

Thank you everyone my husband has asked my dad to send the girlfriend and kids away or he can leave too I don’t know what the outcome is yet I’m too embarrassed to leave the room they were behaving like chavs and I don’t know what my in laws now think I’m so disappointed he done this to me on my big day you are right I need to focus on my husband now and fixing my make up somehow

OP posts:
MissNothing1991 · 21/05/2022 15:22

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HSKAT · 21/05/2022 15:23

Firstly congratulations.
I would ask your cousins who are angry too to sort it out and ask him to leave.
Ignore them.
This is your day, brush yourself, get downstairs and get pissed.
Do not let this ruin the rest of your day.
Go to the bar get a bit glass of wine or whatever and enjoy yourself.

girlmom21 · 21/05/2022 15:24

Do you have a friend or MIL there who can help you touch your makeup up?

Your husband has dealt with your dad now. Get your head up and enjoy your day.

helpfulperson · 21/05/2022 15:24

I imagine your inlaws are sympathetic that you're having this happing. Could you ask your MIL to help you with make up repair and peeing. Assuming she is a normal nice person she'll probably be delighted you asked.

SunshineCake · 21/05/2022 15:25

Ignore @MissNothing1991 she's talking a load of nonsense.

Londonlamb · 21/05/2022 15:25

This reply has been deleted

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HSKAT · 21/05/2022 15:26

@MissNothing1991 has nothing but shit to say.

Midlifemusings · 21/05/2022 15:26

How long has your dad been with his girlfriend?

Did you give your dad +1?

At this point, just enjoy the reason for being there rather than worrying that someone isn't dressed posh enough or isn't classy enough to be in your presence.

RoyKentsChestHair · 21/05/2022 15:26

Your dad is a twat. Sorry he’s put a dampener on your big day, but it’s not ruined - you married your husband, and have a lifetime of fun and probably some trials to get thought together - this is just a blip. Enjoy the rest of your day. Hope the wedding crushers have been evicted and that your idiot dad has gone with them. If he’s still there, try not to have it out with him today, as emotions will be heightened, just focus on the two of your and your relationship today. Congratulations 🍾🎉💞

anotherNCsorryfolks · 21/05/2022 15:26

Go back down and tell your dad to leave and take them with him. Get your husband to support you.

RoyKentsChestHair · 21/05/2022 15:27

Wedding crashers ffs

Original poster
Londonlamb · 21/05/2022 15:27

Thank you to everyone who has been kind I appreciate your lovely words I will shake this off and enjoy the rest of my day with a glass (crate) of fizz

OP posts:
bellsbuss · 21/05/2022 15:30

Your dad probably told her she was invited, if he did how embarrassing for her to be told to leave. I know it's shit he didn't ask you but I think I would ask the staff to accommodate them to save more drama. Your day isn't ruined , fix your make up , smile and enjoy the rest of your and your husbands day.

Ilikewinter · 21/05/2022 15:31

Yeah id be upset to OP, but your day isnt ruined, your DH has stepped in and hopefully sorted it out, can you ask MIL for help fix your make up? , please dont let then ruin your day

ineedsun · 21/05/2022 15:32

It’s disappointing that it’s not how you envisaged but it’s not ruined. Your new husband has your back, that’s the person you chose to spend your life with and he stuck up for you and did what was needed. All the rest is incidental and no one else will have been as aware as you. Probably in a week if you asked anyone about it, it will be a hazy memory. Clean up the makeup and if you have any left, put some more on. Then get out of the room and spend your wedding day with your husband!
This will be a funny story in 6 months

stepuporshutup · 21/05/2022 15:32

Come on op you have got this, first have a pee then fix your makeup, smile deep breath head held high go and enjoy your reception. If your father and the chavs have not gone please ask the staff to throw them out. I am sure your in laws are only to happy to have you join their family. Enjoy my lovely it is your beautiful wedding day xx

SwedishEdith · 21/05/2022 15:35

Who was your dad meant to come with?

Swingsandroundabouts123 · 21/05/2022 15:35

Congratulations. I don’t really have any advice but it sounds like your husband is supporting you and I hope the rest of the day is perfect for you both.

As fab as your husband may be, it’s so important to have other people in your life so now you’ve got the man of your dreams please make it a priority after today to make some friends through work, clubs or locally.