@ineedsun
You couldn’t be further from the truth in thinking that I ‘take the view that all DS people are homogenous and innocent and harmless.’ I worked with offenders with LD for years and know that there are some very dangerous people out there who happen to have an LD, I have also worked in non secure settings, have family with LD and am a trustee for a large charity for people with LD. Of course they’re not a homogenous, innocent, harmless group (perhaps that’s your assumptions about other posters influencing your responses?), however there is nothing in the OPs posts to suggest that there is any risk in her sons behaviour. When he was younger, in a similar situation (I take your point about how I and others are misquoting the OP), he got a bit giddy and it was managed. There’s no suggestion (and no reason to assume) that he is a risk to females just because he’s older.
Suggesting that people have shameful attitudes towards women because they’re not leaping to conclusions and are taking the facts as they’re presented rather than assume the OP is lying is very odd. It seems like you’re tying yourself in knots to deny that people with LD can be treated poorly which is odd if you have the level of experience of DS that you say you have.
Again I am going on what the sister and the cousin are saying. They (or the cousin) seems to be very close to OP's son, so clearly they know him very well. I don't think the cousin would have a very close relationship with OP's son and then be ashamed of him and not invite him to the wedding.
What I am saying is that there is more to this than the OP either acknowledges or even possibly knows herself (perhaps because cousin/sister didn't want to upset her or tell her about something he did, but now the wedding is coming up they can't really avoid it, if you know what I mean).
I know people with disabilities are treated poorly. However you seem to be using that as an excuse I feel, to castigate the cousin/sister. That because the son has an LD, therefore he isn't capable of harassment, that the cousin (who clearly knows the son very well so obviously knows his behaviour and ability better than us) is being unfair excluding him. Just because he had an LD and disability. That people with disabilities and LDs are treated poorly, again, is not justification to treat them as an homogenous group who aren't capable of harassment. Because people with LDs and other disabilities are treated poorly, does not mean OP's son hasn't harassed or made other women uncomfortable. It doesn't negate the other. My issue is I feel that you are saying that because he has LD, he is not capable of harassment and he should be given a pass. Because he has LD. That's what I mean by you treating them all homogenously. Having a disability and even LD does not mean he isn't capable of harassing women. The cousin, who is 'very close' to OP's son, clearly knows something we, and perhaps the OP, doesn't. He wouldn't excuse his cousin, the OP's son, lightly, if they are that close.