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Would you be horrified if you had to stand up

170 replies

Elbels · 07/01/2020 12:15

And eat dessert at a wedding?!

Current 'debate' between my mum and I. We're getting married at a venue with two spaces and need to clear out of the dining space so they can reset for the band and dancing.

My idea is that we move into a second room after the main course and have stand up dessert in small bowls or pots alongside teas and coffees. Mother dearest things is a terrible idea as there will be no tables in this room so how will people cope with eating and standing and heaven forbid holding a cup of tea for 30 mins.

Thoughts?

OP posts:
FlossieTeacakesFurCoat18 · 07/01/2020 12:16

I hate having to stand up to eat 😕 sorry!

FramingDevice · 07/01/2020 12:17

Depends what dessert is? Potential for trifle/gloopy chocolate soufflé down the front of glad rags best avoided.

bringincrazyback · 07/01/2020 12:18

Ugh, no. Too fiddly.

stilldoesntknowwhatshappening · 07/01/2020 12:18

I would hate that. And it wouldn't go down well with anyone I know. It's so awkward.
People have made an effort to dress nice and I would rather leave the dessert than risk getting it on my clothes.

AnneLovesGilbert · 07/01/2020 12:18

Depends on your guests. Any older people, pregnant women, people with mobility difficulties, anyone with a small baby?

Mother dearest may be sticking her ore in or she may be thinking about the comfort of your guests.

What’s the alternative?

MaggieFS · 07/01/2020 12:18

Sorry to say I think it sounds like a terrible idea. Why can't you just wait until the full meal is properly over and then everyone can happily move to the other room and just have a drink, go to the loo, whatever whilst the first room is re-dressed? This is completely normal and works well.

RuthW · 07/01/2020 12:19

I'm with your mother on this. !

Waterandlemonjuice · 07/01/2020 12:20

Terrible idea! Sorry.

AuntieStella · 07/01/2020 12:20

I think move after dessert, and have coffee (and equivalents) in the other room.

It's not that people can't juggle all the objects you wish them to. It's that they won't want to.

(After all a single glass and a designed to be eaten with fingers/on a stick canapé plus napkin is enough for mist people. Make it a cup and saucer and something sticky and it'll be memorable. But perhaps not in the way you'd prefer)

GeorgieTheGorgeousGoat · 07/01/2020 12:21

I agree with your mum! How can you hold and eat a dessert and a cup of tea/ glass of wine all at the same time?

stilldoesntknowwhatshappening · 07/01/2020 12:21

Also. What you described happens in every wedding I've ever been to. It's standard. You just finish the meal ( all of it!) do the speeches have a little mingle and then clear out where people go get drinks and start to unwind. If you're so time strapped you have to cut into your meal you need to move the ceremony/wedding breakfast to an earlier time.

Elbels · 07/01/2020 12:22

Huh, genuinely it's never phased me when it's happened at weddings I've been to which is why I asked.

I'm not talking big sloppy bowls of custard, it would be things like a small pot of lemon posset or brownie bites that you could throw in your mouth.

To a previous question no pregnant (yet) guests or people with health conditions that mean they couldn't stand.

I would have thought it stranger to move everyone into the room for the reset without a purpose but I guess you've made me think differently.

OP posts:
AiryFairyMum · 07/01/2020 12:22

No, bad idea.

MarySidney · 07/01/2020 12:23

I wouldn't like it at all.

Will there be anywhere to sit down? Will there be any elderly people/people with mobility problems there? Some people may have real difficulty "standing and heaven forbid holding a cup of tea for 30 mins".

wowfudge · 07/01/2020 12:23

What's the other space? Can you not just use that for the band and dancing? Ime lots of people prefer to sit and chat after a meal and 'visit' the dancefloor as the mood takes them.

Lailaha · 07/01/2020 12:23

Eating from a plate with a fork/spoon - two hands needed.
Drinking from a cup and saucer - also needs two hands.

Juggling two two-handed tasks standing up at a wedding? If you have sufficient bar-type tables (that you stand around) so everyone can put what's not in their hands at that time down very easily - could work.

Otherwise - your mother really is right!

How about switching pudding for something that can be propped on a saucer safely - slice of wedding cake - if you are determined to do it your way? You'll still need some seats and tables for elderly, disabled or child guests though.

JayAlfredPrufrock · 07/01/2020 12:23

Sorry it’s a no from me. But then I struggle as I have a walking stick to contend with as well.

heartsonacake · 07/01/2020 12:23

No, I would hate that. Nobody wants to stand up to eat.

buckeejit · 07/01/2020 12:23

Yes. Awful idea if the rest of the wedding is formal & conventional

Lailaha · 07/01/2020 12:25

Cross post - see you don't need to cater for anyone mobility impaired or disabled.

You could axe the posset and anything else two-handed, and have waiters circulating with "brownie bites to just throw in the mouth"

BarbarAnna · 07/01/2020 12:26

It’s never happened at a wedding I have been to and I too would not be impressed - sorry.

LeekMunchingSheepShagger · 07/01/2020 12:26

I’m with your mum. Can’t you have desert at the table and then move for coffee?

Ninkanink · 07/01/2020 12:26

You can’t have a cup of tea/coffee and eat a dessert at the same time. People will have to put either one down somewhere and so any tables provided will become crowded and a mess of people. It’s not practical at all.

AliasGrape · 07/01/2020 12:27

We just had this, got married in December. We did (very brief) speeches first, all 3 courses of the meal in the main room then served tea and coffee/ what was left of the wine and beer we’d provided in the bar area whilst the venue staff turned the room around.

I remember worrying it would be a right faff but I barely even noticed it happening - the staff are really experienced and able to work quickly and efficiently, and most people were glad of the chance to go to the loo/ get a drink at the bar/ nip to their room if staying etc.

Butterfly02 · 07/01/2020 12:29

I would find it impossible due to disability but also juggling a dessert, hot drinks, maybe a handbag, dc and their dessert even for an able bodied person would be difficult.