Observations from a wedding

[SkeletonSkins]

In the style of the recent observations from lanzarote thread, I’d just like to make a few observations in the week that I am attending three weddings:

1. People care about the decor for about 5 minutes then ignore it.
2. People do care when it costs £10 for a gin (Northern England).
3. Getting married an hour from where you live is a bit of a pain as it’s a bit close to stay over but a bit far for easy transport.
4. Organising a minibus in the above situation is a great idea.
5. A lot of wedding stuff costs a lot but for very little return/enjoyment eg favours £100 for 10 seconds of ‘ooo very nice’
6. A happy bride dancing and enjoying herself fills the dance floor.
7. Wedding cake is very sweet.
8. You literally don’t see the brides shoes

I’ll be back with more from weddings 2 and 3.

Don't treat the seating plan like some sort of psychosocial experiment, just sit people with their friends.

Haha!! I agree about shitfaced people and guest books

It's always so heartening to see "suck my dick" emblazoned across perfumed paper

Totally agree about the photos. We were at a wedding last week and the ceremony was at 11.30am (and finished by 11.45) but we didn't actually sit down to eat until 3.30pm...and just as we thought we were going to be served food, the speeches started, inc. a PowerPoint and a delay of several minutes while 'technical issues' with the laptop drunk best man were sorted out.

There was then a 3 hour wait, and a very expensive pay bar, until the evening festivities kicked off.

Fucking hell madisonavenue that wedding sounds shite!!!!

Did the bride and groom have any inkling that they'd just bankrupted themselves only to have their nearest and dearest actually bored shitless? Probably their heads were too far up their own arses to realise their unicorn fairytale day was a tedious and expensive slog for their guests.

I hope brides to be are reading this. Take note!!

Far worse than the guest book is the roving camera person who invites every slurring, half-cut guest to pay a personal tribute to the bride and groom that can be captured for posterity....

We are planning our wedding at the moment. Having the ceremony then a big party at the local social club. No speeches, first dance, favours, chair covers (who cares what the chairs look like?!). I just want everyone fed well and plenty of drink to go around. Also a cheap bar! Fancy buffet in the afternoon then a wood fired pizza van and ice cream van in the evening. I can't wait!

If your guests are all hungry, that's what they'll remember most about your big day. Not the dress, the venue or the entertainment. Don't invite guests and expect them to mill about for hours while you pose for photos, that you'll look at once in a blue moon.

Oh - and yours is not the ultimate love story so don't expect guests to be hanging off every word of a tome's worth of personalized vows. We don't care that you like strong coffee in the morning, just sign the fuckimg register!

Skeleton
I think we might have been to the same wedding! Your observations are my thoughts exactly - DH almost had a heart attack at the price of the gin!
I've also got another wedding to attend very shortly.....

Nice thread. Agree 100% with all but especially No. 6:
6. A happy bride dancing and enjoying herself fills the dance floor.

I hope brides to be are reading this. Take note!!

Reading!

And feeling pretty good about our plans after reading the OP.

1. The room looks nice enough, and there will be flowers on the tables. That's all.
2. Free bar all night.
3. Getting married in the place where about 50% of the guests live - the rest will be travelling from the UK and doing a bit of tourism. (Luckily we live somewhere most people are happy to visit.)
4. N/A
5. Can't be arsed with favours.
6. I hope to enjoy it!
7. We are having a macaron tower.
8. I've bought a new pair of white sneakers to wear under the dress.

Keep the tips coming! This is useful!

Agree re vows . Far from riveting. However, if they do bore on, good opportunity for a game of vow bingo. "You're my best friend" etc 🤢

Loveintokyo - sounds like an amazing wedding.

I may come off as a grumpy git but I actually love being a wedding guest.

I am getting married next year and will also be missing out most of the mentioned unnecessary things mentioned. Just concentrating on the food drink and music as that's all that anybody remembers.

I was recently at a wedding and the DJ was awful!! Think school disco! The dance floor was empty most of the night!

This is all very useful thanks everyone!!

I actually love being a wedding guest.

Me too, I have been known to grumble on occasion at the cost of attending them (the last one cost us about 450 EUR for travel and a one night stay and we weren't even travelling out of the country), but I love seeing two people you care about get married and having a right old knees up afterwards!

And yes - hunger trumps all in terms of all that "making memories" malarkey

It is a bit of a kick in the stomach when you have tamed the mane, trowelled on some slap, squeezed into the (new!) glad rags in the premier inn room you can barely afford, then hailing a cab to get your fat arse to the venue (no plus ones for me, my are takes up enough space for 2), hoofing it round to the drinks reception...to get half a measly flute of tepid fizz and a meagre mouthful of defrosted canapé. In the meantime, there's a cheque in your clutch bag that may bounce but at least you are following Love's Young Dream's subtle as a freight train begging poem to the letter....and all the while they have an entire bottle of the good stuff to themselves while they drool over each other in a photo shoot they would probably deem worthy of vanity fucking fair

Actually, on the back of that post, I would add:

Think long and hard before choosing a venue that is in the middle of nowhere and not accessible by public transport. The cost of attending can really sky rocket.

Haha if we did go to the same wedding, it was lovely! But the price of the gin will be one of the things I remember!

Should add I also love weddings! Just wish couples wouldn’t waste so much money on random things that aren’t even noticed by the guests. Seems such a waste.

When booking the venue, you might imagine hearing tinkling laughter, the pop of champagne corks and the low hum of guests chatting on the lawn. What you won't imagine is everyone crammed in like sardines, to an indoor space too small for the event, while it pisses down with rain outside.

It's always so heartening to see "suck my dick" emblazoned across perfumed paper

Just had to leave my desk as I can’t stop laughing @livefornaps

Okay as someone who is getting married so can I ask some questions?

1. Do you notice flowers in a church?
2. What do you think of a Ceilidh band?
3. Is it normal to get some sort of handout / hymns readings etc when you go into the church?
4. Do you prefer a seating plan or just sit where you like?

1. Do you notice flowers in a church?

I might notice them if they were there but probably wouldn't notice if they weren't there.

I don't think people will care if you don't do it.

2. What do you think of a Ceilidh band?

Love them. Fantastic way to get everyone up on the dance floor and possibly saves on bar costs as well because after a few rounds of strip the willow everyone is so giddy they feel drunk even if they're not.

I unfortunately can't have one at mine, but I recommend them!

3. Is it normal to get some sort of handout / hymns readings etc when you go into the church?

Yes.

4. Do you prefer a seating plan or just sit where you like?

Prefer a seating plan. Especially if you don't know the other guests and especially if you don't have a plus one.

Our venue have suggested allocating people to tables but then letting them sit where they want at the table.

Haha @2manysweets - I live to serve.

I have often had to stifle laughter while at my desk because of mn shenanigans

Thanks @LoveInTokyo !