Observations from a wedding

[SkeletonSkins]

In the style of the recent observations from lanzarote thread, I’d just like to make a few observations in the week that I am attending three weddings:

1. People care about the decor for about 5 minutes then ignore it.
2. People do care when it costs £10 for a gin (Northern England).
3. Getting married an hour from where you live is a bit of a pain as it’s a bit close to stay over but a bit far for easy transport.
4. Organising a minibus in the above situation is a great idea.
5. A lot of wedding stuff costs a lot but for very little return/enjoyment eg favours £100 for 10 seconds of ‘ooo very nice’
6. A happy bride dancing and enjoying herself fills the dance floor.
7. Wedding cake is very sweet.
8. You literally don’t see the brides shoes

I’ll be back with more from weddings 2 and 3.

Glad people have enjoyed the thread. I’m actually planning a wedding myself and it was the realisation that some of the things I’d been focusing on are just not important and won’t be missed. Obviously these are just my opinions and people should do whatever they like but I do think sometimes what we think guests want and what they actually want are very different. As a guest I’m not bothered about any of the add ons, I just like spending time with family, plenty of food, drink and good music. I also like it to be affordable and convenient to get to. Now I’m not saying I won’t go to weddings that are in the back of beyond but it does make things feel like a hassle before I even get there! I think if you make things easy and pleasant for guest they’re much more likely to ‘invest’ in your evening.

@Laineymc7 we’re going to get something like this - m.ebay.co.uk/itm/A5-Wedding-Words-Wisdom-Advice-Cards-Wedding-Table-Game-Favour-Guest-Book-/162261750756?ul_ref=http%3A%2F%2Frover.ebay.com%2Frover%2F1%2F710-53481-19255-0%2F1%3Futm_source%3Dtwenga%26utm_param%3DeyJlcyI6MCwicyI6OTcyMDIzNywiY2kiOiIwM2Y4MWM5YTJlZjQxODIyODNmNWQzNzg0NDRmZjM5YiIsImkiOiI1MjA2NjM0MDcyNzc4NDEzOTg2IiwidHMiOjE1MzM5MTA2MjksInYiOjMsInNvIjoxNTAwLCJjIjozMzE1Nn0%3D%26utm_campaign%3Dtwenga%26utm_medium%3Dcpc%26ff3%3D4%26pub%3D5574631662%26toolid%3D10001%26campid%3D5338243305%26customid%3D03f81c9a2ef4182283f5d378444ff39b%26mpre%3Dhttp%253A%252F%252Fwww.ebay.co.uk%252Fitm%252FA5-Wedding-Words-Wisdom-Advice-Cards-Wedding-Table-Game-Favour-Guest-Book-%252F162261750756%253Fvar%253D%26srcrot%3D710-53481-19255-0%26rvr_id%3D1627606203125%26rvr_ts%3D2432c0b51650a8665f46f52afff9d5a3&_mwBanner=1&_rdt=1&ul_noapp=true

And put them in peoples to fill in. Then I’ll get someone to collect them in and stick them in a guestbook next to a photo of them from the wedding.

I have to say I prefer later weddings. It’s a long day when they marry at 11.

I haven't had a single wedding invitation this year thank fuck

I’m horrified at the photo gallery of dead relatives! Is that an actual thing?!

1. Do you notice flowers in a church? I do, and quite like them, but wouldn't 'miss them' if they weren't there, IYSWIM (does depend on the Church to some extent)
2. What do you think of a Ceilidh band? Love them myself, but would want to know in advance as it might make a difference to what I was wearing - particularly shoes
3. Is it normal to get some sort of handout / hymns readings etc when you go into the church? It is pretty usual to have an order of service, yes, although I usually think it is a bit of a waste of all the time and effort that goes into it, plus the cost, myself. Most people do as it just keeps all the hymn words and prayer responses etc together in one place. They key thing is that the presbyter is clear about when they want you to stand / which book they want you to use and what page, if they want your to follow and respond.
4. Do you prefer a seating plan or just sit where you like? At the Reception ? A seating plan, otherwise it get awkward with not being able to find a table to fit your family, etc. At the Church I like sitting where I choose.

I think the important thing, is not especially what happens - in terms of formal meals or buffets or what time it is, etc, but that your guests know in advance, so can pack their picnic make arrangements for other meals etc., around what you are doing. Having a wedding starting at 12 in the middle of nowhere, then not serving the meal until 6,30pm, then that meal being tiny little amounts of 'nouveau cuisine' is not a plan likely to enable guests to have a good time. Guests were gnawing chair legs by the time the food came, then one mouthful and it was gone. (This was in the days before deliveroo and before smart phones so no-one could get out to any food). Not that I'm still traumatised by this, from 20 years ago.

Don’t buy the tat and crap. Not classy. Put the money saved behind the bar or buy extra fizz for toasting.

Take the walking under the trees photos another day. You get to wear the dress again and guests aren’t hanging around like lemons while you prance about wrecking your hair.

This thread is superb.

Except where the people planning their weddings are posting their itineraries for validation.

Yawn. You get amongst it because it's your wedding. No one else wants to hear it.

@skeletonskins I like your guest book idea. Thanks for the link
@madeintokyo I like the lots of fizz idea

I also hate early weddings. I had one last year that started at 11 and the venue was over a 2 hour drive from the church.
Much easier if it's all nearby.
This year I had an outdoor wedding where you could help yourself to booze. Food was bbq. It was nice and laid back. Dessert was a table full of wedding cake etc and you could help yourself. Booze all free.
Best wedding I went to was in Italy. Small about 60 people. Food was steak and chips. Free bar. Small dance floor. Small venue. Everyone was dancing.
I've been to bigger weddings where no one was dancing because the room was too big and looked too empty for the amount of people.

Weddings do strange things to people (brides and grooms mostly) don't they? My friend and I used to spend lots of time after a wedding bitching about discussing all the unnecessaries, wasting money on elaborate decorations and photo booths etc and scrimping on the buffet sort of thing, loooong speeches that we both agreed were boring, complaining that it wasn't, in fact, nice to be seated away from groups of friends etc so you can mingle with new people. The sheer amount of time bridezilla types spent jabbering on about all this stuff as though anyone else really cared.
And then she got married. It all went out the window Endless discussions on bunting, centre pieces, photo booths, ye olde sweete tablee, bizarre seating arrangements 'but it'd be nice for everyone to meet and mingle! We want lots of mingling!', the works. I sort of tried to steer her away from the ideas SHE hadn't previously liked but nope! And she loved it all, so there we are. No-one says to a bride "actually I didn't really enjoy it" so she'd be none the wiser!

My sisters mate drew a giant penis in her guest book. Brilliant.

We gave lottery tickets as favours. No one won a bloody thing.

I still have the flip flops from SiL wedding. Though didn't wear them on the night!

Abs agree on filling the guests with food and drink. No one gives a shite about decor or whether the DJ plays their favourite song, or if there's a fucking tree to hang a good wish on. All they care about is a crate of prosecco for every guest and gazillions of canapés.

Oh and keep the speeches short and affectionate!!!

dj with our chosen songs (pretty much all indie kind of dancy stuff from late 90's early 2000's we are 30 and 31)

If the dj is restricted to such a limited playlist, then you might as well have an ipod and some speakers. Surely the point of paying the dj is that it is their job to respond to the people who are there, at the party. Responding to what people request, and what types of music are getting people on to the dance floor. I can't help suspecting that not all your guests would necessarily like the same music as you.

I am genuinely gutted not to have any penises in my guestbook 😁

I have a penis in my guest book. It proper made me laugh and took me 2 days to investigate who it was 😂

Don't treat the seating plan like some sort of psychosocial experiment

This made me larf!

Some great advice on here
This is the plan for our upcoming wedding

1. Getting married and having reception in the same place near to where 70% of guests live
2. Only having around 30 guests
3. Sit down meal straight after
4. Small amount of photos
5. Some drinks provided
6. No favours, first dance, disco or tat
7. Simple and cheap flowers on table
8. All taking place in 12th century hall.

As a note me and dp don't drink and some members of the family are known to get too drunk, rowdy and cause fights with each other so we want a nice meal with the whole family that everyone can enjoy and remember

Mammyofasuperbaby

Don’t invite the drunks!

I love the speeches! They're an essential part IMO.

We can't @westendwellies, the drunks consist of some of the closest members of our family. They are normally ok but really over do it when alcohol is on offer. We couldn't imagine getting married without them

f the dj is restricted to such a limited playlist, then you might as well have an ipod and some speakers. Surely the point of paying the dj is that it is their job to respond to the people who are there, at the party. Responding to what people request, and what types of music are getting people on to the dance floor. I can't help suspecting that not all your guests would necessarily like the same music as you.

I have to say, I do agree with this. I wouldn't dance at a wedding if none of the music was familiar to me. I can't stop myself getting up if 'Come on Eileen' is played though!

Save your favourite music for your honeymoon. and give your guests a bit of variety. A good Dj knows how to do this.

We had a few flowers in table but little ones because had been 2 weddings with giant center pieces where you couldn't see the other half of the table!! We also had alcohol as favours so was a way of giving another free drink! I wish had worn trainers but didn't want to pay to alter dress so had high heels instead!!

Don't force people to dance/ceileih/row the boat if they are uncomfortable (especially at a dry wedding)

Don't serve salmon as the vegetarian option.

Don't tell people it's a paid bar then charge (cue lots of scraping around and borrowing off others as not everyone had brought much money)

Provide meals for everyone you have invited

On the subject of naff/overdone/enforced fun type stuff....I was thinking about doing something at mine which could potentially fall into this category!

Basically I was thinking of putting a small game on each table (no seating plan by the way), eg top trumps, pack of cards, uno, pass the pigs, something like that. There will be quite a lot of children there and I'm thinking that:

It might give guests who don't fancy dancing something to do

It might help keep some of the children entertained

It's fun

Is this a terrible idea?

Well, if you aren't making people play, then it wouldn't bother me, but I'd think it was a bit odd.
Who are all these people who can't socialise at a wedding without needing the B&G to provide 'entertainment'??

When my dc were little, if I felt they were likely to be in need of entertainment / distraction when we were going somewhere, i'd have taken things myself for them to do, not expected other people to do this.

My couple of observations from a recent wedding...

1. If you're going to have a children's table at the reception, brief the staff to bring out their food near the beginning, not leave them to last.
2. Not all children need their food to be battered or covered in bread crumbs; some children eat real food.
3. Get someone to spell check things like the 'Mr and Mrs X's wedding' caption on photo booth print outs.

Huge distances between ceremony and reception venues... unless you are putting on a load of transport to ship people about.

Lots of comments about wedding venues being too far from home. Ours is 1hr from where we live, will be fairly local to some friends, but have friends and family from all over the uk and abroad so can’t please everyone. The people invited to evening only will be fairly local

I would love a ceilidh band.
Prefer a seating plan.
I like flowers so yes but otoh I wouldn’t spend a fortune on them.

Went to a lovely evening bash last week. Hot dogs, sausage and chips and bacon rolls.
Bride and everyone else wore converse so they could all dance to the band.
So much love in the room for the bride and groom. Lovely evening.