Observations from a wedding

[SkeletonSkins]

In the style of the recent observations from lanzarote thread, I’d just like to make a few observations in the week that I am attending three weddings:

1. People care about the decor for about 5 minutes then ignore it.
2. People do care when it costs £10 for a gin (Northern England).
3. Getting married an hour from where you live is a bit of a pain as it’s a bit close to stay over but a bit far for easy transport.
4. Organising a minibus in the above situation is a great idea.
5. A lot of wedding stuff costs a lot but for very little return/enjoyment eg favours £100 for 10 seconds of ‘ooo very nice’
6. A happy bride dancing and enjoying herself fills the dance floor.
7. Wedding cake is very sweet.
8. You literally don’t see the brides shoes

I’ll be back with more from weddings 2 and 3.

I have just invited my boss. I think he'll dance.

Observations from a wedding: there's always going to be something that one or some of your guests won't like. You can't please everyone. It is entirely impossible so concentrate on hosting to the best of your ability, add in things which you (as a couple) like or find meaningful, and have a great day.
Auntei B will hate your decorations, someone will moan about the chicken, or the gap between snacks and chicken, or the timing of the chicken generally. Some people will love your photobooth, some will hate it enough to bitch on an internet forum....but if you like it and will have fun with it and can afford it, have one. Ditto sweet buffets, favours, helium balloons, whatever. If you like it and can afford it then have it.

If you're having a church wedding don't have the reception venue a million miles from the church.
Don't have big gaps between ceremony and reception or reception and evening do.
B & G shouldn't leave the guests to go off to a local landmark to have photos done, leaving guests wondering what's happening. ( Went to one wedding and they were gone 3 hours!)

Most dresses look the same from a distance.

Couples like to sit together.

Guests are happy if they can sit and drink and eat.

Oh, god, speeches. Why don't these go the way of the dodo bird? NO ONE cares or listens to them, they all just want to eat.

Photo booths are a total waste of money.

• Don't have the reception 200 miles away from where you live/work/socialise, invite evening only guests and then do kareoke. And any B&B's locally were extortionate.
• Don't have a lunch time wedding then wait several hours to serve food of any kind, which is then a buffet and by the time the last table can queue up all the food is gone.
• Don't try to squeeze loads of people into a tiny venue, DIY is nice but people need some elbow room to eat their food
• Do provide many many MANY jugs of water on the table. Not everyone loves drinking nothing but booze from morning til night and can't always fit a water bottle into a fancy bag

I more or less refuse to have anything to do with weddings these days, I find them miserable, expensive experiences for guests.

Please stop telling guests you don't need anything but to give you money. It's rude. Pay for your own honeymoon. If you don't need anything then say no gifts and mean it. And yy to expecting evening guests to stay over someplace or worse, tell them to come to the ceremony and then fuck off whilst the a-listers get fed and then come back for the cheap party.

Absolutely agree that people should have what THEY want, but worry some people have stuff because they feel they should or feel some sort of obligation to ‘entertain’ people and because everyone else has it.

A few more observations-

Bands are great until they’re really loud in a small room. This drives people out of the room.

If the bride and groom aren’t dancing, people often won’t dance either.

You can get really lovely bridesmaids dresses for cheap.

Not everyone likes karaoke. It divides people into groups 1. The ones who can sing(and want everyone to know) 2. The ones who can't sing but think that they can 3 . The ones that who would rather be plucking their eyelashes out with rusty pliers . Please don't ruin a perfectly good wedding by allowing drunk uncle baz to sing his favourite Robbie Williams song ...

Most dresses look the same from a distance.

Especially strapless dresses.

Most "themes" just come across as odd. The theme is you are getting married and it's a wedding.

@chickacharlie I always notice flowers in church! We have really basic flowers in our church normally (eg single vase with bunch of crysanths) so on a special occasion, when there are actual arrangements and flowers on the windowsills/aisle ends, it looks so pretty and special.
My feeling is that although it will look perfectly fine without them, flowers make it extra-celebratory and special for the day - especially if you normally go to that church.

FWIW you don't necessarily have to spend tons on florists - there might be volunteers there who will do something nice for costs+donation?

FWIW you don't necessarily have to spend tons on florists - there might be volunteers there who will do something nice for costs+donation?

Or do what I did. Get married at Christmas time. The church was beautifully decorated for the festive season, and it did not cost us a thing.

Don't have hay bales as the only seating (bitter experience - torn silk dress and posh tights ending up like rags...)

Oh fucking fuck! My DS is getting wed next year and already it's shaping up to be quite the naff-fest which no gentle steering is deterring them from. So far, we have...
Candy table
Cupcake tower
Photo frames with all sorts of poems about where to sit etc
Blackboards with things on
Bunting
Photo gallery of dead relatives
There'll be no room for food on the tables with the amount of palaver going on there (centres in fish bowls, chargers etc)
The MIL is a 'crafter', nuff said?
Baskets of spa slippers
Oh, and a 'no present but cash would be nice ' poem going out in the invitations
So, full house I think!

But, d'ya know, it's their big day and planning it is making them happy, and we're all looking forward to the day cos they're a bloody lovely couple ❤️

DO have well-written, well-delivered and heartfelt speeches.
This is a milestone occasion, not just any old noisy party.

1. Do you notice flowers in a church?

It depends on the church. Some places need a bit extra to look special, some are already beautiful spaces"

1. What do you think of a Ceilidh band?

Good ceilidh bands are awesome, particuarly if you are fairly certain that most of your guests will get stuck in. Bad ceilidh bands are beyond awful and you can't strip the willow with half a dozen drunkards slipping over the floor while the rest of the guests have made their excuses to leave the room

3. Is it normal to get some sort of handout / hymns readings etc when you go into the church?

Yes, it's normal to get an order of service. How detailed it needs to be depends on who is attending. For example, if most guests are church goers you can get away with saying "The Lord's Prayer" and "All things Bright and Beautiful (number 367)". If not, you will want to print the words of the Lord's Prayer and either the words of All Things or directions to turn to hymn number 367 in the separate hymn book provided

4. Do you prefer a seating plan or just sit where you like

Seating plan for a formal event helps eliminate situations where a family of five can't find enough seats together because all the tables of eight have two couples on them already, or having to wander around the room asking "is anyone sitting here?" to find a chair. A good compromise is allocating tables to people but not actual chairs, so everyone knows that they have somewhere to sit - at the start of the night at least - but without having to sweat about whether A can sit next to B or which of your gay friends should be put in which chair when you are trying for a girl-boy-girl-boy seating pattern...

Gosh, some very miserable people on this thread.
How about, your wedding, do what you want... theme or not, photo booth/sweet table or nothing, chair covers 🤷🏼‍♀️ Who fucking cares, not your wedding!!!

Lasting memory from SIL's wedding (Loch Lomond/expensive/now divorced) minuscule food portions, expensive booze-Chinese takeaway on the way home! 🍜

@LoveInTokyo a handout in church is called an Order of Service, if you've got hymns the words are usually printed in this. Love a ceilidh but get a caller, the get folk on the floor and talk them through the steps.

Speeches should either be very short or properly planned and are best not delivered half cut .

@AlrightBabby photo gallery of dead relatives no, no, no!!!! 😫

Don't treat the seating plan like some sort of psychosocial experiment, just sit people with their friends.

This! I've been to so many weddings where they split groups of friends/family up it's the worst bit of the wedding finding out who is on (or not on) your table. I went to the first wedding last weekend where our friendship group were all on the same table and it made such a difference

Another thing I dislike is overly long speeches. I went to one wedding where the groom, maid of honour, father of the bride, mother of the groom and then grandad of the bride made a speech and it was the longest most drawn out affair I think I've ever witnessed

Kate I went to similar - plus the best man ‘winged it’ rambled for 45 minutes about nothing. The Bride thought it was amazing though?

I can tell you every wedding where I was hungry, this is the memory that lasts.

We went to a wedding in a very expensive venue they couldn’t afford (so nearly everyone was a night guest only) and then everything was really cheap. There was no drink on arrival, tiny buffet and weirdly the favours were mini fake chocolate bars from Asda. Literally the strangest thing I’ve ever seen.

I was quite keen to do away with speeches, but I’m glad we had them in the end. DH is a very closed book, so half of his old friends didn’t know he had a girlfriend, let alone one serious enough to marry. His parents also didn’t know until we moved in together. So the best man asked me in advance how we met and got together, and lots of people have randomly mentioned it to me since then so they were obviously listening enough to remember it and bring it up. They were short speeches though, mainly because it was baking hot and no one wanted to be stood up for long. We just had them while we were all stood around mingling, so people could move around if they wanted/wander off/not have to keep kids quiet etc. We went to a wedding a few years ago where the speeches went on for far too long, and there was no water on the tables (and we weren’t allowed to get up to use the loo if we needed to - it felt like school!). There were two best men who delivered a speech each, and then a joint one together where they were essentially having a laugh with the groom about stuff none of us had any idea about. People were sighing, flicking through their phones, all sorts. Even the photographer sat down because there was no one looking happy to take pictures of. Awful!