Observations from a wedding

[SkeletonSkins]

In the style of the recent observations from lanzarote thread, I’d just like to make a few observations in the week that I am attending three weddings:

1. People care about the decor for about 5 minutes then ignore it.
2. People do care when it costs £10 for a gin (Northern England).
3. Getting married an hour from where you live is a bit of a pain as it’s a bit close to stay over but a bit far for easy transport.
4. Organising a minibus in the above situation is a great idea.
5. A lot of wedding stuff costs a lot but for very little return/enjoyment eg favours £100 for 10 seconds of ‘ooo very nice’
6. A happy bride dancing and enjoying herself fills the dance floor.
7. Wedding cake is very sweet.
8. You literally don’t see the brides shoes

I’ll be back with more from weddings 2 and 3.

I’m just reporting in from Nieces wedding which was excellent. Best things were

1. Very personal not too cringey wedding service led by minister who actually knew the couple

1. Very short photo session

1. Lots of free drinks and food

1. Very funny, touching and appropriate speeches

1. Safe play area within sight of dining area where children could go as soon as they had finished eating . So no whiny, bored children and stressed mums ( it’s always mums of course, dads are on the other side of the room with a beer in their hand )

1. No band until late so people could actually have a conversation over dinner

1. Seated with people we knew

Food and drink are the most important things to the guests.
Don’t drag out the photos (I’ve just got comfy, I don’t want to squeeze in to another group photo just because the sun is setting).
Best man’s speech was funny but I won’t remember it.
Offer a decent vegetarian option!
The little survival kits in the ladies toilets are quite a good idea.
I have no idea what to write in your guest book, will you ever look at it anyway?

FOTB once stood over us with guest book demanding we wrote in it after we had just arrived. So dozens of people just writing ‘congratulations’ to get rid of him.

Thank you OP, this thread is great!

(And thanks Rosemary46, that post was particularly useful.)

Rosemary are you my aunty?

If she is your aunty it's a good job she didn't come on here to slag off your wedding, isn't it?

Keep speeches short!

We went to a fabulous wedding in Norway where the convention is that anyone can give a speech - I think there were 15 but no speech is to be longer than 3 minutes.

This worked beautifully - the speeches were funny and moving and it felt really joyous.

@gingeum - I might be your auntie. If you are E and your husband is M.

And you have a thin, gorgeous, kind and all round wonderful aunt.

Ha! My husband is M but sadly I am not E. My aunt is all round wonderful though

@SenecaFalls I couldn't agree more Most "themes" just come across as odd. The theme is you are getting married and it's a wedding.

I think a lot of the theme nonsense comes from wedding magazines. As a naive newly betrothed bride to be, I bought one of those wedding magazines, not realising just what a load of old shite it would be. All of the 'featured' weddings seemed to have a theme, the most questionable of which was Cath Kidson theme . Aside from the fact that CK is a brand, not a theme, the whole thing was the naff fest you can imagine- floral tee-pees and cupcakes galore.

It seems to me that a lot of wedding-related stuff people feel they have to spend money on comes from that initial gateway drug of the magazine. So all in all, I blame capitalism

Ps My wedding did not have a 'theme'

My wedding has a theme. The theme is champagne.

Speeches are awful. Just who cares? People want to eat, not listen to your relatives witter on about how wonderful you all are. That's the other thing, there seems to be a trend to be stingy with food to afford a statement venue. It's awful.

@LoveInTokyo Ok I massively approve of that theme. Can I come?

This is a great thread. Op thanks for starting. Following as I'm getting married next year.
So no guest book? Has anyone looked back on theirs?
Defo going to spend the money on food, drink and decent band. No other gimmicks.

We had a guest book and everyone wrote in it. Some really lovely and funny messages and I do look in it a fair bit.

If you're having an outdoor ceremony followed by your guests being left outdoors for several hours before the evening do, tell them in advance. We were bored, cold thanks to a stiff breeze but also sunburnt because of the sun. It totally killed the mood and by the time the evening guests arrived we all just wanted to go home.

This is funny😂. I love a wedding but there does need to be plenty of food and drink.

Seating plans can sometimes be odd. My 16 year old DD was put on a completely different table to the rest of us at a wedding last year which was bizarre. She really enjoyed it though as the rest of the tanks thought she was 18 and kept topping up her glass

The rest of the table! Not tanks

I have to say that I am not fond of outdoor weddings. Both of my children got married outdoors, and one had the reception outdoors. For one, it was unseasonably hot, for the other an unexpected cold front moved in the morning of the wedding.

My 16 year old DD was put on a completely different table to the rest of us at a wedding last year which was bizarre. She really enjoyed it though as the rest of the tanks thought she was 18 and kept topping up her glass.

I am planning to seat my 18 and 19 year old cousins (unrelated, don't know each other) together and away from the rest of their older siblings who tend to treat them like babies. I think they'll have more fun that way.

I really enjoyed my brother's wedding, apart from the seating plan. That said, I get why they had the seating plan they did, as there are some very fraught relationships in SIL's family. In any case it ended up working out fine for me as no one else on my table drank white wine so I had two bottles to myself :) Thankfully there was also a lot of food.

Here's how we did ours - and I think it worked pretty well.
No bridesmaids (closest friends helped me on the day)
No colour scheme
Ceremony flowed into photos (only about 5 group shots), flowed into cocktail in the garden (during which we mingled took some more (informal) pics, flowed into dinner, flowed into dancing during which at some point we cut the cake)
We kept flowers to a minimum (bouquet, buttonholes, tables, 2 big arrangements)
No seat covers - the chairs were nice
We also kept guests to less that 50, meaning that we had time for everyone.
We seated everyone for ceremony and dinner but this was more to keep family groups together and to make sure people who needed to be able to get out of their seats easily could do so.
Speeches kept to an absolute minimum - definitely no powerpoint
No favours.
Plenty of real Champagne and good food
A good DJ
Everything in one place. No moving between venues. That also meant no wedding cars

Most best man speeches aren't anywhere as amusing as the best man hopes/thinks they will be. No one really needs a 45 minute wannabe stand-up routine about one half of the couple which alienates or bores the half of the room who don't know what all the hilarious in jokes refer to.

We are having a 'wedding party' a few days after our wedding as we are getting married while on holiday abroad alone but this way get to celebrate 5 days later with our friends and family.

6pm-11:30pm.
Arrivals drinks and canapes,
dj with our chosen songs (pretty much all indie kind of dancy stuff from late 90's early 2000's we are 30 and 31)
No speeches
Lots and Lots of alcohol, big barrells of ice with bottled lagers and ciders for people to pick up from dotted around the room
A single photo on each table of us at our ceremony/around Vegas
A hog roast buffet of Buns, pig, stuffing, roasties and apple sauce served approx 8pm
No photo booth
There are chaircovers but that's because the chairs are black and it really brightens the room having them covered in white.