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Original poster

Guests wearing white/cream/ivory

107 replies

emmeline7725 · 26/04/2017 18:16

Just wanted to know how others feel about guests wearing similar colours to the bride. And does being the mother of the groom make any difference. I am wondering if I should talk to my mother in law to be about her outfit choice!

OP posts:
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5
PigletWasPoohsFriend · 28/04/2017 16:19

I'm of the belief that you can't dictate to people what they can and cannot wear. Focus on yourself and your husband; it's your day. Don't worry about what colours people are wearing.

^ this.

You really can't insist people do or don't wear somethings.

Allthebestnamesareused · 28/04/2017 16:21

I don't think she will outshine you and I am assuming she will have coloured accessories (eg Maybe a navy or black hat, bag and shoes). Perhaps have a word with her about how she intends to accessorise it instead of full out banning the suit.

At least being ivory it will tone in rather than clash with bridesmaids etc. PS> What colour are the bridesmaids wearing?

OVienna · 28/04/2017 16:26

That is a ridiculous outfit she's planning to wear.

LaundryQueenHatesBunfights · 28/04/2017 16:30

My MIL wore white to my wedding despite a specific request from me that she did not. I was not a bridezilla, I asked nothing iof anyone, didn't have a bridal shower/hen do etc, this was my only request and she fucking did it anyway. I'm still angry about it. DH let slip some time after that she was upset at not being involved at planning it (wtf, OUR wedding?!), so it was obviously done intentionally to upset me. I don't know if there is a correlation but she was also awful after DS was born and expected to spend afternoons looking after him (a tiny newborn) while I 'did housework' and taking him out for 'long walks in his pram' Confused (although she couldn't have done the second one even if we had let her as DS hated his pram and was very high needs) luckily she was put straight my DH but was still monstrous in other ways relating to him. We don't have a good relationship at all now, I would nip this in the bud now. And that outfit is TOTALLY bridal, she's taking the piss.

PigletWasPoohsFriend · 28/04/2017 16:31

And that outfit is TOTALLY bridal,

No it REALLY isn't.

Gooseygoosey12345 · 28/04/2017 16:33

White dress - no. White trousers and top - fine. That's how I'd feel anyway

rainbowgiraffe · 28/04/2017 16:35

Of all the colours in the world why on earth would your mil monster in law wear the one colour you've specifically asked her not to??
I'd be annoyed and would have to say something.
Your dress is stunning.

KickAssAngel · 28/04/2017 16:37

Yes, there would def. be brides who could/would do this.

Yes, it could be seen as a deliberate attempt to upstage/upset you.

No, I wouldn't say anything. You have (hopefully) a lifetime to rub along together. Just tell yourself that she looks a bit like she wants to upset you, and that other people will see through this (if they even notice).

BUT - make sure she doesn't stand right next to you in photos. Always have her the other side of DH, or someone else in between. If she asks, tell her that wearing ivory makes her blend in too much and the two of you will look like a big white blob with two heads.

Justmadeperfectflapjacks · 28/04/2017 16:43

Wouldn't bother me what she wore if I hadn't already asked that's she didn't wear it.
Sounds like a touch of defiance imo. .

ExConstance · 28/04/2017 16:50

I expect she will be accessorising in a different colour, I can't think of any reason not to wear white/cream/ivory as a guest if the style of the outfit is not bridal. I wore a cream dress to a wedding once, but I had bright green shoes and a green hat with a veil to go with it.

BerylStreep · 28/04/2017 16:53

I really don't think you should say anything.

ExConstance · 28/04/2017 16:54

P.S. just looked on the Lindybop web site, this dress is in the "Mother of the Bride" section, so nothing odd about "Mother of the Bridegroom" choosing it.

Goingtobeawesome · 28/04/2017 16:57

My MiL wore a suit in a colour that blended in with my flowers and the men's ties. I said it was fine but really I was miffed and it still annnoys me today as I've seen what she can be like.

Aged 21 I went to my oldest friend's wedding in a white dress and it's played on my mind since I jinxed it as they are now divorced. I bought it and as soon as it dawned on me what I'd done I rang her and asked if she'd like me to change it. She said no but I did borrow trousers and a top for the evening do.

LaundryQueenHatesBunfights · 28/04/2017 17:02

Maybe not seen as bridal now but in what was my MIL's generation and quite possibly the OPs generation people absolutely wore outfits like that to get married in.

Piglet, out of interest, do you think what the OPs MIL is doing is totally innocuous?

kel1493 · 28/04/2017 17:06

I would of went mental if a guest wore such colours to my wedding.

kel1493 · 28/04/2017 17:07

In blue it wouldn't be so bad.
Though quite why anyone would choose to wear that is beyond me anyway

DebiNewberry · 28/04/2017 17:10

It's just going to make her look a bit daft and others eye roll but none of it will be directed at you. I would just choose to find it amusing and let her carry on. Apart from anything else you can't control her behaviour/dress buying (as she's most definitely telling you).

duxb · 28/04/2017 18:18

My MIL advised me she had purchased her wedding outfit and it was her dream, made her feel so comfortable etc.

It was a crisp white jacket with black edging and a black dress. I was fuming but saved the fight.

I'm still bitter now as on the photos she's shining like a beacon! It completely draws attention.

If you've already said no ivory and she intends to wear it anyway I'd make it clear that you aren't happy and that should be turn up in ivory on the day that it's her directly going against you're one wish for guests dress code. she should be embarrassed but unfortunately it's fairly common for MILs who try to steal focus.

She shouldn't be so disrespectful.

You're dress is stunning by the way.

Babayaggatheboneylegged · 28/04/2017 18:41

Shock so much madness on this thread!

Let your MIL wear what she wants! I presume she is a good couple of decades older than you? I very much doubt anyone will confuse you both.

Honestly, save the angst for stuff that really matters. I honestly couldn't have given a shit what anyone else was wearing on my wedding day. My mum wore a black and white dress and black hat and black accessories. She looked fab! And we had a great day!

Seriously, get some perspective and enjoy YOUR dress and your day.

PigletWasPoohsFriend · 28/04/2017 18:43

Piglet, out of interest, do you think what the OPs MIL is doing is totally innocuous?

Tbh I didn't and wouldn't get wound up by it no.

People saying they 'would go mental' or 'wouldn't be having it' are way OTT imo.

PerfectPeachy · 28/04/2017 18:44

You go Judy Shock

I'm a bit Confused that so many people care about this type of thing. It's just a dress. It seems old fashioned to be so dissaproving if what someone is wearing.

Guests wearing white/cream/ivory
PigletWasPoohsFriend · 28/04/2017 18:44

I would of went mental if a guest wore such colours to my wedding.

Seriously? So what are you going to do? Have an arguement? Throw them out of the wedding?

how ott

user1466690252 · 28/04/2017 19:49

Its basic etiquette, and to be honest, I like a bit of it, it's lacking. Just look at some of the (barely there) dresses on ladies day ect. If you are having a formal wedding then I do like the formal rules a bit, its traditional. It would annoy me and all my friends actually, I know because we have discussed it before

Original poster
emmeline7725 · 28/04/2017 20:11

Isn't Judy's dress taupe? 😀

Just in answer to some pp's questions...

Wedding is late July so time to change dresses potentially.

Bridesmaids are in navy. Just noticed on Lindy bop that mil's dress is available in navy. I'd have no objections to that.

OP posts:
Ohyesiam · 28/04/2017 20:47

So of it's not about being mixed up with the bride, what is the etiquette about?

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