Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Weddings

Chat to other Mumsnetters on our Wedding forum.

Flip

1 2 3 4 5

Original poster

Guests wearing white/cream/ivory

107 replies

emmeline7725 · 26/04/2017 18:16

Just wanted to know how others feel about guests wearing similar colours to the bride. And does being the mother of the groom make any difference. I am wondering if I should talk to my mother in law to be about her outfit choice!

OP posts:

Thread gallery

NewIdeasToday · 26/04/2017 19:33

Your dress is stunningly beautiful.

Your MIL's dress is nice too. Personally I think it will complement yours nicely. And she won't be confused with the bride.

So I'd say pick your battles (or better stick don't create them at all) and enjoy your wonderful day together.

blueskyinmarch · 26/04/2017 19:33

Both dresses are lovely but i think your MIL to be needs to swap her ivory one for the blue one. Would she be amenable to that do you think?

BuzzKillington · 26/04/2017 19:34

They are both gorgeous

Why doesn't she wear it in the blue, which would be nicer than ivory anyway?

CocoLoco87 · 26/04/2017 19:34

Your dress is gorgeous!!! You will outshine her in that for sure

However I understand your concern and would feel the same. I think you should ask her why she didn't go for it in blue. Ask her in front of your fiance so you have some back up to her response. YANBU to ask her to change it since she asked you in the first place and then went against your wishes.

RollingRolling · 26/04/2017 19:35

She'll look a right tit wearing that.

PacificDogwod · 26/04/2017 19:35

Hm. Yes. I see your point.
And I too would wonder what kind of point she is making...

Do you think she misunderstood you and is under the impression you specified ivory??

Having said all that, you need to let it go and serenely rise above it.
She will draw attention on the day for all the wrong reasons if she does go ahead and wear that outfit in white. The blue version is lovely btw.

fuzzywuzzy · 26/04/2017 19:39

If your mil wears that dress in ivory, other guests will definitely think she's being unreasonable. I imagine with a large hat it could look very close to bridal.

It's up to you, if it upsets you then tell her she can't wear it.

Personally I'd let her go ahead and make herself look like an attention seeking nightmare mother of the groom.

Original poster

emmeline7725 · 26/04/2017 19:49

Thank you all for your comments. I'm glad you like my dress, I was having a wobble about it! I did think about suggesting the blue one. Will sleep on it and decide in the morning!

I'm really not trying to find reasons to be annoyed at her! (If I wanted to be annoyed I could easily find plenty of reasons, but I don't! She's quite nice really)

OP posts:

ArseyTussle · 26/04/2017 19:55

Is that really bridal? Looks like a jacket and skirt to me, regardless of the colour.

MiladyThesaurus · 26/04/2017 19:55

Why not get her son to suggest that some of the guests might think she's trying to upstage the bride. He can do it in a 'silly them' kind of way, but plant the seed that she might be positioning herself for whispered conversations about MILs from hell at the wedding. She'll probably decide that it's best to go with the blue instead.

JustMumNowNotMe · 26/04/2017 20:01

is that bridal?! I thought it very Delores Umbridge

Original poster

emmeline7725 · 26/04/2017 20:07

I hope you mean the mil dress is Dolores Umbridge and not mine!!

I never really thought that hers is bridal. I just felt a bit peeved about the colour and wondered if it was just me who would adhere to the standard etiquette and I shouldn't expect others to do so.

OP posts:

Magnoliafive · 26/04/2017 21:33

If anyone wore that to my wedding I would have had a word with the photographer and made sure they weren't in any of the photos, MIL included.

JustMumNowNotMe · 27/04/2017 12:21

Sorry yes MIL not you!

user1483387154 · 27/04/2017 12:27

I do not think it is appropriate for any wedding guest to wear the same colour as the bride. I dont mind if they chose an ivory dress with bold colour print on it for example, but plain white/ivory/cream is a NO.

user1466690252 · 28/04/2017 10:37

What the above user said. Its not that difficult to find a different colour for guests. I don't understand why they do it? It's just one day and not important to the guests but does look odd and can come across as passive aggressive towards the bride. In ny first wedding, my ex mil had a top made out of the same fabric as my wedding dress (not ivory) I was so upset, it was commented on and abudently clear to everyone she was trying to keep a little bit of control over the day, she was the one being talked about and she didn't even mind it wasn't in a positive light, they were just talking about her not me. Spoke volumes about her peronality really

SuperBeagle · 28/04/2017 10:44

I'm of the belief that you can't dictate to people what they can and cannot wear. Focus on yourself and your husband; it's your day. Don't worry about what colours people are wearing.

grannytomine · 28/04/2017 10:49

My late MIL wore black from head to toe, the only thing that wasn't black was her necklace. She lived to regret it, I never mentioned it but she got ribbed something rotten by everyone else. She didn't want a wedding photo and hated it that we had one up with us and mothers, both fathers had died when we were children.

Maybe if someone pointed out to her that she would be the butt of jokes she might change?

DingoDog · 28/04/2017 12:28

Lots and lots of people wouldn't care a jot, me included. Generally it's pretty clear who the bride is 🤔. However since joining Mumsnet I understand a lot of people get angry about it so it's probably best to ask.
It's not an issue then.

Rosa · 28/04/2017 12:32

I wore cream linen to my SIL wedding ... It was a straight linen skirt with a cami and a jacket - I then matched it with navy accessories . It was 100% guest of wedding and no way bridal ..... It was also 10 years ago before online shopping existed and living abroad I had little or no choice !!

DingoDog · 28/04/2017 12:33

Ugh sort out posted having only read the OP. . That does seem a bit odd but I wouldn't personally care. If she feels nice in it then why worry. If she is wearing it to piss you off then good luck to her - ignoring her and not caring about it will piss her off.

Talking about it with other people is only going to lead to bad feeling.

Life is too short to care about this type of crap.

Her dress is very pretty as is yours

ThouShallNotPass · 28/04/2017 12:41

Oh I do think it is pretty "older bride" bridal to be honest. Something my step mum could have worn. It is definitely against widely known etiquette to wear full cream, ivory or white to a wedding as it will detract somewhat from the happy couple. Its not that anyone would confuse the MIL and bride, but the fact that the guests will be raising eyebrows and it will undoubtedly be a talking point. People will be wondering why the groom's mother is pulling a "Monster In Law" (Jennifer Lopez/Jane Fonda).

Perhaps you could get someone to mention what people may say seeing her in an almost bridal outfit? If you do it yourself, you're bridezilla, if someone else does it, it's them trying to save MIL from embarrassment.

DingoDog · 28/04/2017 14:58

I've looked online and the MILs dress is available on Mumsnet favourite Lindybop. It comes in all sorts of colours ( I can't find cream or ivory). it's only £55 so I really think it's a million miles away from a wedding dress. The fabric, cut and quality is much more casual.

Original poster

emmeline7725 · 28/04/2017 16:05

It's definitely in cream. I've seen it in person. As pp said it's not about confusing her with me but given that it's widely accepted etiquette not to wear the same colour as the bride I'm disappointed that she wants to flout that.

I'm going to speak to her when I see her tomorrow. If that makes me bridezilla then so be it!

OP posts:

LittleBearPad · 28/04/2017 16:13

Seriously she isn't going to outshine you. No one is going to be confused. I think you're being childish. You really don't have the right to tell a grown woman what to wear. Barring bridesmaid who have signed up to bring told what to do.

Flip

1 2 3 4 5

Swipe left for the next trending thread