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Original poster

Did you have a small wedding? (And I mean TINY) Please share with me

109 replies

Dillinger · 12/01/2012 11:24

Ok Dp and I have been together for almost 10 years, have 2 children (6 and 4). We want to get married but really dont like the whole centre of attention thing so want to do it as small and quiet as possible but I need some ideas of how to make things special too.

It will be at the registry office, but Im pretty sure Im not bothered about cars, clothes, bridesmaids etc etc My family wouldnt come (they live miles away and dont visit - Im on the stately homes thread) and its the same for Dp's family. We have a few 'fairweather' friends so wouldnt want to invite them anyway, it would literally be Dp and I, 2 witnesses and the children.

I was thinking we could go for a meal afterwards as a small group but dont really know what else/if anything. We wouldnt be having a honeymoon. I think we would need photos but I HATE having to stand there smiling so think Id prefer the kind of photos where it looks like they were taken in secret, if you get me. Ive no idea how to sort this Confused

Any ideas would be much appreciated!

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Original poster
Dillinger · 12/01/2012 11:31

Oh christ do I need a cake?! If I felt brave enough Id wear whatever I liked, get the wedding bit done and go home again! Is that bad?

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CrotchFlakes · 12/01/2012 11:35

Reportage photography. You can google for that.

Could you go somewhere nice for the weekend and get married while you were there so it was not 'just' a meal after. Think Brighton registry office, photos on pier, stay in nice hotel, play on beach, train home. Or Edinburgh, Oxford, London (registry then tea at the Ritz). Find some random witnesses off the internet Grin

Marne · 12/01/2012 11:40

We had a small wedding, dh had been maried before, we were skint and didn't want the hastle and stress of a big wedding. My dress was an ex rental dress and cost £100, i made my own cake, we got married in a reg office (a nice one), my dad did the photos and we had 20 guests to a finger buffet in a pub afterwards, in the evening dh and i went out for a meal on our own and we had no honeymoon. The whole day probably cost £300 Grin, my dad payed for the reg office and my lovely nan payed for the food (as our wedding gift).

MotherPanda · 12/01/2012 11:40

Cake is yummy -of course you need cake! but you could take it to the restaurant maybe and have it after the meal, which is a lovely idea.

You don't have to have a honeymoon - but maybe a weekend away/ day out would be nice?

Me and my husband went to Marwell Zoo for our 'honeymoon' and we did stay at the hotel.

we got a photography graduate to come and take pictures of our reception - maybe call a local college and see if they have any media/photography students who would like some work experience, and just tell them to click click click all day. I have lots of lovely snaps, and I didn't notice them taking pictures, I was busy paying attention to my Husband :)

Maybe you should try going out before the wedding too - my dh went to the pub with male relatives/friends and I went to the nail bar with my sisters (you could go with friends) and had a good natter and manicure. then we went out for chocolate cake. Those were our stag and hen dos :)

Have a lovely day!

NotMostPeople · 12/01/2012 11:43

We had no photographs, no cake, no bridesmaids/ushers or speeches - it was second time for both of u.s and it didn't feel right to have a whole palava again.

We met up in a swanky French bistro for breakfast walked down the road to the register office (dd1 in buggy), after the ceremony we went to another bar. We had an upstairs smaller bar area to ourselves. The bar did food, but it was more like bar snacks then a sit down meal - we paid for this and put an amount behind the bar for drinks that didn't run out. Everyone had a great time there were a number of friends who went home together that night having never met before!

It was right for us at the time, however we both wish we'd had more of an event now.

Original poster
Dillinger · 12/01/2012 12:01

Yes I think thats the thing - I dont want a lot of fuss however I dont want to look back and think 'I wish we'd done this/that.' We live in Bath so the registry office is nice and there are lots of places around that would make for good photo opportunities. I think we wouldnt mind paying for good photos - I hate having my photo taken etc Blush

The thing is when you start thinking 'oh yes we'll get this photographer' my ideas of a very small do and not so much fuss dont seem 'enough' to justify the pics. I mean a photographer wont get nice 'getting ready' shots of us in my tiny council house will they? (No offence here but you get me - its not a stately home is it.) Same with a dress and hair etc and then the cost just mounts up.

I think my friend (witness 1) may babysit so Dp and I could go out that night so thats an idea, I dont think Im too worried about doing too much, my main concern is looking crap in photos.

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Ragwort · 12/01/2012 12:07

We had a very small wedding - three witnesses in registry office, nice lunch afterwards with champagne and (homemade) wedding cake in a very nice restaurant (paid for ourselves of course) - my parents joined us for the lunch but not at the registry office. The guests took photos - all very nice Smile but obviously not 'professional' but that doesn't bother me at all. We did have a honeymoon. I just wore a nice day dress, not expensive.

I would thoroughly recommond it (especially after watching some of the Bridezilla programmes on TV and reading the threads on here Grin) - no angst about hen weekends, who to invite, gift list, seating plans etc etc etc !! Still married 23 years later.

Catsdontcare · 12/01/2012 12:10

Yes it was just me, dh, the celebrant, photographer and two witnesses who we literally grabbed off the street. I'm glad we had a pro photographer as it is lovely to have really nice pictures of the day.

We went for a really nice meal after and then honeymoon

Original poster
Dillinger · 12/01/2012 12:10

Thankyou Ragwort. I think Ive got it into my head that only a professional photographer can make me look half decent Blush Maybe we could just spend out a bit on that so I dont have to worry about posing etc, have some photos taken in one of the parks in Bath and then a small party or a tea at home afterwards.

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Original poster
Dillinger · 12/01/2012 12:15

Sorry x posts Cats. Yours sounds like the kind of thing Im after re.the ceremony and photographer. I guess I can choose closer to the time re. going for a meal or whatnot.

Christ Im anxious, remembering now why Ive put it off for so long! Grin

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spiffysquiffyspiggy · 12/01/2012 12:46

Got married in Nov. Me, DH, 3DCs, my mate and her boyfriend, his mate and wife at local registry office. Went to our favourite restaurant afterwards then on to local pub with roaring open fire. Clothes were new but nothing very fancy. I don't do photos so there are only a couple- the best ones are when we let DS1 take some.

Only a few people knew about it (most of them from MN Grin) and we told parents after we'd summoned up the courage the event. I'd do it like that again- it really was a lovely day.

Original poster
Dillinger · 13/01/2012 10:24

Sounds nice Spiffy.

Wedding is booked! May 2nd eeek as this is our 10 year anniversary. Found a photographer I like the look of, will be making an appointment to see him. My friend (Witness 1) said she had a choc cake from waitrose so will look into that.

I wanted to ask what you all did about your hair? Im not worried about doing my own makeup but Ive never been able to do various hairstyles etc and I hate going to the hairdresser! I do the curly girl method (no shampoo etc) as I have wavy hair so thought I might do a wavy low side ponytail, thinking if I bought some nice hair accessories this would be enough? Any thoughts most appreciated! Have I forgotten anything? Sorting rings next month

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spiffysquiffyspiggy · 13/01/2012 12:03

Ooh lovely Smile. I have a hairdresser phobia as well! I just bought some nice hair clips to tame mine. I figured I just wanted to be comfortable and "me" rather than immaculately groomed as I'd end up feeling awkward through the day otherwise. Plus DH might not have recognised me Grin and the baby would have just pull my hair about anyway. We both have 2nd hand rings as the new one I liked in the shops couldn't be ordered in time and was hideously expensive anyway

We had birthday cake as our wedding cake as we married on my birthday. DH jokes that he'll only get into trouble once a year for forgetting an important date. well he jokes about it now. If he ever does he'll not be laughing...Grin

Closer to the date will be deciding how you get there (taxi for us). We told the restaurant it was our wedding so they had a few deorations up. We also arranged to take our own champagne so we weren't paying extortionate prices.

Congratulations- hope you have a lovely day.

Original poster
Dillinger · 13/01/2012 12:29

We'll be having a taxi too Grin Im with you on the hair - Id feel really daft with 'proper' wedding hair Blush

Ive been thinking about what I could wear - I want something a bit more special than Id usually wear but I really dont want to spend too much, nor do I want anything that I couldnt wear again. I cant see much I like, I ordered a dress yesterday, it arrived today and I tried it on but its too see-through and Im not happy with the colour and it seemed to have far too much material, could easily have gone down a size.

Anyone recommend some high-street stores that may be worth a look? Its been ages since Ive been shopping and even then I only really go in Topshop Blush

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spiffysquiffyspiggy · 13/01/2012 13:35

Are you me? I don't do clothes shopping either. As we only had a short time to get prepared me and DH hit the shops together and bought everything in about 3hrs flat. How much are you looking to spend? I ended up with a dress from House of Fraser, which has since had an outing at the office christmas do. It was smart and dressy but not frilly or OTT plus gave me a small waist and HUGE boobs Grin. I think it was about £60. I tried Monsoon, Debenhams, Next, erm can't remember where else. I've had some nice dresses from monsoon for special occasions before, but this time they din't have anything that felt right. DH just got a new pair of trousers and a really lurid 70s style shirt that he fell in love with. He doesn't do ties and suits and he wanted to feel comfortable as well as smart.

GlaikitFizzog · 13/01/2012 13:42

Coast, Monsoon, Debemhams and John Lewis would do "dressy up" clothes. I love monsoon myself. Whats your budget, size, colouring? Maybe worth

Re your photographer, if you are worried about cost, could you contact your local college to see if any photography students would do then for their portfolio? Maybe for a smaller fee?

Original poster
Dillinger · 13/01/2012 13:47

Could well be I want to spend as little as poss. Dp got some nice jeans for xmas so think he'll wear those and get a new shirt, same with ds. I dont want to wear anything that isnt 'me' and I rarely wear dresses as it is! Id like something a bit different - Ive got facial piercings and purple/red hair so dont want to really go for 'smart' or whatever if you get me. Ive seen lots of links for websites that sell 50's style but Im not into such full skirts either, I dont really do that look.

Im 5' 3", size 10 and teeny of norkage Grin

Bloody hell I am NOT enjoying this! Blush

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Original poster
Dillinger · 13/01/2012 13:54

I dont know if I should go for something a bit 'tea-dressy' or more of a structured pencil-skirt kinda thing. I know its up to me but still.... they dont feel like 'enough' even though Im really not for the whole shebang

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mousyMouse · 13/01/2012 13:58

dh and I, my parents as witnesses.
lunch at wagamamas afterwards, concert (proms) in the evening. no cake whatsoever, a nice quiet day.

Kendodd · 13/01/2012 13:59

Blood hell, just typed out a whole page only to have it vanish!!

Shortened version-

RO wedding, lovely meal in the nicest restaurant you know, ask witnesses to bring cameras and snap away for you.

Have a lovely time and best wishes for the future.

If you need a witness I'm freeGrin

GlaikitFizzog · 13/01/2012 14:02

What about a 50's pencil style dress? Like this or this last one

Thats just the first website I looked at. I'll be back

OneLieIn · 13/01/2012 14:04

Tiny wedding, the two of us and two witnesses, our friends.

Fab lunch, fab hotel and fab night. Perfect.

Wore a suit which was pretty cheap.

Original poster
Dillinger · 13/01/2012 14:07

Thanks Kendodd I'll remember that Grin Good idea about the photos.

Ive looked at that website Glaikit, Im not keen sorry. Bit too much I think (I mean the style is a bit much.)

Its gonna be jeans at this rate, Im awful at this Grin

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Original poster
Dillinger · 13/01/2012 14:08

What about a shift dress? Or is that not enough? I cant do links but theres a mustard one in Topshop Blush that may be nice with black tights and shoes.

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Original poster
Dillinger · 13/01/2012 14:10

OneLieIn - sounds lovely. Once I figure out what Im wearing (aarrgh theres the kids to dress too) then I can relax Grin

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