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Original poster

Did you have a small wedding? (And I mean TINY) Please share with me

109 replies

Dillinger · 12/01/2012 11:24

Ok Dp and I have been together for almost 10 years, have 2 children (6 and 4). We want to get married but really dont like the whole centre of attention thing so want to do it as small and quiet as possible but I need some ideas of how to make things special too.

It will be at the registry office, but Im pretty sure Im not bothered about cars, clothes, bridesmaids etc etc My family wouldnt come (they live miles away and dont visit - Im on the stately homes thread) and its the same for Dp's family. We have a few 'fairweather' friends so wouldnt want to invite them anyway, it would literally be Dp and I, 2 witnesses and the children.

I was thinking we could go for a meal afterwards as a small group but dont really know what else/if anything. We wouldnt be having a honeymoon. I think we would need photos but I HATE having to stand there smiling so think Id prefer the kind of photos where it looks like they were taken in secret, if you get me. Ive no idea how to sort this

Any ideas would be much appreciated!

OP posts:

Original poster

Dillinger · 13/01/2012 16:35

You lot are being so so awesome Im really touched. Ive been feeling pretty anxious but now Im more excited

I do have a black round neck cardi so can always grab that - thankyou Teds

I'll get that dress ordered and we'll see!

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CupOfBrownJoy · 13/01/2012 16:54

DP and I are getting married in July at my local registry office (which luckily is quite nice). 16 at the ceremony, then a minibus for the lot of us to a little country house restaurant with a few rooms out in the sticks, about 20 mins away. We originally wanted to decamp to the pub, but DM nearly dropped a kitten. We'll have a few photos there, taken by a friend, then a long boozy lunch.

DP and I are staying that night at the country house place. I'm hoping everyone buzzes off from lunch by 5 at the latest, then we have the evening to ourselves

I can't wait....

oh and I totally wasn't going to do the wedding dress thing until I was persuaded into trying some on...

spiffysquiffyspiggy · 14/01/2012 10:06

glad you are getting excited We ended up being very excited because it was so small. It it had been a big do we would have been too nervous. One of our friends said that it might not have been conventional but it was very "us" and that was exactly what I wanted. We were getting married to each other not to suited/white dressed, perfectly made up models.

Have put a couple of photo on my profile (you can see what I mean about not doing photos ) The other thing we did was have the day after our wedding as our honeymoon. It was just the 2 of us and we went out for lunch and just relaxed. Doesn't sound much but with 3 kids under 5 and being in the middle of doing up a house it felt like a really indulgent day

Hope you have a fab day.

Original poster

Dillinger · 15/01/2012 10:23

Thankyou Spiffy I agree with you. Your photos are lovely, and thats a good idea about having the day after to yourselves, ds will be at school at dd at nursery for the morning so maybe we could go out for a fancy breakfast

OP posts:

sashh · 17/01/2012 06:34

I know a couple of people who got married with just the two witnesses. One couple went straight to the airport the other had a meal with just the witnesses.

I've never been to Bath so don't know the ethnic mix - here in Wolves you could get a punjabi suit / Salwa Kamese, either just buy one or buy the material and have one made - can be really stylish, although some a quite gaudy

www.sareez.com/products_new.php?categories_id=145&sort=4d&filter_id=&ipp=64

santaslilhelper · 20/01/2012 10:22

You should definitely go for reportage photography, it's about documenting the day and all the special moments, it doesn't matter where they are taken. Not sure if you have found a photographer yet (not had time to read whole thread) but I can highly recommend the one we had at our wedding last year. www.markcareyphotography.com/

mamaLou13 · 20/01/2012 21:12

we want a tiny wedding just us two and dd. not sure where we will find the witnesses though!...?!

madaboutmadmen · 20/01/2012 21:17

we buggered off abroad and didn't tell anyone, found two witnesses. Bingo! i can't stand the whole centre of attention thing either.

startail · 20/01/2012 21:43

DF got married in her childhood registry office (happens to be in a pretty bit of Cornwall) she just wore normal summer clothes. Dad, brother (Mum died when she was little), her DH is much older and doesn't have any family, some friends from work, me and my DH who know her from uni and my DDs. Less than 20 people.
Scones, tea and cake back at her dads and a meal out in a local restaurant that evening.
No wedding cars, no official photos no fuss and the only real expense was her new DH ( DP of 20+ years) bought the meal.
It was lovely, fuss and dressing up would just not have been them even if DD2 said it wasn't a proper wedding because the bride didn't wear a dress.

Original poster

Dillinger · 23/01/2012 11:00

Hello

Well I tried that dress but didnt like it, so will be on the lookout.

Anyway I wanted to ask about witnesses - witness 1 that I mentioned before now cant make it, which is fine really as I was getting quite anxious about the whole thing, in front of friends etc and it also emphasized the fact that I wont be having family there etc etc (long story). Im fine with having our friends round afterwards though, we'll party and I'll be much more relaxed.

So - those of you that found your witnesses - how easy was that? I think the photographer would be one, so just need one other. Are registry office staff able to help out?

Thanks everyone

OP posts:

GlaikitFizzog · 23/01/2012 11:11

Appeal on here. There was a thread once Robinio I think it's in classics. Oh oh oh you have to, we'll all watch for updates and photos!!

GlaikitFizzog · 23/01/2012 11:17

Here's the thread in classics

Shame about the dress, is there anything else out there thats caught your eye? DS has a cold and being a demanding little blighter today, but I can have a squizz around later and post some ideas for you.

purplefairies · 23/01/2012 11:23

We had 12 people at our wedding in total. It was fab! DH and I hate parties and it meant we could just have our idea of a lovely day: civil ceremony and then really nice meal for all of us. We could really splash out on the food (and lots of nice wine) with so few guests, which was nice :)

We also had reportage photography (I live abroad so can't recommend anyone UK-based, but I know there are plenty out there) and the photos the photographer took are amazing. It really captured the actual spirit of the day and lots of little details I wouldn't have noticed normally. MIL still moans that we don't have a "real" wedding photo but we are happy :)

Original poster

Dillinger · 23/01/2012 11:25

I got another dress the other day but I dont want to say it on here

Thats a good idea - appealing on here but my god Im a nervous wreck enough as it is, and what if the witness is better dressed than me?

OP posts:

Original poster

Dillinger · 23/01/2012 11:39

That thread is great, thanks for the link!

Its definitely an option isnt it

OP posts:

Original poster

Dillinger · 23/01/2012 12:10

Right, registry deffo cant help us there which is a shame but at least I know Ive got to get thinking. This is a pain, Ive literally no-one to ask. Really dont fancy trying to grab people off the street

OP posts:

GlaikitFizzog · 23/01/2012 12:38

I would do it but you nor exactly local to me! Its test like this that mumsnet comes it to its own. When is the wedding again?

GlaikitFizzog · 23/01/2012 12:40

Sorry o. phone. hope you get the general idea of post above!

Original poster

Dillinger · 23/01/2012 12:47

Ahh you're nice Its not until may 2nd but I shall worry now until then! Im an awful worrier, unfortunately. Dp will prob mention his parents, but thats what we didnt want and like Ive mentioned it emphasizes the fact that my family arent there Flippin hell

OP posts:

GlaikitFizzog · 23/01/2012 12:55

Just tell DH2B that you have it sorted before he gets any ideas. Express how much his parents being there but not yours would upset you. You've got plenty of time to arrange something. If the worst comes to the worst is there a police station near the registery office? I used to work in Police HQ in my home town that was next door to the registrars on more than one occasion a couple came in and "borrowed" a couple of officers or support staff to be witnesses. They did prefer to have those in uniform for the photos!! Fret not, you will find someone!

I am very intriguied about your dress now too! But I will wait until May!!

lynniep · 23/01/2012 13:00

We had a small wedding, but not 'tiny'. I had four guests (parents and sister & her dh) and DH had 10. No friends were there, only 'friends of the family i.e. oldies that DH's mum insisted came.
We didnt want to spend 'much' but I wanted something really special, so we held it at a castle in Dumfries (accessible to the rellies) and stayed there for one night.
We had it on a Tuesday, which reduced the costs considerably, as did having it in January, and we didnt have any entertainment, just a bar that was accessible to all. The venue provided everything we needed- a piper (I didnt want a piper but he was included!) - a choice of meals, and drinks, and I made my own cake (ok, I assembled my own cake - I bought it from m&s) and my bouquet (they were fake, but I liked it!) and bought my dress/veil/tiara from ebay fro 50 quid. DH got a new suit which he wears for interviews etc so he's had more use out of it. I spent 500 quid though on a photographer because I couldnt find an alternative/a cheaper option (at the time)

Original poster

Dillinger · 23/01/2012 13:02

Oh dont get your hopes up, its not a 'fancy' dress but it is more me

Ive explained all that to Dp, he just wants things to be sorted for me as he knows what Im like with anxiety etc. If I can get things sorted then I can just forget about it all til then

I guess the police station isnt too far from the reg office, will send Dp running there then if I have to!

OP posts:

arseyes · 23/01/2012 13:22

We did exactly this last year for similar reasons. I did end up inviting a couple of people beforehand to act as witnesses as the worry of pulling people off the street on the day was driving me mad

We had a brilliant day, totally stress-free. We booked a little room at a pub so we had somewhere to go afterwards. They laid out a big cheese board and cider for a mini 'reception'

I have an idea for a photographer, will PM ya

TapselteerieO · 23/01/2012 13:24

You could have a secret wedding.

IslaMann · 30/01/2012 12:53

Dillinger Im in Bristol, if you'd like a mn witness Ill happily do it. I love a trip to Bath.

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