Hosting and warning non-vegans

[veganhost]

We are just about to move into a big enough home in a desirable area where it’ll be easy to have people stay overnight. We are looking forward to welcoming visitors, including on a ’hotel style’ basis, ie feel free to crash at ours but do what you want otherwise.

Now, since we’ve welcomed quite a few people to come and stay, not everyone is super aware of our belief and I feel that we need to warn people that we do not want any non-vegan food in our home. Some vegans don’t have any issues with this, but we do, and won’t change our minds. We are really not interested in discussing this or ’negotiating’, so to speak. I feel that we need to warn people about this so that they know before they come (and if they don’t want to come if they can’t have cow’s milk with their cereal eg, ok!).

How do we do this in the best way? I’ve thought of just mentioning it casually in an e-mail – is it then better as soon as a visit is discussed, or once dates have been set? Any suggestions on how to word this in a friendly but firm way would be much appreciated! I don’t really want to explain it, just state it, to avoid the risk of being told that we’re silly eg, but maybe a casual mention won't be noticed…

I wonder if any other vegan has personal experience of a similar situation, or if any non-vegan have a view on what they think. Any suggestions on how to best convey this in a nice but ’final’ way would be welcome!

Thanks for any thoughts 😊

No extra fridges. It's not a guesthouse, so there won't be a room that is only used for guests. And we don't want cow's milk in our home anyway. Unless someone brings a calf to visit and their mum, then it'd be fine. For the calf.

Jesus.

🙄That’s really not the gotcha that you think it is. Are people really this thick?

😊

Where do you draw the line , they may have leather shoes and bring in non vegan beer or wine ?

I think it depends on whether you would be offended if it was the other way round.

we don’t eat UPF for health reasons, I also believe that veganism is fundamentally unhealthy, especially for children. Plus I react to a couple of the additive commonly found in vegan food.

we do have a couple of vegan friends (who thankfully stopped the diet for their children when they weren’t growing), but we just have vegetable/legume based food when they come round, which I’m more than happy to eat for a meal or two. But we’d struggle for breakfast - we wouldn’t eat non dairy spread for toast, non-dairy milk for cereal etc.

what would be your opinion if I told you that you couldn’t bring dairy/meat subs into my house?

ultimately, it’s your house, your rules. We probably wouldn’t stay with you though.

Most people have ‘vegan’ food in their house though. I’m not vegan, but a vegan could open my fridge or kitchen cupboards at any time and make themselves a nutritious, tasty meal without any head-scratching.

Way to miss the point.

I think someone is unlikely to be allergic to all vegan products.

I love meat, this would not bother me at all. It’s your house you’ve been gracious enough to let me stay out. I’ll grab a burger when I go out for lunch, it’s really not a big deal.

I would feel extremely weird cooking meat in a vegans house. Veganism is a way of life and a set of moral values, I wouldn’t ask you to compromise these for me because you’ve allowed me to stay at your home, for free, while I visit the city.

In terms of young children and milk on cereal etc, our LO’s nursery room and I’m sure many others are milk free due to allergies, so I don’t think giving young kids oat milk is unusual at all these days.

I don’t think it’s a difficult request at all, especially for a couple of days. If people can’t cope they can make other choices.

In answer to my point, if vegans came to my house, would they object to me having eggs, meat and all other non vegan stuff in it? I don't know any vegans

Vegan children not growing you say. 🤡

Some may, and presumably if they did, they wouldn’t stay with you.

I think you might need some kind of fact sheet of the rules that you could provide on request.

Without being explicitly told, I would assume you just meant that any meals served would be vegan. It wouldn’t occur to me e.g. don’t bring croissants because they contain butter. It just wouldn’t occur to me, because I am not vegan.

Personally I wouldn’t mind complying, but would want to know if it just applied to food and drink. I would assume not to wear a leather jacket, but then would start to wonder about shoes and belt, jumper etc.

And I would definitely need to be reminded eg don’t turn up with half a latte that you were drinking on the journey, check your handbag in case it contains gummy bears etc.

I'd be ok with it in principle as I don't like meat and can easily manage without dairy cheese etc for a while. My biggest worry would be gluten as I have to avoid it strictly and it's in things like oat milk and even things like dried lentils are an issue if they are not the right brands. But to be fair I worry about staying anywhere now.

Shit, I’ll have to disconnect my water and throw my bag of apples away.

I'm not vegan or vegetarian but I'd be fine with this. Anyone who wouldn't be is a bit of a knob tbh so they'd be welcome to stay elsewhere.

If I'm desperate for meat or dairy, I can get it when out but I think I'd survive.

I would struggle more if you said no leather but would still respect it and have a couple of vegan bags.

Indeed I'd not even think about say croissants. Or beer or a snack bar.

It would probably be much easier to not stay and avoid any issues. Particularly if I was staying "just to see London" - so not a close family visit (as one assumes family already know all this).

'y I don't think it'll be an issue most of the time! But we would not want to heat up a non-vegan meal in our oven/microwave oven or use our plates, so we're stricter than you on that :'

It was only my son and he wasn't allowed use of the oven or microwave. Only the saucepan and his own plate, cutlery, knifes and utensils!

I think he only uses them all twice.

Just one more thing - my kids would be fine with vegan in the home, but would you object to certain conversations or would you find them too much?

Eg "mum can I have a glass of milk with my toast?"
"Hosts don't drink animal milk, so you can either try almond milk or have juice/water and then if you still fancy it we will get milk or a hot chocolate at a cafe later"

This wouldn't be meant as implied criticism or passive aggressiveness and I wouldn't discuss when I would next eat meat etc outside your home as an adult, but I can see myself being much more upfront about it with kids.

Then equally they are welcome to not visit and I'd respect that. It's not the same at all.

I wouldn't rid my home of everything non vegan in that situation. I would make an effort to serve vegan meals and get their favourite non dairy milk etc in.

Yes warn them but I would suggest you are a bit flexible if it's children coming, cows milk is more nutritious than substitutes, you can't expect a child to just adapt like adults can.

I personally wouldn't dream of insisting you drink cows milk and would get in your choice of substitute, surely it's no different in reverse. Meat is different, people can eat out if they want meat.

Anyone refusing to have any vegan food in their vicinity is likely to be dead from malnutrition so not likely to be an issue.

And no it's not fair to only go to veggie places if you are eating out with them, yes make sure the restaurant has decent options for you, most do these days, but dictating what others eat out of the house is ridiculous