Page 8 | What is going on with (some) kids?!

ExtraHotDoubleShot · 08/10/2026 18:41

thatisenough · 08/10/2026 18:41

Mine did as babies. They did not as toddlers and spent most of the time frantically straining and sometimes screaming to be free.

Yes at that point I used reins.

Charder · 08/10/2026 18:48

There must be a very similar thread. The one I saw was much more in line with what @c152said. It was a family iPad, wasn’t WhatsApp and the parent was monitoring and she explained repeatedly why she had let her child use it on this occasion.

Charder · 08/10/2026 18:54

Sorry forgot to quote post.

@MargoLeadbetterisQueenit’s quite cruel dismiss the evidence and research and downplay the impacts on children who have been affected by covid infections. Don’t do that please.

sausageth · 08/10/2026 19:00

I left teaching last year. I still work in schools and I've noticed that there is a decline in children's ability to speak properly. So many year 1/year 2 pupils can barely string sentences together; they sound like babies.

10kandnotcounting · 08/10/2026 19:00

Ladybird111 · 08/10/2026 18:25

I think the main goal of many parents today is for their child to never feel or experience anything negative, difficult, or uncomfortable. There seems to be a modern responsibility placed on parents to protect their child from any unpleasant feelings otherwise it will harm their self-esteem. Whereas in years past the goal of most parents was to do what was necessary to raise children who could become functioning adult members of society who understand there are expectations on them.

Examples I’ve seen on mumsnet or IRL

Why should my child have to conform to this school uniform expectation
My child was being disruptive in class and was put in a timeout, this consequence has upset or “damaged” my child so I’m going to contact the teacher
How can I help my child get around the rules on phones in their school
I can’t take my child to the supermarket they get bored and act out so we avoid it
My child gets anxious before PE, how can I remove them from the situation rather than using it as an opportunity to build resilience and teach them they can do hard things
There was a post recently where despite a child physically hurting other children many posters believed he should not be excluded from a birthday party. Some people believed this one child’s self-esteem and feelings were more important than other children’s safety
Preventing boredom - constant activities, stimulation, screens, entertainment because being bored is seen as a negative thing despite the fact it used to be quite normal for kids to be bored and be forced to create their own fun

Many children are being set up to fail because they are subconsciously developing the belief they should never ever suffer any negative emotion, they should never have to do anything they don’t want to do and they should never not get their own way. Negative emotions are to be avoided at all costs - it would be better for a child to have no idea how to function in society than to feel anything negative like embarrassment, shame or sadness. Despite the fact that some behaviours do warrant these feelings. Their resilience becomes lacking and their ability to engage with difficult situations or people becomes non-existent. They simply won’t be able to cope with being told no, being told to share, being told they have to behave in a certain ways, etc. And because they can’t cope they lash out and behaviours appear extreme. In summary, it’s not the children’s fault - it’s certain styles of modern parenting.

This.

Child is expected to share: no the child is more important than others, so they should not have to share.
Child doesn’t get what they want: their mental health is negatively affected.
Child is not invited to something: they are being bullied or excluded. Everyone is mean.

You see the threads on here..

AIBU to bring my husband and 3 children to the 5th birthday party my dc is invited to?
AIBU to grab and hog all the toys during swimming session and tell my toddler they don't have to share

It's all about me, myself and I for everyone.

xye · 08/10/2026 19:05

sausageth · 08/10/2026 19:00

I left teaching last year. I still work in schools and I've noticed that there is a decline in children's ability to speak properly. So many year 1/year 2 pupils can barely string sentences together; they sound like babies.

Some parents just don’t talk to their babies and children. It’s so bad.

thatisenough · 08/10/2026 19:08

ExtraHotDoubleShot · 08/10/2026 18:41

Yes at that point I used reins.

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@ExtraHotDoubleShot which neither of mine would tolerate, and weren’t needed as they wouldn’t have run away. But this is where the thread is just a pile on where you and others clap one another on the back that you were Good Parents who didn’t use phones and complain loudly and repeatedly about Bad Parents who do.

If I needed a buggy, as I didn’t drive, and I didn’t want them screaming on buses or as I walked around, then I can quite see why parents get a bit desperate, and I’m saying that as someone who hates children being given devices.

Dollymylove · 08/10/2026 19:15

A bloody good hiding would nip this behaviour in the bud. But thats neither legal anymore so these feral brats know they can do what they want with no consequences

Ill get my coat

xye · 08/10/2026 19:15

thatisenough · 08/10/2026 19:08

@ExtraHotDoubleShot which neither of mine would tolerate, and weren’t needed as they wouldn’t have run away. But this is where the thread is just a pile on where you and others clap one another on the back that you were Good Parents who didn’t use phones and complain loudly and repeatedly about Bad Parents who do.

If I needed a buggy, as I didn’t drive, and I didn’t want them screaming on buses or as I walked around, then I can quite see why parents get a bit desperate, and I’m saying that as someone who hates children being given devices.

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“If I needed a buggy, as I didn’t drive, and I didn’t want them screaming on buses”

You teach your child how to behave in public so they are not screaming on buses. Children were used to what was expected of them in terms of their behaviour.

ExtraHotDoubleShot · 08/10/2026 19:16

Dollymylove · 08/10/2026 19:15

A bloody good hiding would nip this behaviour in the bud. But thats neither legal anymore so these feral brats know they can do what they want with no consequences

Ill get my coat

I’ve never smacked my kids but there’s no ‘ultimate consequence’ in the way there used to be when I was a child. Parents are seen as cuddly facilitators now, they’re not respected.

TheBlueKoala · 08/10/2026 19:18

10kandnotcounting · 08/10/2026 07:36

Children are exposed to violent or age inappropriate games from a very young age.

Games and short form videos provide constant instant gratification.

Less free independent play, parents intervening in everything, dc not able to solve problems for themselves with their friends.

Parents shield their children from any minor inconvenience, disappointment or unfairness, rather than allowing them to experience and work through it.

Society has changed from being adult centred to child centred. While well intentioned, children now have fewer opportunities to develop self discipline, resilience and the ability to cope with normal disappointment and difficulties in life. Normal sadness or struggle is instantly labelled a mental-health problem.

A small example of how things have changed, years ago, if a child on a bike or scooter was approaching an elderly person, the child would be expected to slow down, wait or give way. Now, it's the other way around. Parents look at their children as the absolute adored centre the universe and have gone from teaching children how to fit into society to expecting society to revolve around children.

Just how these kids will adult one day is anyone's guess. Perhaps they’ll end up having relationships with AI instead of real people, so they never have to deal with rejection, disagreement or the inconvenience of having a flawed, fallible real life partner.

I think you got some valid points but I don't agree with this:
parents intervening in everything
I think parents don't intervene enough and let their kids behave badly. The "worst" kids I know have lazy parents who don't give a shit.

Nofeckingway · 08/10/2026 19:21

Think it is also time poor parents as well. The skills such as table manners , potty training are time consuming to teach and reinforce. So much easier to allow kids to eat finger foods or keep in nappies . Low expectations too . A recent thread was about kids not being able to sit through a restaurant meal . What do you think people did previously? I am not that old but had to sit and eat properly at a table , sit through boring church services and my kids did too . I did bring books sometimes.
Nobody wants to go back to the bad old days when children were seen and not heard but the pendulum has swung too much the other way .

xye · 08/10/2026 19:23

TheBlueKoala · 08/10/2026 19:18

I think you got some valid points but I don't agree with this:
parents intervening in everything
I think parents don't intervene enough and let their kids behave badly. The "worst" kids I know have lazy parents who don't give a shit.

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I agree. Parenting is HARD, and you have to work at it, which so many parents just can’t be bothered to do.

Betterversionofme · 08/10/2026 19:24

sausageth · 08/10/2026 19:00

I left teaching last year. I still work in schools and I've noticed that there is a decline in children's ability to speak properly. So many year 1/year 2 pupils can barely string sentences together; they sound like babies.

😯 Shocking

Spikedlight · 08/10/2026 19:24

Purpleturtle45 · 08/10/2026 06:35

I have been a primary school teacher for 20 years and I just cannot believe the decline in behaviour and attainment In that time!

Yesterday I witnessed a 6 year old kick, spit at, punch and threaten to kill the DHT and ultimately trash the room and the staff are powerless to stop it as they aren't allowed to touch a child. This is a daily occurrence.

So many children are disrespectful and will argue back to your face now and a lot of the parents are just accepting of this! I honestly fear for the world if this is what the kids are like!

Every teacher I know is looking to leave, they are being driven to breaking point every day! It's all so worrying.

Staff absolutely are allowed to touch a child in those circumstances, on that basis I'm not sure how you can possibly be a teacher.

Behaviour is definitely getting more challenging but if that's happening daily in a mainstream primary school, there's something very wrong with the way the school is being run.

xye · 08/10/2026 19:24

@Nofeckingway “Think it is also time poor parents as well”

That’s been the case for a very long time. Parents now have more distractions, and put their own needs before their children.

2chocolateoranges · 08/10/2026 19:25

I work with 3-5 year olds and you would be amazed at how many parents don’t use the word “NO” to their children and then ask us not to use it either!

they don’t want to upset their children and they don’t want to talk negatively to their child!

Drives me insane at times listening to parents demands at times.

JacknDiane · 08/10/2026 19:25

There's no consequences for bad behaviour now, kids and parents alike.

Bananacrepewithnuts · 08/10/2026 19:26

Forton26 · 08/10/2026 07:08

30 years of working with children and young people plus families and i agree :

Excessive unmonitored screen use. Seeing things they shouldn’t at very young ages, far too long zoning out, playing games they shouldn’t or watching videos too old for them.

Never actually played with or shown how to play, social skills, sharing, communication. Lack of good communication skills can go a long way to destructive behaviour as child is frustrated.

Diet: not enough nutrients, lots of junk.

Sedentary life styles. Not enough physical activities from a very young age. To burn off energy etc.

Nothing interests them because of said screen use, quick scrolling and dopamine hits. Can’t use imagination on their own or to play on their own or with others so they quickly become destructive

Parenting styles, limited boundaries, rules. Some parents let their kids do what they want.

Some children are getting labelled with ADHD when it’s obvious behavioural and now they are at an age they can’t control them. There must be something else.

(I absolutely recognise SEN children, unrecognised SEN, masking, social difficulties and meltdowns etc and this is not about those).

Well said. Thank you.

TheBlueKoala · 08/10/2026 19:27

ExtraHotDoubleShot · 08/10/2026 08:33

It’s the babies not at nursery that seem to get the junk food and screen time.

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Some perhaps. But those who actively chose to be sahp probably did because they wanted the best for their children; home cooked meals, plenty of outside play, stimulating their child in all ways possible while bringing them up in a loving environment.

BiteSizeByzantine · 08/10/2026 19:27

Stopping afternoon play in primary school was a shit idea too

thatisenough · 08/10/2026 19:28

xye · 08/10/2026 19:15

“If I needed a buggy, as I didn’t drive, and I didn’t want them screaming on buses”

You teach your child how to behave in public so they are not screaming on buses. Children were used to what was expected of them in terms of their behaviour.

Show quote history

Haha yeah kids aged around 1-3 are so receptive to that

I would really like to know how you would stop a child aged eighteen months or so screaming in a buggy. Asking you specifically here, what would you do? Answer seems to be beat the shit out of them judging by half these answers, and then you judge other parents?!

HB1625 · 08/10/2026 19:32

FlowerVases · 08/10/2026 06:44

As a mum of an autism child verbal high IQ doing quite well after a change of school I can assure you not all children are doing this on purpuse.
Do you know how much you have to fight to get any help? Even if your child has a diagnosis. Which you also have to fight for or pay for.

That said I have quitted my job for NHS. The abuse of staff is extraordinarily high since Covid. No thank. I won't do it.

Do you not think that your fight to get any help is made worse because of all the people so desperate to get a diagnosis (and for some, they do it to get more money - yes, it happens!) They are diluting the services available to you, that's already stretched to the max. There has been a considerable upturn in diagnoses, and a considerable amount of those cases are either shit parents or kids who have no boundaries and have never been told no.

xye · 08/10/2026 19:33

thatisenough · 08/10/2026 19:28

Haha yeah kids aged around 1-3 are so receptive to that

I would really like to know how you would stop a child aged eighteen months or so screaming in a buggy. Asking you specifically here, what would you do? Answer seems to be beat the shit out of them judging by half these answers, and then you judge other parents?!

Show quote history

I would distract and engage with them. I would get them out of the buggy if I wasn’t in a hurry.

Eloise2398545 · 08/10/2026 19:36

I have two kids at primary school and I don’t recognise what you describe. My year 3 lost her breaktime last week for talking in class and she was mortified. Her school are tough on behaviour and it shows. Some parents say it’s old fashioned but I think it’s exactly what kids need.

The screen time issue is the other way round - the school push out a lot of homework on Google classroom and parents are reluctant to do it because it means putting them in front of an iPad. We’ve asked the school to give paper based homework but they say they can’t afford it.

My kids don’t have access to small screens except in specific circumstances like being on a long flight. They are allowed some tv but only iPlayer and absolutely no YouTube or TikTok.