What is going on with (some) kids?!

[Purpleturtle45]

I have been a primary school teacher for 20 years and I just cannot believe the decline in behaviour and attainment In that time!

Yesterday I witnessed a 6 year old kick, spit at, punch and threaten to kill the DHT and ultimately trash the room and the staff are powerless to stop it as they aren't allowed to touch a child. This is a daily occurrence.

So many children are disrespectful and will argue back to your face now and a lot of the parents are just accepting of this! I honestly fear for the world if this is what the kids are like!

Every teacher I know is looking to leave, they are being driven to breaking point every day! It's all so worrying.

Parents are a child ‘s first and most influential teachers They are not blameless for failing to parent their children.

Children’s behaviour is a major and growing problem in schools today. There is a teacher shortage and recruitment crisis in UK schools.

What is your solution?

I disagree with this.

Unelss the parent is blantantly watching TikToks, you don’t know what they’re doing on their phone.

I’ve pushed a stroller whilst checking bus times, or trying to call/text daddy urgently, or checking emails.

I’ve also failed to engage with my child by pushing the stroller whilst reading a book.

We all have free choice.

Many of the people who invented and lead major digital technology companies heavily restrict or completely ban their own children from using their products.

Maybe the world would be a better place without digital technology, but plenty of people would disagree.

I had this and mine was a screamer too. I just tried everything.

Snacks, sit on the floor of the bus next to buggy and sing and blow raspberries, bring a book, take them out to sit on chair. It is challenging though.

I never gave in with screens… but there’s the intense pressure for your child to keep quiet and stop screaming (especially in a confined space) and avoid embarrassment.

The person you quoted is talking about kids on screens, not the parent.

Lazy parenting: parents not educating their kids on right and wrong behaviours and/or they don't say no.

People will say that don't have time to teach them but will easily spend hours doom scrolling. Same reasons with the delayed potty training. Drives me mad

“but there’s the intense pressure for your child to keep quiet and stop screaming (especially in a confined space) and avoid embarrassment.”

Children should learn how to behave at home first, and then learn what is expected of them in public. Parents have managed this for generations.

PP was talking about 1-3 year olds though. Is she supposed to not leave her house with her child until…? It’s all well and good saying teach them at home but people need to leave their house also.

If your toddler screams at home, you need to address it if you want them to be quiet in public. Children didn’t used to scream.

Oh come on. Children have always screamed. Violence was far more accepted years ago. When I was a child, if you screamed, you'd have got a good smack. Its lazy parenting. There's no need.

“Its lazy parenting”

Yes, it is. Parenting is hard work, and if you want your child to be a functioning adult, you have to put in the effort. Nowadays, many people use any excuse to not parent.

“Children have always screamed.”

Children were taught not in previous generations.

It is hard work. My child behaves well in public, I don't need to use violence or screens or hide him away. There have been shit parents throughout time. Your generation is no better. Just a different type of shit.

“Your generation is no better. Just a different type of shit.”

How do you explain the huge increase in bad behaviour in schools? How do you explain children not knowing basic skills before starting school? Previous generations didn’t deal with this.

This a non-starter though.

A parent can do everything at home with their toddler but they still need to leave the house. You can’t be on indefinite lockdown. Public transport is essential, not like taking them to bottomless brunch.

No sorry I meant the kids watching the screen while being pushed!

How did previous generations manage to take their toddlers out in public without them screaming? Behaviour in general has got so
much worse.

Thanks, I realised after and agree with you there!

I think this is a really interesting post.

A large part of the problem imo is with schools and the education system. They're not working for the demographic they're meant to be serving... today's children.

The demands on kids have increased but their cognitive and emotional ability to meet those demands has not increased, in fact due to increased stress and screen use nowadays it may even have declined.

So to get kids to meet those demands, more and more punitive and zero tolerance approaches are required. But then you get a vicious circle where some kids (some of whom may be ND but previously wouldn't have been diagnosed) absolutely cannot meet those demands and therefore interventions become necessary, they school refuse, their parents kick off and the whole situation becomes escalated. Whereas previously they would have sat at the back of the class, ignored the lesson or slunk off. Add into the mix children with high levels of SEN who would always have had trouble coping in mainstream education without significant support and it's not surprising the whole thing is a shitshow.

I think secondary schools especially need a complete rethink. Particularly the absence of play. Children don't stop needing to play when they reach 11, and yet there is very little space within secondary schools for play and it's assumed that kids will be fine without it. Expecting kids to function as if within a work environment is not the right approach imo and just stores up problems.

Where did they learn the screaming in the first place?

You’re really asking where toddlers learned to scream? 😂

My solution is not the easy answer of 'smack kids more' or blame mothers and their need for me time. Or to just moan about how good it was back in t'day.

My solution probably looks more like collective responsibility to wean ourselves away from digital dependence, to be more present in our communities, to elect officials who invest in education, to build more, smaller schools, to invite people into our homes again, to spend more time outdoors, to take power away from big tech, to say no to social media and AI... basically to reclaim what it means to be a human living in a fucntioning society rather than just blaming other people's fecklessness.

I have children They weren't screamers.

Well, then that means no child is; then <eye roll>

@AmethystDeceiver “rather than just blaming other people's fecklessness”

But that is a major problem. Parents aren’t parenting their children because they would rather be doing anything else.

No but you have to teach them where and when it's acceptable! On a fairground ride? Yes. Playing with water guns? Yes. When they get tickled? Yes.

Everywhere? Nope.