What is going on with (some) kids?!

[Purpleturtle45]

I have been a primary school teacher for 20 years and I just cannot believe the decline in behaviour and attainment In that time!

Yesterday I witnessed a 6 year old kick, spit at, punch and threaten to kill the DHT and ultimately trash the room and the staff are powerless to stop it as they aren't allowed to touch a child. This is a daily occurrence.

So many children are disrespectful and will argue back to your face now and a lot of the parents are just accepting of this! I honestly fear for the world if this is what the kids are like!

Every teacher I know is looking to leave, they are being driven to breaking point every day! It's all so worrying.

Absolutely all of this.

I was rushing to catch a train the other day and the station had narrow steps leading to the platform. A woman with a toddler was allowing them to climb the steps oh-so-slowly, while a pool of commuters in a rush had built up behind them. She didn’t see the need to move him to the side or pick him up at all. She kept giggling and looking at us as if expecting us all to acknowledge how cute it was. Yes he was very cute but me missing my train isn’t!

And yes the relentless mithering of kids by their anxious and overly involved parents is nuts. You see it on here all the time, parents starting whole threads about silly classroom squabbles, wanting to know ‘what support’ was going to be put in place by the school and ‘how they would intervene in future’. Madness, I bet the teachers just roll their eyes

A lot of the posters will have had dc ages ago so think it doesn’t apply to them.

So you have quit your job because NHS staff shouldn’t face abuse (which I absolutely agree with) but school staff - let’s face it, often underpaid TAs - have to face abuse from children because “they’re not doing it on purpose”? If a child can’t help attacking people they should not be at school.

ALL OF THIS!

I think neglect looks different.

When I was a kid neglect was ‘putting your child out on the estate’ to roam around until dark after school, even at 6 or 7 years old. However - they weren’t on screens, they socialised with each other, it often involved football/bikes, and they had to sort squabbles between themselves as they were not being supervised.

Now ‘neglect’ looks like handing them a tablet and a plate of UPF snacks while you Mrs Hinch your home and scroll on social media. No fresh air, no exercise, no socialising, a load of ADHD-spiking junk food and ensuing poor quality sleep.

I was rushing to catch a train the other day and the station had narrow steps leading to the platform. A woman with a toddler was allowing them to climb the steps oh-so-slowly, while a pool of commuters in a rush had built up behind them. She didn’t see the need to move him to the side or pick him up at all. She kept giggling and looking at us as if expecting us all to acknowledge how cute it was. Yes he was very cute but me missing my train isn’t!

Playing devils advocate though why does the toddler have less right than you or I to walk up the stairs just because he’s slow? People think like this about the elderly and disabled too

Because toddlers don’t have jobs to go to?

@ExtraHotDoubleShot neglect would be leaving your dc outside unsupervised. Everyone says on here all the time dc don’t play out anymore, parents helicopter etc. But as soon as something happens to a dc unattended “I never took sight off my dc for one second in a playground”, “you should have been watching him” etc.

Maybe it's something to do with how little babies and children see their actual parents because they delegate their care as soon as they can get away with it. There's no stability for these tiny children who just want to feel safe with their mum or dad for a few years.

@ExtraHotDoubleShotso jobs take priority because loads of adults don’t have them either?

I work in childcare and the children are definitely getting harder (even the babies) - the parents seem unwilling or unable to put boundaries in place and say "no" to them (in my opinion).

No, people in a rush to catch a train take priority as it’s a train station? If I decided to just sit on the steps and not move is that fine because we all have a right to be there? Don’t be daft

I think it's unfair to judge parents in hospital with their children, especially for weeks. Parenting is never going to be like home when your child is in hospital, especially if it isn't your local hospital and you can't get home easily.

Do you think it’s because the amount of SEN kids in mainstream school?

combine that with the soft, gentle parenting i see everywhere

people never seem to chastise their kids anymore

No, nursery outcomes are the same as kids who stay home until school.

No of course they shouldn't.

I had quitted school if I were a TA/teacher. I am not. I was NHS and left.

But you can't just removed a child from school unless you can afford to homeschool or do something else like we have done.

I removed my child from an English state school. I simply couldn't let her attend the school system anymore. So much abuse in classes towards both pupils and TA/teachers. I have never blamed teachers. They are powerless.

But I do understand why abuse is so common in schools and NHS) nowadays.

Hmmm maybe that is it, are all of these threads started by posters with adult children then?

As I said I have an adult child and a primary aged child, I have been surrounded by children for the past 25 years. In that time no, I haven't seen a massive decline in the behavior of school aged kids. They are largely as they were.

I work in an FE college and I have seen a massive decline in the mental health of teens, as well as a huge rise in "issues" - primarily MH and neuro related. I've also seen a real positive uptick in young people having some awareness of their difficulties and knowing what to do about it. They don't want to struggle and many of them are willing to do something about it - even if that looks weird to others (the much maligned ear defender etc).

I think it's a bit rich that a parenting site is so full of thread after thread talking about how awful our children have become. If they are little shits now it's because we've made them that way. Why is there never any self reflection on these threads, just blame blame blame and talk about other parents...
If the kids are getting so awful these days, statistically speaking some of us on this thread must be to blame!?!

@ExtraHotDoubleShot why are you making things up?

@AmethystDeceiverthe vast majority of actual
posters as opposed to readers on MNs have adult dc as users have grown with the site.

@AmethystDeceiver it’s always the other parents to blame 😆

Have a look at the thread where an 8 year old girl put an offensive notice on her bedroom door. The number of people excusing the child is crazy! Telling the OP to ignore it, give the notice back to her (!), take her out for coffee (?), apologise for getting cross, oh and it'll be "hormones". Any posters challenging? They're called "pearl clutchers" or worse. Read it, it's fascinating, because it shows the reluctance of so many parents to actively address and tackle poor behaviour early on.
The excusing of bad language, rude, entitled and disrespectful behaviour by many parents is very problematic and I don't know how you do your job.

It starts higher up. The decline of respect is from adults down. Abuse of public service workers. People playing their music out loud on the bus and thinking it’s normal. Everyone going “NC” with family members because they can’t be arsed to make the tiniest concession to achieve a shared family life.

It makes it really hard to parent well, even if you’re doing your best because they are absorbing all this just by being in society.

Covid made everything worse. Alongside conspiracy theory cranks, it made everyone feel they were owed something for having lost a part of their life. It gave people a “don’t give a fuck anymore” attitude. While I personally agree with hybrid working as being better for everyone, this is the reason that bosses can’t remove it even if they want to. People just refuse to make concessions for anyone else now.

That’s not true. Outcomes depend on socio economic status. For kids from the most deprived background outcomes are much better with at least part time nursey

Of course they're allowed to touch the kids. The school will have a physical restraint policy

Agreed, my son is AuADHD and the biggest fight I’ve had is getting the school to recognise that he won’t act out, and if he’s struggling he goes quiet and insular. Unfortunately it’s the ones who make the most noise who get attention (SEN or not). It gives people such misconceptions about ND. SEN children can still be poorly parented with a lack of boundaries, it’s just likely going to have a more profound impact.