Aibu - a bit creeped out by this?

[creepedoutbythis]

AIBU to feel a bit stalked by my DC's playgroup leader?

Bit of background. I'm in the middle of a very messy divorce with ongoing court proceedings. The court order names STBXH as the main contact with the playgroup, but there's nothing stopping me contacting them or talking to other parents. My relationship with the setting was already strained.
Yesterday I asked for some of the DC's belongings back via our nanny. The playgroup told the nanny I had to go through STBXH. I sent the leader a polite email, with my solicitor copied in, asking them not to use my nanny as a go-between.

A few hours later, the leader phoned STBXH and told him I'd been "asking parents if they're happy with the school." He then fired off an email, copying in both solicitors, saying it must stop immediately and would be reported to the court.
The reality: I've spoken privately to ONE mum, a friend, about worries over my own child. That's it. No posts, no rallying parents, nothing.
So AIBU to find it really unsettling that she seems to be keeping tabs on private conversations between parents outside the setting, and reporting them to my ex? It feels like she's monitoring who I talk to and using him to shut me up, especially as it came hours after my solicitor was copied in.

I told him it wasn’t true and laughed at him for being so controlling during a court case in writing.

Shes also done other weird things, like making passive aggressive instagram stories after I made a thoughtless comment and sending them to me, rang my ex after I complained in a group chat about behaviour there (this is why she hates me) and copied my WhatsApp profile picture down to the location and setting.

Am I overreacting, or is this as weird as it feels?

Can you tell us why you are not a contact in the same way as your ex?
It's usual for both parents to be equal contacts.
Either way, you have lost confidence in the nursery so I would not be happy to have my child there.

Ok, this is where you lose all credibility for me.
"Sure, blame the woman."
🙄
It's nothing to do with your sex. People are going on your posts.
Trying to follow along here and you do sound drama prone (getting them fined, gossiping about them and "snakes in WhatsApp groups") sounds exhausting and no wonder there's "beef" with them.
You sound like one to avoid from their point of view, sorry.
You can't just go slagging off/gossiping on social media or messages about places, you talk like grown ups with them.
I'm with the posters saying if a court order is in place and you're going via the nanny to pick things up, it makes sense that they'd go through her too and get your STBXH permission for things taken if he's the main contact.
They probably don't want much to do with you, to be honest.

Hi everyone, thanks for all the advice.
I spoke with my lawyer who said to ignore the pair of them and get on with it. He confirmed I’ve not broken a court order and said it’s probably because the mum I’ve spoken to checked with other parents about some of my concerns and the playgroup leader added 2 and 2 and got 5.
They asked for a huge amount of belongings this week to be left there: I just sent in old stuff I don’t care about getting back and instructed ex to buy more so it’s not a big deal.
to the posters who think I’m a gossip that’s your prerogative. I don’t really care whether this woman wants anything to do with me; I just want my dcs things back so I can take her to the park in the afternoon.
thanks for all the advice and I’m keeping out of it. Nanny has been instructed to say nothing and has a list on her phone to check to make sure stuff comes back.
ex seemed really pissed off with the back and forth from playgroup leader. Neither of us are bitches even though it’s got bad between us, and both of us are eye rolling at the leader’s constant messages to me through him. For someone who wants to be left alone, she seems to have a lot to say to me. Hoping he will get annoyed with it and making changing groups easier next time we are at court!

Update because this is just funny now.
stbxh told me this morning to tell the nanny about an item we need returning and send messages through her to the playgroup leader. Of course I screenshotted and sent straight to the nanny so she had proof if asked it wasn’t off my back. I said ok but nanny was nervous to get me into trouble. He then messaged nanny telling her to remember the item at pick up, with a message she can show playgroup leader.
I think diplomatic negotiations are easier than this!!

I feel for the poor nanny caught in the middle.