How do I tell friend I cannot go away ?

[rolandratiloveyouroland]

we are in financial difficulty. I do not want to tell anyone that is the reason for not going away. We have a super holiday coming up over xmas, we paid for that in full over a year ago, before things got really bad. To not go on the upcoming holiday would mean losing the money as too late for any refund. So we will go (it's all inc so spending money should be very little). My friend will then say something along the lines of '' you can afford to go your super holiday but not one with me''.

What do I say to friend ? she will be more than pissed off at me.

You can tell her that your other holiday (not sure what a super holiday is) was all paid for in advance so you don't need any money to go on it.

Have you booked a holiday with your friend or are they asking you to go on one?

Unless you have already booked with your friend and can't now pay your share, why should she be pissed off? Sounds like she is rather demanding, I couldn't be doing with that.

Nothing is booked with friend yet. But there will be an expectation

Then just say sorry I can’t afford it this year, we have some big expenses coming up

You don't have to say anything to her. Just because someone messages you doesn't mean you have to reply, I mean, there's no legal requirement to do so.

Some of the younger generation seem to think that they MUST respond to a message.

Either just say that you have a few big expenses upcoming and the holiday was prepaid and that otherwise you would be cancelling it. Or else tell them you need to keep your annual leave for something that is happening towards the end of the year.

We had this recently, sorry we are already going away and can't afford two holidays.

Why don't you want to say it's for financial reasons OP? Your friend would prefer to think it's that than because you don't want to go away with her.

“Sorry, we can’t afford it. Our holiday at Christmas has cleared us out”.

It’s a bit concerning that you’re worried to this extent about telling a friend a holiday with her isn’t happening. Is she quite demanding?

My friend will then say something along the lines of you can afford to go your super holiday but not one with me

Well yes, that's how it works sometimes. You have £X available to go on holiday and if you spend that money on a holiday, you can't afford another holiday until you have saved up more money in your holiday pot, or rearranged your budget to accommodate it, which could well not be possible unless you have a large disposable income. Either say you don't have room in your budget for another trip away, you don't have the AL or you need to spend your money on home repairs or whatever.

She can 'expect' all she likes, it doesn't make it that you can afford another holiday if you don't have the money.

She’s not a friend if she is a bitch about it. How close is she? Can you not say you’re a bit skint… I’d tell all my close friends if we were a bit skint or going through something. I say all, there are 3 would tell. I wouldn’t want to go away with someone I wasn’t that close to anyway
She sounds demanding !

You know the saying 'a crisis for you doesn't mean it's an emergency for me?' well, I've another one.

'Your expectation is not my obligation.'

Honesty she’s not your friend if you can’t say that you’re a bit skint at the moment and she wouldn’t just understand.

My friend will then say something along the lines of '' you can afford to go your super holiday but not one with me''.

Oh one of those,passive aggressive and demanding if she doesn't get her way. I bet she walks all over you in other things and demands you bow to her wishes, doesn't she?

And if she does say that it's 'yeah, that's pretty much it and sorry, but that's how the cookies crumble this year' (or whenever).

Why would there be an expectation? Did you already commit to going away with her? If yes and she’s planned accordingly then I can see why she will be annoyed and you’ll need to tell her the truth or look like a bad friend. If you never committed then just say you can’t this year, or whatever.

Just say I'm sorry I can't afford another holiday I have already got one booked

You just have to be brave and utter those words (as suggested above). If she sulks, that’s her problem.

Life happens.

Enjoy your holiday (guilt free)

If you don’t want to explain then say the same thing over and over again.

I can’t book anything this year/time.

Not in the budget this year

If it’s an annual holiday then I think you need to tell her assp and if you’re very vague she might be hurt.

It's family money for a family holiday. Surely most people don't have money to go on multiple extravagant holidays with different groups of people.

I know you'll be disappointed but we're going through a bad time financially... The christmas one was paid for months ago and is all inclusive... So that's all been paid for.

Just tell her what you told us! If she’s a friend she will understand, if she doesn’t she isn’t a friend. It really is that easy I promise.

This. If you’ve already been planning it with her and now you’re backing out then it’s only fair to explain the reasons why and put it on hold for now. But if she’s just expecting you to without any prior discussion then just tell her you’ve already got one holiday this year, you’re not doing another.

You can't afford two holidays. There is no shame in that and if you can only afford one, it is reasonable to prioritise the trip with your own family.