How do I tell friend I cannot go away ?

[rolandratiloveyouroland]

we are in financial difficulty. I do not want to tell anyone that is the reason for not going away. We have a super holiday coming up over xmas, we paid for that in full over a year ago, before things got really bad. To not go on the upcoming holiday would mean losing the money as too late for any refund. So we will go (it's all inc so spending money should be very little). My friend will then say something along the lines of '' you can afford to go your super holiday but not one with me''.

What do I say to friend ? she will be more than pissed off at me.

Hi friend, cant go away this year as 'super' holiday taking all our funds - maybe next year. End of discussion.

I am not sure I would be friends with someone who would make it awkward for me to say I cannot afford something to be honest. Friends are there to enhance your life not interrogate you on it.

I think with a proper friend there shouldn’t be any issue. I recently said to friends I cannot contribute to something in the way I used to as I have to be careful with money at the mo and prioritise. No one batted an eye. I can’t imagine any of them thinking hang on, you’ve not contributed but going on holiday. I guess it depends on the length and level of friendship.

She doesn’t get to ‘expect’ a holiday from you, no.

Just be honest. Most people are struggling one way or the other right now?

My financial situation changed since the other holiday was booked and paid for. Sorry.

Being able to afford one holiday doesn't mean you can afford two. Just say we only budgeted for one holiday. No shame in that!

Annual leave is another good reason if you need one.
Cost

Surely she would understand that a big family holiday takes priority over going away with her?

No leave left? Can't get the time off work? Saving for a home improvement? Might have to go away for work but you don't know when? Might be going on an extended family holiday?

I’m not sure what the issue is. You booked one holiday ages ago and it’s all paid for.

A friend is likely to invite you on holiday but you won’t be able to afford it.

Do you mean you are too embarrassed to tell her you can’t afford it? I really wouldn’t worry, surely everyone knows there’s a cost of living/low pay crisis?

So she might be disappointed? That’s OK. 🤷‍♀️

If it was a friend I'd just be honest. For people who are less close, I'd say I want to use holiday time with family, which isn't a lie, it's just missing out the extra bit about money.

I expected to win the Euro millions

I didn't 🤷‍♂️

She's a grown woman, not a child. Just tell her you can't afford a second holiday.

Had you actually promised or planned to go away with her?

Just say ‘we booked the family hol a year ago and since then we have had a run of expensive bad luck. I am really sorry but our holiday will need to be postponed. ‘ or ‘I just can’t budget for another hol at present’

MUCH better to tell her the truth than let her think you don’t want to go with her.

If nothing is booked yet with friend and you don't want to disclose would annual leave be a good excuse especially if you have a big trip booked?
A simple sorry my annual leave has been accounted for already.

Obviously trickier to use if retired or you don't work!

I think the truth is fine...very few people have inexhaustible funds. Anything else is lying and personally speaking, I don't see the need for it.
Is there a reason you don't want her to know you're reining it in? Lots of us are. Things are a fuckton of a price at the moment.

Sorry, no not this time.

Just tell her the truth? She’s your friend, she likes you. Being skint is not a moral issue.

Who tf is this friend? Your lord and master?

Tell her your can’t afford it and can hardly afford even going on this pre paid holiday.

If she’s a selfish unreasonable arse, let her be. Don’t wring your hands and cringe over something which is none of her business!

Doesn't sound like much of a friend if you can't tell her the truth.
X

Just tell her that holiday has wiped you out!

You can tell her the truth and if she is a real friend, she will understand.

Just say to her what you’ve said here. A friend worth keeping will understand.

If she is a proper friend, she will understand and sympathise.
And if she doesn't respond well, is she the kind of person you'd want as a friend anyway?

She’s not your friend if you’re this worried about telling her something so understandable.

Can you honestly not come up with “sorry, can’t afford it” without assistance?

I'm in no way younger generation but of course you must respond to a message. Not doing so is the equivalent to a friend asking a question and you airing them.