AIBU to feel upset that DH's birthday trip excludes me and the kids

[Yomuma]

As a birthday present a couple of moniths back, a family member bought DH a voucher for a fun group activity. It is for 8 people,and involves a weekend away. We planned to take our 2 teens and invite 4 others, either friends or family, we hadn't decided yet. Kids were excited to go. Then today the family member sends a message on a group family chat inviting 3 of DHs cousins (who DH rarely sees) and their partners to go with them and DH. No invite for me or the kids. They have all accepted, so no places left - so now I need to tell the kids they arent going after all.
AIBU to think it is a bit rude to buy someone a voucher, then just invite people and not invite his wife or kids without even checking first?
Even if the invite had gone to just the 3 cousins, not their partners, that would leave 3 spots for me and the kids. For context, DH and the family member have met the partners once at a funeral. Just feels a bit hurtful. We have been married for 16 years. DH doesnt want any drama so will go with the flow, but agrees it is all quite odd.
We are seeing this family member this weekend, not sure if to say anything? Even just a sarcastic "thanks for the invite" type comment.

Very simple you send “DH and I have already decided to use his gift for us and DCs, he’s still deciding who else to invite. Did you get a second one for you guys and cousins, that will be great, will there big kids DCs ages too?”

‘Sorry there aren’t that many spaces left as the four of us are going together’

How very odd. Your DH really needs to say that you all want to do the activity with him and the others need to be told to pull out. He is being a wimp. Is the activity definitely suitable for kids?

Both you and DH should stop being such doormats!
Why would you, either of you, not speak up about it?
Its very simple as the pps have said - “there are only four spaces left on the voucher after me, partner and our two kids book in”. Done!

I agree . You need to act surprised and ask if a second voucher was bought as half of the space on your voucher is taken so only 4 spaces remain. It’s your dhs only he gets to decide who goes

Well its his voucher so he can say Ordovician what he wants, i wouldn't have assumed anything from the start

Do you actually have the voucher in hand or does the person who bought it still have it?

Why is DH going along with this?

Reminds me of the episode of Friends where Rachel has to be schooled to say "I have an EXTRA ticket"

Was the gift given as a voucher to DH to use how he wished or as an extra ticket so the gift giver could enjoy the fun activity themselves?

People need to learn to stick up for themselves or people take the piss. Just say sorry 4 of the spots are allocated but we’d love you to buy your own voucher and join us

Not the point but 3 cousins and partners plus DH makes 7. Doesnt that leave space for you? Or has the gift giver allocated themselves the last spot?

You don’t buy someone a voucher then dictate who’s going. Your husband needs to speak up, say thanks for the voucher we are going as a family then offer out the remainder of the places.

It's obviously a mixup. Your husband owns the rickets, let him figure out how many are left after he, you, and the children are accounted for and then he can either invite specific people to make up the extra slots or tell his family that "x slots are left" and let them decide. This isn't difficult or ambiguous or confusing, don't let him pretend that it is.

Communicate promptly to see whether you and kids need to now purchase your own tickets, as you are looking forward to going.

Could be that the others have a separate vouchure. You wont know without asking.

It doesn’t make sense that they’ve invited others - was it a present for his cousins and partners as well then?

The voucher gifter is also going I think?

You’ce got to say no OP, if the cousins wives are invited, then you should come above those as should the children.

That’s not a gift to your dh. It’s just a free space going spare that his family have organised to go to. Not on at all. What are they thinking? If he doesn’t want to go with them and he doesn’t have possession of the tickets, I think he’d be better to decline and do your own thing as a family that day. Maybe you could do an alternative family fun thing yourselves?

@Yomuma , you are seeing this family member this weekend, please can you say directly to the “what is going on? My DH will be spending his birthday with me and his children.”

What do you mean you have had to tell the children they are not going to? How can an outsider, no matter who they are just bounce into your family, cause so much disruption and show such disrespect over a stupid birthday present. It amazes me!

Well the government gave a present it appears it was the op and probably the husband that causes all the added drama

Genuinely, am I missing something?

This

If you are, then so am I 🤷‍♀️!

WTAF

Auto correct for gift giver, surely?

Sorry yes gift giver npt government

Your DH should cancel and say say "I won't join under these circumstances" and spend the day with his wife and children.

Is there any chance of a misunderstanding and the gift was just DH's place? If not, DH should put a message in the group chat saying that all the places 4 places have already been promised/allocated.