Page 19 | DSD’s new partner is now telling DH to get legal advice about our house

BetLynchsEyes · 2026-05-30T08:46:53+00:00

I can't believe how quickly my last thread filled up. I woke up to find it at 1000 posts which was a bit of a surprise. Thank you to those posters who were supportive. It has been a difficult time. Things have taken a downward turn. I honestly thought this couldn’t get any more ridiculous, but apparently it can. DH has had another message from DSD early this morning. She said she and her partner have been discussing the situation and have decided they are going to get legal advice. Apparently he thinks the agreement we have in place “might not mean what I think it means” if DH and I ever divorced. Her partner is not a solicitor, by the way. He works in finance, I think. But apparently he “knows enough to know Dad shouldn’t just accept this.” So now the man who has been in her life for about five minutes is apparently advising her on my marriage, my house and my legal arrangements. DSD has told DH he needs to get his “own independent legal advice” because she thinks he has been “stitched up.” She also said that if he divorces me, he may be able to get more than his current share and “at least protect something for the future.” I cannot believe I am typing this. This has gone from a nasty dinner joke to his daughter and her new partner discussing whether my husband should divorce me to improve her future inheritance position. DH is livid. Properly livid this time. He has replied saying his marriage is not up for discussion, his financial arrangements are not her partner’s business, and if she continues down this road, there will be no conversation until she can speak respectfully. I feel sick, but also weirdly relieved because at least DH can now see exactly what I have been dealing with. This was never about a joke. It was about entitlement. And now her partner has poured petrol on it.

itswindyoutside · 30/05/2026 14:29

cheezncrackers · 30/05/2026 14:07

It's unbelievable that the BF thinks that any of this is anything to do with him. Why the fuck would he be welcome at any meeting to discuss his GF's family finances??? He thinks he should be there to 'keep the conversation on track'???? WTAF? He's not a member of the family, it's nothing to do with him!

I think you, your DH and his ex should all be very concerned about this man. His unhealthy interest in his GF's (hopefully decades in the) future inheritance is extremely worrying.

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Hell's bells. It is bugger all to do with the boyfriend and I hope your DH is telling him to take a running jump.

What a worry, the ex wife might be right about it being an abusive relationship. More to it than 'just' the DD being an entitled brat - someone is pushing her buttons for his own gain.

Not sure if other family members can put in a Claire's Law application?

Seriously12 · 30/05/2026 14:30

A man you don't know, whom has been in your house once, demanding to see you private financials, will and paperwork?

I think I would be askin 101 for advice.
Who on earth does he think he is?

Extremely sinister.

Gonners · 30/05/2026 14:30

@BetLynchsEyes This is worth a read, OP. Quite entertaining.

www.roythorne.co.uk/site/blog/privateclient/can-a-child-bring-a-claim-against-their-parents-estate

<on edit> In that particular case, the father had left everything to his wife ... who was the child's mother!

godmum56 · 30/05/2026 14:31

BetLynchsEyes · 30/05/2026 13:56

From the sublime to the ridiculous 🙄 I don't even care if this is outing anymore, it's getting beyond a joke.

Seems like the jungle drums have been beating following DHs chat with his ex wife. DH has now had a text from the BF.

"I think the best thing now is a proper sit-down meeting. DSD is too upset for this to keep going over text, and things are getting twisted. I’ll come with her and keep the conversation on track so it doesn’t turn into everyone blaming her. I think she’s entitled to see the paperwork if decisions have been made that affect her future. If everything is fair and above board, that shouldn’t be an issue. We need to get this cleared up and agree a way forward so everyone is happy".

DH isn't even going to respond, he so angry and hurt. He's blocked the number and won't engage with the BF further.

bloody blooming hell!

longtompot · 30/05/2026 14:31

SnappyQuoter · 30/05/2026 14:11

@BetLynchsEyes
She is wrong. Her BF is wrong. Their behaviour is so out of line. But… I think the way you are now reacting may be the wrong approach.

Her behaviour is wrong, but it is her behaviour and it isn’t going to change on its own. She clearly doesn’t understand finances or split home ownerships, she didn’t know what sort of money her dad had, she didn’t know any of it. She saw a nice house and lifestyle and made up a story to suit her. And now she is behaving terribly, and you rightly want to slam the phone down and refuse to speak. But that won’t help change anything. If you want to change the attitude, and find a way for your husband to have a relationship with her, then maybe you should talk to her. Explain the finances, how much her dad had, what he put into the house and expected pensions to show that he is actually going to be living on the money he brings in, and she might get what’s leftover in cash but it’s his money and he might spend it. She will get his shaker of the house, but only his share and she hasn’t lost anything because he never had any more money than that. She isn’t entitled to money or assets he never had, and she isn’t entitled to your money.

She has created a narrative in which her dad has been stitched up, so it sounds like she thinks he’s gifted you money for the house and has given you ownership. She thinks it should be his. If you do sit down and explain the finances, explain that he only owns a part and he hasn’t lost any money so she hasn’t lost any future inheritance. Show her that no decisions made have affected her future, because it’s your money and was never his.

I’d also mention that all his money could go on future care needs, or on future government taxing savings and home ownerships etc.

She has no right to the information. You shouldn’t have to do this. But I would, just to put an end to it, to try and show her that she hasn’t lost anything and her dad hasn’t been stolen from, and to ensure she doesn’t come back for money at any point or harass your children. And then maybe they can continue to have a relationship.

As much as I'd also want to block them both, I'd think of the future when neither you or your dh are no longer here, and it's your kids are fighting this woman's rough the courts, who has now had years to really build up a poor me story.
I think I would have a letter written by your solicitor stating the facts, and any further correspondence on the matter will not be entered into.

DaisyDooley · 30/05/2026 14:32

Well.
This is now my number 1 cheeky fucker thread.
Sorry Mexican house thief your long reign at no1 has been toppled.

@BetLynchsEyes Im absolutely appalled at your step daughter and her equally cheeky boyfriend. While you are in this maelstrom you won’t be thinking too far ahead but assuming your husband is still keeping his daughter in his will I would be looking at ring fencing the inheritance she will receive from him so she can’t simply access it as she’s clearly financially unstable , mentally unstable and seems likely to attract men who will financially abuse her.

Or, DH could simply leave her £100 in his will which means she was left something - but not what she was expecting. AFAIK leaving someone a modest ammount shows that you were not coerced into cutting them out completely.

I bet she’s not happy that she opened her flappy mouth now! She’s shit herself massivly in the foot and I hope DH has a good chat with his ex wife to ensure they both sing from the same hymnsheet.

Esmeraldathe3rd · 30/05/2026 14:32

I think your H needs to text his daughter.
I will not be discussing my finances with your boyfriend. I will not be giving you any paperwork concerning my personal finances.
I am absolutely heartbroken at how you view me. I love you and I want a relationship with you, but I do not ever want to hear a word about my finances ever again. Do not plan on receiving any money from me, in life or death, I am your dad, not a savings account.

Elsvieta · 30/05/2026 14:33

AnotherForumUser · 30/05/2026 14:00

Oi! Unfair to rattlesnakes. They're pretty cool. And are one of nature's finest adapters. 🐍

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Haha, yeah, they are! Something tells me SD will also adapt though. Find a man she can sponge off...

ScribblingPixie · 30/05/2026 14:33

I'm so sorry, especially for your poor DH. I'm sure it goes without saying that you should doublecheck your legal paperwork is 100 per cent watertight.

BananaPeels · 30/05/2026 14:35

This whole thread is terribly sad. My Dad married someone a lot wealthier than him. I would have not dreamed to think I was entitled to anything of hers. I wouldn’t dream of thinking I am entitled to anything of my dad’s but he’s obsessed with inheritance planning so I have to tell him off sometimes and tell him this is all very good and all but I hope you aren’t planning on dying soon!

whitefluffydog · 30/05/2026 14:35

DaisyDooley · 30/05/2026 14:32

Well.
This is now my number 1 cheeky fucker thread.
Sorry Mexican house thief your long reign at no1 has been toppled.

@BetLynchsEyes Im absolutely appalled at your step daughter and her equally cheeky boyfriend. While you are in this maelstrom you won’t be thinking too far ahead but assuming your husband is still keeping his daughter in his will I would be looking at ring fencing the inheritance she will receive from him so she can’t simply access it as she’s clearly financially unstable , mentally unstable and seems likely to attract men who will financially abuse her.

Or, DH could simply leave her £100 in his will which means she was left something - but not what she was expecting. AFAIK leaving someone a modest ammount shows that you were not coerced into cutting them out completely.

I bet she’s not happy that she opened her flappy mouth now! She’s shit herself massivly in the foot and I hope DH has a good chat with his ex wife to ensure they both sing from the same hymnsheet.

Just the opposite, if the young lady is in a massive trouble, good that she opened her mouth, she still has got two parents no matter their financials

life is not only white or black on a thread and we are not here to clap or oppose only but learn and participate, grow up

TiredShadows · 30/05/2026 14:35

'So everyone is happy'? Your and your DH's financial arrangement only needs to make you two happy, not everyone, least of all a new boyfriend.

If everything is fair and above board, that shouldn’t be an issue. This is so manipulative - it's the old 'if you have nothing to fear, you have nothing to hide', when really, they've no right to see anything.

At most - and largely because I prefer written information and I find writing helps to clarify thinking especially in high emotion situations - I'd recommend your DH make a written summary of the situation, including that the share he has may end up being used to pay for care or other needs later in life, and potentially the impact all of this has had on his view of his daughter. If he ever feels it's ready and wants to, he can give it to her.

grumpygrape · 30/05/2026 14:35

BetLynchsEyes · 30/05/2026 13:56

From the sublime to the ridiculous 🙄 I don't even care if this is outing anymore, it's getting beyond a joke.

Seems like the jungle drums have been beating following DHs chat with his ex wife. DH has now had a text from the BF.

"I think the best thing now is a proper sit-down meeting. DSD is too upset for this to keep going over text, and things are getting twisted. I’ll come with her and keep the conversation on track so it doesn’t turn into everyone blaming her. I think she’s entitled to see the paperwork if decisions have been made that affect her future. If everything is fair and above board, that shouldn’t be an issue. We need to get this cleared up and agree a way forward so everyone is happy".

DH isn't even going to respond, he so angry and hurt. He's blocked the number and won't engage with the BF further.

OP, I hope your husband hasn’t made his daughter an Attorney in an LPOA.

thestudio · 30/05/2026 14:36

Agree that @SnappyQuoter 's advice is very good.

BUT I think after you've said all that and it's clear she understands, your DH should go all in on the absolute outrage of her making any assumptions at all, and especially of giving voice to them. No-one knows what the future holds - it could all go on care fees anyway. But even if it doesn't, she is on very very thin ice: unkind, unpleasant, demanding, entitled and destructive people can find that their behaviour can rebound on them and they end up with nothing at all.

THEN - tell the BF that you are astonished by his thinking that this is any business of his whatsoever and disgusted with the manner in which he's been addressing you; that he's behaving very much like a golddigger, and to never ever to speak to either of you on this subject again.

And then, privately to DSD, that he's very very concerned that she is involved with the kind of controlling bully that would do all this, and that she should look into narcissistic personality traits, and that he will not be colluding in what looks like a dangerous relationship by financially supporting her for now.

3luckystars · 30/05/2026 14:36

Shocking.

TheBlueKoala · 30/05/2026 14:36

BetLynchsEyes · 30/05/2026 13:56

From the sublime to the ridiculous 🙄 I don't even care if this is outing anymore, it's getting beyond a joke.

Seems like the jungle drums have been beating following DHs chat with his ex wife. DH has now had a text from the BF.

"I think the best thing now is a proper sit-down meeting. DSD is too upset for this to keep going over text, and things are getting twisted. I’ll come with her and keep the conversation on track so it doesn’t turn into everyone blaming her. I think she’s entitled to see the paperwork if decisions have been made that affect her future. If everything is fair and above board, that shouldn’t be an issue. We need to get this cleared up and agree a way forward so everyone is happy".

DH isn't even going to respond, he so angry and hurt. He's blocked the number and won't engage with the BF further.

Wow. He needs to know he means because if she doesn't have this big heritage coming her way as she has bribeb about he will def move on.

whitefluffydog · 30/05/2026 14:36

ScribblingPixie · 30/05/2026 14:33

I'm so sorry, especially for your poor DH. I'm sure it goes without saying that you should doublecheck your legal paperwork is 100 per cent watertight.

and no one is sorry for a confused, financially burdened, emotionally burdened and coerce young woman?

Trumptontown · 30/05/2026 14:37

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

I see the SD found OPs thread…

Vinvertebrate · 30/05/2026 14:37

poetryandwine · 30/05/2026 14:22

It doesn’t sound like a question of affordability, at least for OP.

The questions are whether a good solicitor can properly intimidate the twat - almost certainly the answer to that is ‘yes’; and can succinctly explainly the relevant finances and no more to SD - again, yes, and here a solicitor has the great advantage of knowing when to shut up, whereas DH may say more than he means to. He will regret it if he does.

I am probably not nearly as rich as OP. I would bring the solicitor and let them do the talking for these reasons.

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Solicitor here. I’d properly intimidate the little twat alright, and I’d enjoy it so much I wouldn’t even charge OP.

What a pair of immature fuckwitted bell ends.

eatreadsleeprepeat · 30/05/2026 14:37

BetLynchsEyes · 30/05/2026 13:56

From the sublime to the ridiculous 🙄 I don't even care if this is outing anymore, it's getting beyond a joke.

Seems like the jungle drums have been beating following DHs chat with his ex wife. DH has now had a text from the BF.

"I think the best thing now is a proper sit-down meeting. DSD is too upset for this to keep going over text, and things are getting twisted. I’ll come with her and keep the conversation on track so it doesn’t turn into everyone blaming her. I think she’s entitled to see the paperwork if decisions have been made that affect her future. If everything is fair and above board, that shouldn’t be an issue. We need to get this cleared up and agree a way forward so everyone is happy".

DH isn't even going to respond, he so angry and hurt. He's blocked the number and won't engage with the BF further.

This is surreal but hugely upsetting for you. To be honest I would think it presumptuous from a child of both of you never mind a step child.
My adult children know what is in our will and we occasionally do joke about us spending their inheritance. But it is a joke and from a point of us all knowing the situation and having a bond.
DSD really does sound delusional and her boyfriend sounds a bit too invested in her money for peace of mind.
I do wonder whether she has go into financial difficulties through keeping up with wealthier friends. But that is her problem and maybe this will have been a necessary wake up call for her.
Lots of drinks in the hot tub to ease the stress!

whitefluffydog · 30/05/2026 14:38

It is good you prolongued the thread OP. If I was her father, I would be calling her and telling her in straight terms she is living with an abusive man and that she needs to grow up and leave him now. I would not even discuss money further with her. Just get strict, authoritative voice, give my statement and hang the phone down. Let me see what her tyrant will do

godmum56 · 30/05/2026 14:38

grumpygrape · 30/05/2026 14:20

I disagree. No offspring needs to know a parent’s financial position nor the provisions of their Will until such time as the parent dies or the offspring becomes Attorney. Until a Will is executed the only person who really needs to know the contents are the Testator and the person drawing up the Will, although often a spouse will know as well.

Financial positions and Wills can change at the drop of a hat. Do you expect these cosy one to ones to take place every week or so if incomes, stocks and shares go up or down, major purchases are made? They are neither vital nor, in my experience, normal.Jokes within loving families are made about the spending of inheritances but this was not the case.

Most people have better things to chat about at Sunday Lunch.

In my experience most parents expect their offspring to take control of their financial futures by the age of 27 but if approached in the right way and are able will help out.

Her fantasies are hers and her boyfriend’s unless her mother or father have been telling her she’ll be a rich little princess when Daddy dies….

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I agree with you. Making sure that children can manage their own finances, budget and so on is fine. talking about their expectations when their parents die is not their business and as you have said, can change massively and quickly.

Dweetfidilove · 30/05/2026 14:39

I could smell the BF was involved yesterday.
What a terrifying pair 😢.

Thisthreadhasbeendeleted · 30/05/2026 14:39

BetLynchsEyes · 30/05/2026 13:56

From the sublime to the ridiculous 🙄 I don't even care if this is outing anymore, it's getting beyond a joke.

Seems like the jungle drums have been beating following DHs chat with his ex wife. DH has now had a text from the BF.

"I think the best thing now is a proper sit-down meeting. DSD is too upset for this to keep going over text, and things are getting twisted. I’ll come with her and keep the conversation on track so it doesn’t turn into everyone blaming her. I think she’s entitled to see the paperwork if decisions have been made that affect her future. If everything is fair and above board, that shouldn’t be an issue. We need to get this cleared up and agree a way forward so everyone is happy".

DH isn't even going to respond, he so angry and hurt. He's blocked the number and won't engage with the BF further.

Fucking hell! He's just inserted himself into your family business! Massive massive overstep and humongous red flag. He's got ££ signs in his eyes.
Tell him in no uncertain terms to mind his own fucking business. If he doesn't back off I'd go so far as a letter from your solicitor firmly telling him to keep his nose out of your assets/financial affairs & he has no right to see any paperwork.
I hope, for your stepdaughter's sake she doesn't get pregnant to this man.

thestudio · 30/05/2026 14:39

Esmeraldathe3rd · 30/05/2026 14:32

I think your H needs to text his daughter.
I will not be discussing my finances with your boyfriend. I will not be giving you any paperwork concerning my personal finances.
I am absolutely heartbroken at how you view me. I love you and I want a relationship with you, but I do not ever want to hear a word about my finances ever again. Do not plan on receiving any money from me, in life or death, I am your dad, not a savings account.

this also v good and really gets the emotional message across.

God, I hope she comes to her senses.