DSD’s new partner is now telling DH to get legal advice about our house

[BetLynchsEyes]

I can't believe how quickly my last thread filled up. I woke up to find it at 1000 posts which was a bit of a surprise.

Thank you to those posters who were supportive. It has been a difficult time.

Things have taken a downward turn. I honestly thought this couldn’t get any more ridiculous, but apparently it can.
DH has had another message from DSD early this morning. She said she and her partner have been discussing the situation and have decided they are going to get legal advice. Apparently he thinks the agreement we have in place “might not mean what I think it means” if DH and I ever divorced. Her partner is not a solicitor, by the way. He works in finance, I think. But apparently he “knows enough to know Dad shouldn’t just accept this.”

So now the man who has been in her life for about five minutes is apparently advising her on my marriage, my house and my legal arrangements.

DSD has told DH he needs to get his “own independent legal advice” because she thinks he has been “stitched up.” She also said that if he divorces me, he may be able to get more than his current share and “at least protect something for the future.”

I cannot believe I am typing this. This has gone from a nasty dinner joke to his daughter and her new partner discussing whether my husband should divorce me to improve her future inheritance position.

DH is livid. Properly livid this time. He has replied saying his marriage is not up for discussion, his financial arrangements are not her partner’s business, and if she continues down this road, there will be no conversation until she can speak respectfully.

I feel sick, but also weirdly relieved because at least DH can now see exactly what I have been dealing with. This was never about a joke. It was about entitlement. And now her partner has poured petrol on it.

If I was your dh I’d make a will leaving everything to a charity. She sounds unhinged.

Can’t children contest wills? (Not certain on this by the way.)

you can’t protect from divorce.

sorry posted too soon- eta even if a Judge agreed with OPs agreement, it would cost many thousands to get there

same for a will, but that’s more clear cut.
martial asset division is based on need for a marriage of OPs length, not who brought in what.

i have a friend who just paid off her ex (£120k) after spending £60k trying to get their pre nup actioned.

This is thread two. Thread one is linked on the first page. This poster is speculating how it may escalate if it goes to a third thread.

i’m guessing it’s all come to a head, as dsd is contemplating buying a house, and asking op/her dad for a house deposit. Perhaps she thought she’d get her inheritance early, and is shocked to discover that it’s not quite as she expected.

Glad Dh is sticking up for you.

Oh, OP, I cannot get over your DSD and partner. Are they intellectually challenged at all? They have to know their position is risible.
@TinyMouseTheatre , from my speed-read of the original thread, OP and her DH have watertight documents setting out percentage ownership of house. OP has well over 50% ownership, by virtue of the significantly larger equity she contributed to the purchase. Yet DSD thinks she’s getting half! And now DSD’s boyfriend is sticking his stupid beak in. Wow wow wow

Although dsd is not op’s child. Not sure if that makes a difference.

Oh! Yes I think this is it

My DPs daughter is a similar age and money oriented. We are about to move in together. We are not getting married due to her inheritance.

we had a similar conversation with her. She wanted to know if her dad dies would I get his money. He has invested well. She also wanted to know if she was entitled to my inheritance if I died, as I have no kids. Hmmm…

this was the factor in not getting married. What she didn’t know was we discussed this. The house is mine as he will only own 25%. When he dies it goes to me and vice versa if I go first.

my money goes to my nephew and DPs goes to her. She was not happy with the house split. But so what. I worked hard for it and not getting chucked out my home.

now she doesn’t visit much.

Good grief. I didn't read the other thread at the time and have just gone through it and read the OP's comments. I am aghast at the DSD's staggering level of entitlement.

That’s horrendous Op - glad your DH is on the same side as you with this. The entitlement of some people is staggering. Getting your DH to contact his ex to see if she can shed any light is a good idea, although unlikely to change your DSDs attitude.

Is your house definitely protected in the case of divorce?

What happens if either / both of you need a care home in the future? Surely DSD realises that assets (regardless of knowing the % split) can end up gone to pay for care home fees, so inheritance is never a given?!!

I'd certainly be telling the brat that!

If I were him I'd be leaving my estate to the RSPCA. What a nasty, entitled little brat she is. I also wouldn't have her in my house. She's ruining any relationship she has with you and her dad.

Bloody hell that's gone really bad!!! I'm sorry you are going through this op but at least your husband can now see how nasty his daughter is.

Hi OP, how long has she been with the boyfriend who is 'in finance'? What a shitshow, FWIW i think you've been in the right from the start.

I have a sister in law and niece (not related to eachother) who are equally entitled. One expected her mother to swap her owned house with her as 'she doesn't need it'.

Has he not asked her why she’d think he has a lot more assets than he does given her mother got the whole family home in the divorce?

The whole thing is mad. I’d recommend drawing a line this morning and detaching from it all so it doesn’t ruin your weekend and do something nice.

Quite something isn't it!

even if he Dad owned 50% of the house, it would be HUS to decide who inherits! I'm going for a charity!! Brat.

The vile DSD appears to have got herself an equally vile partner. Presumably he's the reason she suddenly wants to buy a house and wanted daddy to help pay for it. Wonder what his finances are and what he was going to contribute to the purchase? I don't believe for one moment he won't be moving in with her.

Vile as she is, I suspect he may well be at the route of why the finance bit has suddenly come to the fore.

I think this is different to the Op’s situation though - it’s not wrong for a child to want to know their parent won’t disinherit them when they get a new partner & having an honest conversation about that is the mature thing to do.

You often hear terrible stories of DCs from ‘first’ families being left with nothing as the step parent has inherited & then left it all to their own DCs, with the original DCs being left with nothing.

What a pair of cunts your DSD and her partner are.

I’ll go one better though. Many decades ago, my retired grandparents answered a knock at their door. It was a registered valuer. They were confused ‘you’ve got the wrong place’ etc, and turns out it was my uncle/their son, had organised it ‘to get the value of the house for planning purposes’. Needless to say, things didn’t go well. Grandfather told uncle he was never to set foot in his house again, and if he sent anyone around he’d knock them out, and my grandfather was the most gentle man you could meet.

It is up to DH, obviously, but I would suggest that while all this is going on he changes his will to leave everything to you and specifically put in it that he leaves nothing to her. He can always change it back if / when the situation is resolved but that just protects you in the awful event something happens to him while they are being vindictive and ridiculous

I’m outraged for you OP. I’d have nothing to do with her from this day forward and she certainly would not be stepping inside my home ever again.

You can, through a prenup. Unless they are manifestly unfair, they will be upheld. Ask any family law solicitor.

Assuming this is in England, it'd be very difficult. From what I've seen it's normally only successful where there is a clear dependence of an adult child on a parent, e.g. child who always lived with the parent and has additional needs; or where a life of work has been undertaken on the promise or clear understanding of future inheritance e.g. a farming family.

A solicitor would need to see a copy of the will(s) and supporting documentation to give advice at this stage. These are only public after death.

The adult DSD has no relationship with the OP, just her father. She is not dependent on him.

Also, as I said in the last thread, there's no way she's allowed back over the threshold. Husband can maintain a relationship with his daughter if he wishes but on other turf.

Frankly if she were my daughter, I'd not want a relationship with her after all this.