Page 17 | DSD’s new partner is now telling DH to get legal advice about our house

BetLynchsEyes · 2026-05-30T08:46:53+00:00

I can't believe how quickly my last thread filled up. I woke up to find it at 1000 posts which was a bit of a surprise. Thank you to those posters who were supportive. It has been a difficult time. Things have taken a downward turn. I honestly thought this couldn’t get any more ridiculous, but apparently it can. DH has had another message from DSD early this morning. She said she and her partner have been discussing the situation and have decided they are going to get legal advice. Apparently he thinks the agreement we have in place “might not mean what I think it means” if DH and I ever divorced. Her partner is not a solicitor, by the way. He works in finance, I think. But apparently he “knows enough to know Dad shouldn’t just accept this.” So now the man who has been in her life for about five minutes is apparently advising her on my marriage, my house and my legal arrangements. DSD has told DH he needs to get his “own independent legal advice” because she thinks he has been “stitched up.” She also said that if he divorces me, he may be able to get more than his current share and “at least protect something for the future.” I cannot believe I am typing this. This has gone from a nasty dinner joke to his daughter and her new partner discussing whether my husband should divorce me to improve her future inheritance position. DH is livid. Properly livid this time. He has replied saying his marriage is not up for discussion, his financial arrangements are not her partner’s business, and if she continues down this road, there will be no conversation until she can speak respectfully. I feel sick, but also weirdly relieved because at least DH can now see exactly what I have been dealing with. This was never about a joke. It was about entitlement. And now her partner has poured petrol on it.

JulietteHasAGun · 30/05/2026 14:09

Wow, she really is the gift that keeps on giving.

Clemdfandango · 30/05/2026 14:10

I think I'd be inclined to reply to BF's text with some laughing emojis, then block him.

What an ignorant POS he is!

Sallysparkles · 30/05/2026 14:10

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Entitled? The OP? Of course she should be able to do what she wants with her own money! How on earth can that be considered entitlement.

Gracious? What is she supposed to be gracious about? If anything she has allowed the snarky comments and the entitlement of her DSD to go unchallenged for too long. Who on earth is regularly bailing out their adult children, let alone their DSD for overspending on expensive meals out and trips.

And the DSD is the one that has deeply hurt the DH and embarrassed her mother.

Notsosweetcaroline · 30/05/2026 14:10

OneNewEagle · 30/05/2026 14:08

The boyfriend thinks she’s rich and due a large inheritance. When he realises he’s wrong he will probably disappear (hopefully).

as for step daughter she is correct that if your DH divorced you he would be entitled to more (which she then wants). My father just went through another divorce my step mum has nearly everything.

l have never married my DP yet as I want my share of our house to eventually pass to my DC.

That’s not true, the unequal split is respected as a going in position,it is only challenged in a divorce if it leaves one side without adequate housing.

tipsyraven · 30/05/2026 14:10

BetLynchsEyes · 30/05/2026 13:56

From the sublime to the ridiculous 🙄 I don't even care if this is outing anymore, it's getting beyond a joke.

Seems like the jungle drums have been beating following DHs chat with his ex wife. DH has now had a text from the BF.

"I think the best thing now is a proper sit-down meeting. DSD is too upset for this to keep going over text, and things are getting twisted. I’ll come with her and keep the conversation on track so it doesn’t turn into everyone blaming her. I think she’s entitled to see the paperwork if decisions have been made that affect her future. If everything is fair and above board, that shouldn’t be an issue. We need to get this cleared up and agree a way forward so everyone is happy".

DH isn't even going to respond, he so angry and hurt. He's blocked the number and won't engage with the BF further.

Jesus wept! This is really quite sinister. I wonder if there is a bit of coercive control going on here, not to exonerate the daughter’s behavior at all.

SnappyQuoter · 30/05/2026 14:11

@BetLynchsEyes
She is wrong. Her BF is wrong. Their behaviour is so out of line. But… I think the way you are now reacting may be the wrong approach.

Her behaviour is wrong, but it is her behaviour and it isn’t going to change on its own. She clearly doesn’t understand finances or split home ownerships, she didn’t know what sort of money her dad had, she didn’t know any of it. She saw a nice house and lifestyle and made up a story to suit her. And now she is behaving terribly, and you rightly want to slam the phone down and refuse to speak. But that won’t help change anything. If you want to change the attitude, and find a way for your husband to have a relationship with her, then maybe you should talk to her. Explain the finances, how much her dad had, what he put into the house and expected pensions to show that he is actually going to be living on the money he brings in, and she might get what’s leftover in cash but it’s his money and he might spend it. She will get his shaker of the house, but only his share and she hasn’t lost anything because he never had any more money than that. She isn’t entitled to money or assets he never had, and she isn’t entitled to your money.

She has created a narrative in which her dad has been stitched up, so it sounds like she thinks he’s gifted you money for the house and has given you ownership. She thinks it should be his. If you do sit down and explain the finances, explain that he only owns a part and he hasn’t lost any money so she hasn’t lost any future inheritance. Show her that no decisions made have affected her future, because it’s your money and was never his.

I’d also mention that all his money could go on future care needs, or on future government taxing savings and home ownerships etc.

She has no right to the information. You shouldn’t have to do this. But I would, just to put an end to it, to try and show her that she hasn’t lost anything and her dad hasn’t been stolen from, and to ensure she doesn’t come back for money at any point or harass your children. And then maybe they can continue to have a relationship.

EstherGreenwood63 · 30/05/2026 14:11

MeetMeOnTheCorner · 30/05/2026 14:04

@BetLynchsEyes Hmm. That’s reasonable in my view. Has everything been explained to her properly? I think you need to build some bridges. Or what? He’s no daughter which he might not really want. She’s going to see you as taking her dad away. Is the only relationship you have about money?

Nice try. 😂😉

Notsosweetcaroline · 30/05/2026 14:11

Dollymylove · 30/05/2026 14:08

The boyfriend is definitely driving this imho.
Texting your DH to arrange a " sit down" meeting to thrash it all out.
Thrash what out? OP and DH are hardly about to cark it .
SD sounds like a grabber just waiting for the undertakers to turn up

Looks like the daughter is to me. And the mum says she’s been saying it for some time.

krustykittens · 30/05/2026 14:11

Fuck me, I think the BF is worse! DSD is a silly, immature woman who has got it into her head that her dad is a millionaire and she will be inheriting so much money that she doesn't have to worry about the present, never mind the future. Utterly ridiculous from a woman of her age but ultimately, laughable

That her fortune hunting boyfriend (because that is what he is) would actually have the cheek to demand sit down meeting to sort out the finances of two people he barely knows so that he can benefit from their deaths is outrageous and a bit disturbing. Regardless of how this is resolved with DSD, he wouldn't be crossing my threshold again and I wouldn't accept a cup of tea off him! Hopefully, once he realises he is not marrying a potential millionaire he will be off, looking for his next mark.

I can't believe she is telling you DH to divorce you so she can ring fence money for herself! I have met people before who think they can coast through life and run up debt because of the assumption of a large inheritance coming their way but I have never heard of someone going this far before. Her mother is right to be worried, she seems to have built up a persona of being rich and is terrified of losing her BF.

Edited to day: I think the advice from @SnappyQuoter is spot on. No, you shouldn't have to lay out your finances like this, but she needs to realise that she has been labouring under a delusion of her own making and that no one has been ripped off. She has been assuming an inheritance from her Dad that never existed. I would do it with her alone, though, the BF would be dead to me. She still might carry on like you are an evil villain that has robbed her father blind but at least you know you tried everything you could to maintain the relationship. Yu never know, she might grow up a bit!

quibbleanddither · 30/05/2026 14:11

MyAutumnCrow · 30/05/2026 10:19

Assuming this is in England, it'd be very difficult. From what I've seen it's normally only successful where there is a clear dependence of an adult child on a parent, e.g. child who always lived with the parent and has additional needs; or where a life of work has been undertaken on the promise or clear understanding of future inheritance e.g. a farming family.

A solicitor would need to see a copy of the will(s) and supporting documentation to give advice at this stage. These are only public after death.

The adult DSD has no relationship with the OP, just her father. She is not dependent on him.

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I hate to say this but my DH’s brother contested their DM’s will with a no-win no-fee solicitor and won even though a countering solicitor and barrister were involved.

Notsosweetcaroline · 30/05/2026 14:12

SnappyQuoter · 30/05/2026 14:11

@BetLynchsEyes
She is wrong. Her BF is wrong. Their behaviour is so out of line. But… I think the way you are now reacting may be the wrong approach.

Her behaviour is wrong, but it is her behaviour and it isn’t going to change on its own. She clearly doesn’t understand finances or split home ownerships, she didn’t know what sort of money her dad had, she didn’t know any of it. She saw a nice house and lifestyle and made up a story to suit her. And now she is behaving terribly, and you rightly want to slam the phone down and refuse to speak. But that won’t help change anything. If you want to change the attitude, and find a way for your husband to have a relationship with her, then maybe you should talk to her. Explain the finances, how much her dad had, what he put into the house and expected pensions to show that he is actually going to be living on the money he brings in, and she might get what’s leftover in cash but it’s his money and he might spend it. She will get his shaker of the house, but only his share and she hasn’t lost anything because he never had any more money than that. She isn’t entitled to money or assets he never had, and she isn’t entitled to your money.

She has created a narrative in which her dad has been stitched up, so it sounds like she thinks he’s gifted you money for the house and has given you ownership. She thinks it should be his. If you do sit down and explain the finances, explain that he only owns a part and he hasn’t lost any money so she hasn’t lost any future inheritance. Show her that no decisions made have affected her future, because it’s your money and was never his.

I’d also mention that all his money could go on future care needs, or on future government taxing savings and home ownerships etc.

She has no right to the information. You shouldn’t have to do this. But I would, just to put an end to it, to try and show her that she hasn’t lost anything and her dad hasn’t been stolen from, and to ensure she doesn’t come back for money at any point or harass your children. And then maybe they can continue to have a relationship.

The father should do this, not the op.

poetryandwine · 30/05/2026 14:12

Notsosweetcaroline · 30/05/2026 14:08

He doesn’t need legal advise on how to deal with his daughter, good grief. There is no way forward, what’s done is normal. Her financial input into the house as protected as it should be in a second marriage when both sides have kids. He is entitled to what he put in and the same percentage split of any increase in equity.

the issue is his daughter thinks he should have held out to own 50 percent so she can have it, even though he wasn’t contributing to it. And thrust depriving the ops kids.

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What I really think, like @dapsnotplimsolls , is that the presence of the solicitor at the meeting will put this twat in his place.

lessglittermoremud · 30/05/2026 14:12

I think your DH should reply he will not discuss his financial information to a random stranger, but if his DD would like to meet him 1:1 so that he can discuss (without going into specifics) why she is so upset then he is happy to do so.
Personally I would also add that as the boyfriend is someone who works in finance he should appreciate that when marriages fail/divorce, assets are divided and split and many have to start from scratch and that maybe he and the daughter need to start living in the real work, working for their own assets and keeping their nose out of others affairs/hands off other peoples money.
She is literally waiting in the wings for her dad to die, which is pretty abhorrent.

SpringsOnTheWay · 30/05/2026 14:13

BetLynchsEyes · 30/05/2026 13:56

From the sublime to the ridiculous 🙄 I don't even care if this is outing anymore, it's getting beyond a joke.

Seems like the jungle drums have been beating following DHs chat with his ex wife. DH has now had a text from the BF.

"I think the best thing now is a proper sit-down meeting. DSD is too upset for this to keep going over text, and things are getting twisted. I’ll come with her and keep the conversation on track so it doesn’t turn into everyone blaming her. I think she’s entitled to see the paperwork if decisions have been made that affect her future. If everything is fair and above board, that shouldn’t be an issue. We need to get this cleared up and agree a way forward so everyone is happy".

DH isn't even going to respond, he so angry and hurt. He's blocked the number and won't engage with the BF further.

Nosey cunt. It’s none of his business

Notsosweetcaroline · 30/05/2026 14:14

poetryandwine · 30/05/2026 14:12

What I really think, like @dapsnotplimsolls , is that the presence of the solicitor at the meeting will put this twat in his place.

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Really he doesn’t need o pay a solicitor to attend good grief.

SnappyQuoter · 30/05/2026 14:14

Notsosweetcaroline · 30/05/2026 14:12

The father should do this, not the op.

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Well, if this were me and my partner, we’d do it together. Because we’re a partnership and any behaviour from our kids in our later lives will affect us both, especially if it’s the surviving one of us dealing with a hateful daughter. This isn’t a “well, that’s his job” situation. It very much affects the OP and could affect her kids later if this woman is not sorted out because she could harass them later.

pinkyredrose · 30/05/2026 14:15

BetLynchsEyes · 30/05/2026 13:56

From the sublime to the ridiculous 🙄 I don't even care if this is outing anymore, it's getting beyond a joke.

Seems like the jungle drums have been beating following DHs chat with his ex wife. DH has now had a text from the BF.

"I think the best thing now is a proper sit-down meeting. DSD is too upset for this to keep going over text, and things are getting twisted. I’ll come with her and keep the conversation on track so it doesn’t turn into everyone blaming her. I think she’s entitled to see the paperwork if decisions have been made that affect her future. If everything is fair and above board, that shouldn’t be an issue. We need to get this cleared up and agree a way forward so everyone is happy".

DH isn't even going to respond, he so angry and hurt. He's blocked the number and won't engage with the BF further.

Omfg!!!!!🤐what a controlling bellend!

Notsosweetcaroline · 30/05/2026 14:16

SnappyQuoter · 30/05/2026 14:14

Well, if this were me and my partner, we’d do it together. Because we’re a partnership and any behaviour from our kids in our later lives will affect us both, especially if it’s the surviving one of us dealing with a hateful daughter. This isn’t a “well, that’s his job” situation. It very much affects the OP and could affect her kids later if this woman is not sorted out because she could harass them later.

Edited

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That’s fair but you said the op should do it. Which I was responding to.

Andouillette · 30/05/2026 14:16

Seriously12 · 30/05/2026 12:36

So she's a bullshiter, just like her father.

She is boasting about an inheritance and this all kicked off because your husband was boasting about paying off the morgage for a house he overwhelmingly doesn't own.

Why is he gutted?
He started this.

I find it hard to believe that he hasn't planted some seed in her to start this off, as he clearly has form for spectacularly bending the truth and boasting.

This is all down to the OP's husband but she is determined to ignore how this all started.

That is an extremely peculiar take on the matter. I suggest you go and read all OP's posts on the original thread.

MeetMeOnTheCorner · 30/05/2026 14:16

@TheNoWordi guess he might actually care for the daughter. It’s amazing how horrible people get when they don’t discuss anything calmly and early in a relationship. The DH has money! No idiot gives his ex a whole house and comes out with nothing! I suggest you learn a bit more about divorce and how people lie! Of course dd might want to know why she’s now totally excluded. So would I!

whitefluffydog · 30/05/2026 14:16

oh my goodness, this goes to classics

SnappyQuoter · 30/05/2026 14:16

Notsosweetcaroline · 30/05/2026 14:16

That’s fair but you said the op should do it. Which I was responding to.

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I said you, as in the plural you. Quite obviously. OP is posting from the perspective of both her and her husband. I replied using the plural you.

StrictlyCoffee · 30/05/2026 14:17

PollyBell · 30/05/2026 09:52

She can get all the advice she like it means nothing so just leave them to it

Exactly, let them get on with it

DontShoutInMyEarholeTracey · 30/05/2026 14:17

Otterbabiesholdhandstosleep · 30/05/2026 09:53

It might be a good thing for them to get some legal advice.
A family solicitor will tell them that they are being ridiculous because it’s not their money or house to protect.

Exactly this OP. The next time the not so ‘darling’ SD threatens to get legal advice, laugh in her face and tell her to go ahead. See where that gets them! Maybe she needs to get a second job so she can earn her own money instead of waiting on inheritance. She is 27 years old Ffs sake, not 17. Needs to grow the fuck up!

Maneattraction · 30/05/2026 14:18

I don’t see how you can come back from this in terms of a semi decent relationship with DSD after all this.
I would not be sitting down explaining my finances to DSD and her partner.

The level of entitlement is off the scale here.

PS-just to lighten things up on here, and I hope you see the funny side……don’t eat or drink ANYTHING they offer you. Ever. You know the story of the Australian woman and the mushroom dinner that killed her relatives…..