Can stables weigh my daughter rather than accept my word?

[TheQuaintLemonDuck]

Are stables entitled to weigh my daughter rather than just take my word for it?

No need to worry when everyone is weighed and assigned a horse of the correct size.

My cousin has a small horse and she won't ever let her DP ride it as he's too heavy. Also he's not experienced enough so more likely to hurt the horse. Putting too much weight on a pony is really bad for them.

You're saying you don't believe that people lie, but yet you don't want them to weigh her which makes it sound like the weight you're wanting to give them is a lie?

@TheQuaintLemonDuck on your other thread you asked about how to talk to your DD about her weight.

This is an ideal opportunity as you can now gently explain the stables will weigh her and why.

You can suggest she should provide an accurate weight to the stables so they can identify the right horse for her.

Then wait to see how she responds. Focus on not wanting to harm the horses rather than her weight. Only if she asks you for help discuss her weight.

You're making it sound like you think they are just weighing your daughter, having specifically disbelieved what you have put on her form. This sounds a bit like a guilty conscience to me, as my automatic assumption would be that they weigh every single child (as they should).

Even if you have put an accurate weight on the form others may have not, and they can't just single out children they think may have got an inaccurate weight recorded. So it's all or none specifically to avoid embarrassing any child, and you do say you understand why they need to have accurate weights for the good of the animals.

If they don’t think the weight youve given is accurate then of course they need to verify it for the welfare of their horses. If you or your daughter aren’t happy with this, you don’t need to agree to it and can choose not to ride at the stable.

In my experience parents lie. They don’t give a monkeys about the animal as long as their child gets what they want. Is there a reason you don’t want them to weigh her. ?

Come on OP. You know they're not being unreasonable. I know that, and I've not been near an equine since I was bucked off a donkey as a small child.

There was a lengthy thread last year where a parent was apparently blatantly lying about their daughter's weight and insisting she ride an unsuitable horse so that she could join in the horse camp or whatever it was. The stable owner was posting on here and getting quite frustrated about it.

But it's not even actively lying, what if your daughter has put on weight or lost weight since she was last weighed. If she's a child her weight is probably changing very frequently as she grows/goes through puberty etc. Unless you've weighed her that week, then the stables need to weigh her. And if you've weighed her that week, why are you so concerned about the stable weighing her?

Weight is a data point, in itself it has no judgement at all. If you're suggesting your daughter doesn't get weighed in a normal process then you're attributing something negative to the scales (she may already have absorbed this though, of course).

ETA: sorry I missed that you last weighed her 6 months ago, and have posted another thread today that you've noticed she's got more "visceral fat" which would indicate that she has put weight on in the last 6 months. But if this is the same daughter, then she's 17 and I expect she should be owning her own completion of forms and weigh ins at the stables. If she's younger than 17, then it's almost guaranteed that her weight will have changed in 6 months as most children of that age are still growing over the course of 6 months.

OP, knows full well that her DD's weight 6 months ago has increased. She has deliberately not got an up to date current weight as she know her DD won't get the desired pony.
So that is why the stables will check.
Do you really think that's a good lesson for your DD ?

where was that? I didn't see that thread

Of course she will likely have changed weight in 6m - kids grow in 6m so she is likely to be half a stone heavier, isn’t she? It may not show in her clothes or by sight, but it impacts the horse.

Exactly 👍
i hope they weigh everyone - poor horses and ponies -
why are people so entitled / selfish ????

You have clearly not spent much time around horses. 🤣

It sounds like you are trying to find it to get tips...

Why would she be embarrassed if they’re weighing all the kids, not just her?
Unless you’ve lied on the form and it’s blatantly obvious by looking at her?

This all seems very faux naive!

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/5359192-really-irritated-with-this-girls-mother

So do you have an issue with this or not? Otherwise what is the point of the thread?

I told a stables my weight and they emailed to say come back when you've ate less lunch!

It's for the safety of the horses, as pp have said. It's not personal. There should be no judgement...

Did you see the thread that you posted this afternoon though? The one where you talk about your daughter gaining weight and whether you should have a conversation with her about it?

Come on OP, the faux naivety ain’t cutting it.

Why aren't you answering the question about why you are concerned?

If your daughter weighs the same as you've put on the form, why would it be embarrassing?

If she weighs different, then she needs to be weighed whether it's embarrassing or not...

You say she’s off to pony camp - why not sneak a house brick or two (or five or six) in her rucksack, and see if she’s still happy to carry it to the car by herself? If you tell her the rucksack weighs the same as when she packed it, what’s the problem?

To be fair to OP, I think she cross posted this with my edit where I mentioned the other thread so she might not have seen that when she replied.

I’ll give her the benefit of the doubt on your say-so. 😉

This is nuts. Stop with the faux shock that people would lie about weight because they want to ride an unsuitable horse when thats exactly what youre trying to do! Of course they need to weigh her.