Horse riding dividing family

[Fatmamslim]

Not sure I know what I'm asking here..

But how do you cope if you have two children, one horse mad (13) and the other hates it?

We own a pony. Child is now competing and wants to spend every second of her life at the yard.

Younger sibling hates it. (8)

Weekends are spent divided as a family as I am at yard and dad is with younger child.

I work an intense job with unsociable hours which is the only reason we can afford said pony DH feels he never see's me and younger child starting to become resentful and says things like "great so another day I don't see you because of x's hobby" as we head out for yet more jobs/yard work/day of competing whatever.

I will admit I'm struggling with the balance. Daily I think about selling him and putting her back in a riding school but once a week but then I watch the joy in her face as she goes clear or gallops across the fields and know it would destroy her now. It is her life.

I feel pulled in all directions and I don't know how to fix it.

Just a thought, would a ‘horsey’ au pair help? She (usually a she!) could supervise yard time/ horse riding and free up your time for other things. Especially if they drive too

God yes they have! reading this brings back memories of when I went to Agricultural College, and was living there during the week, with my daughter staying at home. But sometimes, she came over with her dad and was actually assisting on the massive yard (probably 50 horses!), in and out of the stables and making herself useful in her own way - with absolutely no objection from staff (husband was there but he was not too knowledgeable, just an additional pair of hands).
She was seven!

Fast forward a few years, and we are on a private [mainly hunter-types, certainly all big apart from one elderly Shetland] yard (my TB, her first pony), and somehow a local fan club - the usual pre-teens, all girls - developed. But I discouraged it as gently as I could, and parents wouldn't take out insurance,, leaving me with a great amount of responsibility. And in fact, whenever daughter's friends came (by then 11-12 years old, there was always an accident, even a broken wrist or two!

One time, she and a friend were to meet me and the big horse after a little loop onto the edge of the golf course, and they managed to get lost! The friend's mother called me aa lot of bad names and her daughter never came again. Honestly,, they only needed to make one right turn at the end of the bridle path, up and over the (very safe, quiet hill, and wait by the post box..... ) Anyway, her hostility really stemmed form the fact that she was having an affair with my husband. You couldn't make it up - his reasoning was that I "spent too much time with the horses". Such a bloody cliche.)

OP - it's a real dilemma for you - and I do wish MNers wouldn't pile on like they do. As I said before, it would be so much easier if her interest could wane in an organic way - but it seems as though the opposite is happening!