Do parents thank you after residentials?

[DoctorLawn]

I've been thinking about this, since returning from a residential last Friday.

Three parents thanked me.

I'm not expecting all out gratitude, but I was quite taken aback by our return in general. They all stood in the path to the main school entrance, two parents and a childminder helped us get the luggage off the coach while the rest watched, and nobody moved aside without being asked.

It's a very upper middle class school - wondering if that means the parents are much more 'entitled' feeling than others?

clam 'How long before someone rocks up here asking whether teachers pay for their own trips and if not, why not?'

Usually about 5 posts before someone reminisces about a trip they went on in 1987 which the teachers clearly only organised so they could all cop off with each other. Oh & were rolling drunk for the entire week...

I love this - exactly why there are also the 'no residential trip - moan' threads!!! I ran a few long distance trips and accompanied more when I taught. I had to pay to have my pets looked after when I was away, get very little sleep for 4 nights, have the stress of ensuring everyone was ok, ate decent meals, didn't feel homesick, got on with their friends etc etc. I would always thank a bus/coach driver (and taught the children to), so it would never occur to me NOT to thank any future teachers who take my children on trips.

I agree, hulababy.

I have prompted my own kids to say 'Thank you' a million times and, finally, it's become second nature to them. It's a cliche I know, but good manners cost nothing.

I remember once, years ago, when ds would have been in KS1, one of the dinner ladies at school telling me that out of the several hundred children she served lunch to each day, ds was one of around only half a dozen who always said 'thank you.' I was touched that she'd noticed and felt appreciated.

I must be a bit odd because I bought Prosecco for the teacher who led dd's group on the three residentials she attended. Dd had a great time, her teacher supported her so that she took a full part in the residential despite the autism and helped dd to come home with all of her belongings (no mean feat) It wouldn't occur to me not to thank someone who has cared for my child for me.

Hula if I chose to (the operative word being chose) I would thank. No problem.

Even if I felt pressurised, but my child enjoyed it, I would thank.

If I felt pressurised and my child hated it, or even worse I had to go and collect them then thanks would not be naturally my first thought...

But hey, I'm human.

"But hey, I'm human."

What's that got to do with it?

As in I'm not invincible clam. Emotions do have an effect...

I remember on a school trip a few years back, we had a child who'd lost his dad in a house fire a year or two beforehand. He was very wobbly, but his mum had managed to persuade him to come on the trip.

One evening there was a campfire activity. The teacher-in-charge thought the child should go, for some reason. I had come across the lad in his room in the foetal position, crying, saying he didn't want to, not surprisingly. I had a row a discussion with the lead-teacher and insisted the boy (and a friend) should stay back with me. I got it in the neck but stood my ground. We played some board games, watched a bit of TV and I made hot chocolate.

When we got back, the lad's mum gave the lead-teacher a bottle of wine for being so understanding!

"Emotions do have an effect"

Not sure about that. When I was off my head with pain after being stretchered into an ambulance having broken my leg in three places, I still managed to apologise for being a nuisance and to thank the paramedics for being so kind and lovely. I think it's second nature - or rather, it should be, if you've been brought up that way.

Well in that case, if it had come to light, I would have shown my thanks to you clam. It's the ones like that lead teacher that concern me...

I honestly don't think that emotions are an excuse for not saying, "Thank you." Even when I am at my very most stressed, I am still polite.

Of course I would say thank you. But, the first time eldest did a week's residential - I was more concerned about him and how he'd got on that with finding the teacher to say thank you.

I did manage to say thank you and so did my son, but it had been a long week with little contact from the school and I had been very worried about him.

I suspect a lot of parents feel like that so the thanks would be fleeting at the actual pick up which can be quite chaotic.

But I then would have a general catch up/thank you chat the following week when back in school.

clam So you would be gushing thanks if your DC did not want to go on a residential, you'd felt pressurised in persuading them to go and it was a disaster and you had to collect them?

Remus good for you, but I would forgive you if you weren't.

Why? Why should it be okay to be rude? I would have to have completely lost control to not be at least quite polite.

Anyway, bored of this now. Night, folks.

Both the Year 5 & Year 7 residential a at my children's schools are compulsory.

It was a struggle to pay for the Year. 5 one. Ds loved it. Dd really wanted to go but didn't enjoy it.

In addition there was pressure to go on the year 3 one. Ds didn't want to go at first. & had to be persuaded.

Capsium, yes I would actually. Because if it had been a disaster, then the chances are that the staff would have spent a huge amount of time trying to help him. Calling the parent would have been the end result of much effort on their part to make it work. Any pressure you felt at persuading your child to go in the first place would have been in the belief that it was in their best interests.
I don't know the details of your situation, but I'd like to think I would have said that I was sorry it hadn't worked out but thanked them for trying.

Clam, I agree, I'm a thank you person. Can't help myself and encounter plenty of others who are that way inclined. Even when I deal with people for unspeakable offences I often get a thanks for the way I've dealt with them. It's an acknowledgement if how you have interacted with a person or situation regardless of outcome.

clam I admire your understanding but perhaps you could extend your understanding, as to why someone might find thanking in that circumstance difficult?

Are you possibly more familiar with the teacher's/ staff's experience, than the parent's, in this particular case scenario?

No. I think my kids have been on as many trips between them as I have accompanied as a teacher.

clam have those trips been wanted and enjoyed though?

How can a residential be compulsory?
What happens if you refuse to pay?
Or just not turn up?
Or if you just say no?

I am curious. I have seen schools advise they like all children to go, but never say it is compulsory.

Even at DD's secondary where the residential in y7 is part of the fees - so no extra asked for - it is still only advised. They don't - and can't I assume - force anyone.

I don't see that it matters, to be honest. How hard is it to acknowledge someone else's effort on your child's behalf, even if they didn't like it.

Capsicum, has your child ever been forced to go on a residential course without your consent?

Hula I don't believe it is, but schools can make it seem so.