Do parents thank you after residentials?

[DoctorLawn]

I've been thinking about this, since returning from a residential last Friday.

Three parents thanked me.

I'm not expecting all out gratitude, but I was quite taken aback by our return in general. They all stood in the path to the main school entrance, two parents and a childminder helped us get the luggage off the coach while the rest watched, and nobody moved aside without being asked.

It's a very upper middle class school - wondering if that means the parents are much more 'entitled' feeling than others?

scurry yes, I agree but you'll also appreciate schools can make it difficult.

Often the residentials in question are in primary, at a time when children, very reasonably might not be ready to go. Usually there is no year head. Only the head or class teacher to talk to. The head very probably is the one putting on the pressure, and the class teacher might have little say.

raven I have spoke to a few parents who were very worried. SEN and bullying were issues.

I would (and always have) thanked. Teachers: I'm incredibly grateful for when you've taken DS on residentials or indeed anything outside of the working day. Why on earth wouldn't people say a simple thanks? If the opportunity isn't there at collection time, an email to the school takes a few moments and I'm sure must clearly make a difference. Two examples: DS taken to see his first serious play by GCSE english teacher, who gave up her evening to do so. Email the next day to tell her how he couldn't stop chatting about how the experience had affected him. And - the incredible epic fortnight abroad, where the teacher in charge posted a daily blog, normally around midnight, with photos and anecdotes on the day's events. Again, no time to say thanks properly at the airport (though I managed to call out a "thanks" to one exhausted looking teacher who staggered past) but a card in the school's postbox a couple of days later - why on earth wouldn't I? And, indeed, at parent's evening, when the teachers are there at 19:30 after a full day at work: how could you not show gratitude that rather than being at home with their feet up, they're giving detailed account of our little darlings' prowess (or not).

Rant over.

Then the trip needs looking at, doesn't it? If it's not suitable for all the children or sufficiently well run to deal with bullying, that's a legitimate concern, absolutely.

But it's a separate issue to the 'parents saying thanks' that the OP raised. If my child's needs weren't met, that's a grounds for complaint, not a 'well I'm jolly well not saying thank you'!

The Head needs to know if there was serious parental unhappiness with the trip.

I tend not to say thank you because I'm not the one who went on the trip. But I made sure that the DC did.
It was very pleasing when they got to mid-teens and started saying 'thank you' spontaneously, without prompting from me.

Certainly raven but these were concerns of these parents. They were persuaded to let their children go. However you could understand if it if they still had reservations. These issues had been ongoing for some time. So, as a result, I could understand if a parent was not gushing thanks, before they had seen and spoken to their child.

"I tend not to say thank you because I'm not the one who went on the trip."

But the staff have looked after your child for a week in your place. They've acted in loco parentis and presumably deserved the trust you put in them to do that. They have probably comforted them, jollied them along, woken them up in the morning, made sure they'd eaten enough, provided laughs, offered them sick bags and so on. Why wouldn't that be worth a simple thanks?

And given up seeing their own dcs voluntarily to look after yours.

Yes, I say thank you because it's good manners and they've worked hard to keep the children safe and happy.

I annoy my children when they've got off the coach by waiting to say thanks to the teacher!

I don't want them to though Feenie, as I have said.

I was probably in the background mumbling some gratitude - because I didn't want to take up the teacher's time when they are trying to wind everything up and get home - but I think the first and most important thanks should come from the DC.

But why is a thank you from the child not as valuable as a thank you from the parents, clam? If a parent is making sure that the child has said thank you, then that's teaching the child manners. If somebody does something for you then you say thanks, the trip isn't for the parents benefit, it's for the child's benefit, therefore it should be the child who says thankyou.

Boggling about all these Child Catcher teachers....after all, there's nothing teachers would rather do than give up their time to take our children on trips.........

It would probably be best all round if you refused to send your children next time, capsium, rather than advocating that the staff cease to give up their time to take those students who do appreciate & benefit from the opportunity?

Hak on the face of it it does seem mind boggling. But with pressure coming from above to impress OFSTED, along with taking a certain professional pride, in the 'outreach' style of education you can see how it happens..that and having to plan for other activities to provide an alternative.

To think that there are some parents on MN who don't see why they should thank someone who has done their best to give their kid a great experience for a few days, and yet froth and screech about rudeness and entitlement when they receive a gift list in a wedding invitation.

Fucking weird

raven I just want genuine (un pressurised) choice and transparency.

Of course I thanked the teachers when I went to pick my DS up after a residential - they'd kept my baby safe for a week! And I emailed them afterwards with a proper thank you.

The coach had a narrow space to unload and I did help with the luggage. Was amazed at the (younger, stronger, fitter) parents who stood there and watched us wrestle with their darlings' suitcases, though.

Hester I don't mind gift lists. They make life very easy and can sometimes provide a laugh or two into the bargain.

Hester I suspect they probably aren't the same posters. I certainly would never think it rude or entitled to include a gift list in a wedding invitation, it makes it easier. Yet I am somebody who thinks that a thank you from a child should be worth just as much as a thank you from a parent, and I always receive thanks from the pupils I take away.

No ,of course I don't refuse to thank people for helping my child. I just don't go out of my way to repeat a thanks that my child has already given. If I'm speaking to a teacher then I will thank them, if they are busy and it's going to be an effort to catch their eye, then I don't worry about it.

I think I was a bit silly to bring gift lists into it TBH. It was one of those moments I should have sat on my hands.