Do parents thank you after residentials?

[DoctorLawn]

I've been thinking about this, since returning from a residential last Friday.

Three parents thanked me.

I'm not expecting all out gratitude, but I was quite taken aback by our return in general. They all stood in the path to the main school entrance, two parents and a childminder helped us get the luggage off the coach while the rest watched, and nobody moved aside without being asked.

It's a very upper middle class school - wondering if that means the parents are much more 'entitled' feeling than others?

Capsium - you clearly have an axe to grind, but this thread seems a strange place to do so. It is a basic courtesy to say, "Thank you" to people who have been looking after your child, on a residential that you will have chosen to send them on (since none are, to my knowledge, obligatory).

Whatever concerns you have about education, your children's teachers, residentials, whatever, this thread isn't really about that, it's about the OP who (like many of us on here) believes that saying, 'Thank you" is a basic courtesy which many people no longer seem to recognise.

My teacher friend got given a gift pack with nice biscuits, some hand cream and so on before going on a outbound style residential with her year 6 class.

You say thank you because it's polite

I'm a guide and brownie leader

I don't do it for the thanks if I did I wouldn't do it but it's always nice to get some

I am absolutely jaw-droppingly staggered at this thread!!

"And I'd be more fixed on my child & getting them sorted with their stuff etc than saying thank you to the teachers. After all its the school that wanted them to go in the first place."

"Teachers seem to increasingly want to be thanked"

"If the teachers don't want to go, I really wish they would actually say something and stop organising them. If they do, why is thanking so important?"

"They also looked like they just wanted us to take our children and go, not stand around waiting to thank them when they wanted to go home too."

I think that, on the strength of this thread alone, I shall point-blank refuse ever to organise/accompany a school trip again.

Whatever has happened in our society, that some people have become so entitled and rude, rude, rude?

it's the them and us thing

Oddly, like most jobs, teaching occasionally involves being expected, & strongly encouraged by the boss person, to do 'over & above' stuff one might rather not - although increasingly, teachers are refusing.

I run several, & it's getting harder each year to find volunteers to accompany the trips.

I'm not actually offended by the lack of thanks! Just occasionally a tad surprised, when the same parents are normally perfectly polite in every other context. As PPs have said, I'd always thank anyone who looked after my own children - I've always thought that was a social given.

I knew some parents genuinely thought we got paid/a free jolly/both, but it's a new one on me that we don't deserve a thank you because we're coercing the kids into going in the first place!

To the teachers - what is the attitude in your profession to residentials? Are they seen as a necessary evil / worth the hassle (and I do completely understand its a hassle). Is it part of the National Curriculum? Is it seen as desirable / essential and at what age?

Sorry for all the questions, but I see this as a much more interesting part of the thread than "should you say thank you" (of course you bloody should!)

This thread has made me think about who I say thank you to (everybody!) and why I do it.

It is a reflex, a lot of the time, but I don't think that that devalues a 'thank you'. I think it shows that the thanker recognises that the thankee has done something that has benefited them in some way (even if services paid for, like a manicure or a haircut, or receiving change in a shop), and is basic good manners.

Remus no axe to grind. However, I have had to be rather warrior like in the past though, so perhaps that colours my perspective, somewhat.

I must say I don't like it, though, when people are unforgiving of less than immaculate manners, at every point. It seems self absorbed to me. Some people gush thanks and hugs out liberally, some don't, but show their thanks in other ways. Some people get absorbed in other things and may neglect to give their thanks automatically, but do so at a later date. I just don't like the grumbling attitude that expects thanks all the time.

But I have thanked teachers (and given gifts and volunteered occasionally)... Go figure.

I say thank you to our nanny at the end of every day and thank you to my daughters nursery staff at every pick up. Anyone who's looked after my children, even for five minutes, would get a thank you - it's an important job to me. I don't think its a reflex either, I think its genuine appreciation.

I really wanted to thank my children's teachers when they came back from a recent residential. But it was CHAOS - there were at least 3 different coaches, crowds of parents and siblings waiting, it was 3.15 so mad busy anyway, road full of traffic. It just wasn't possible to even get near a teacher. The coach drivers got the luggage off the bus then the kids got out and went to their parents and got their case. There wasn't room on the pavement to hang around queuing up to speak to the teacher to say thanks, while they were probably trying to deal with practicalities like lost property etc.

That said, I fully intended to send in an email at least to school to thank the teachers for their hard work. And life has just got in the way. It's secondary school entrance test time and there has always been something else to do. I will leave it till parents eve in a couple of weeks to pass on my thanks.

HandMini - They are definitely worth the hassle. Yes, they are a pain to organise, and you never get much sleep because you tend to wait for all the children to settle down (and they're in dorms, so that is late ) and there are always homesick / poorly sick children to comfort and care for. Not to mention helping the anxious parents who find it hard to let their children go.

They help build relationships, enable the adults to see the children in different ways / how they relate to others / develop various skills, help the children to share property and rooms, negotiating decisions, oh my goodness, all sorts. It is so worthwhile.

I don't think it's part of the National Curriculum, but I do suspect Ofsted would query why children weren't given the opportunity of a residential. It really is a pretty standard thing at primary.

You ask a good question HandMini.

Our school residentials were driven by the parents asking for residential trips.

They can support the curriculum and many children respond positively to subjects shown in a new light. It offers children new opportunities to see different places and do different activities within a very social and exciting environment.

I think some schools feel that they have to do them in order to keep up with other schools that offer them... Parent-driven usually.

At primary I always made sure that DD said thank you to her teachers before leaving to go home, after a residential. And usually I said thank you too and ask them if it had gone well - chatty rather than nosey; it was a small school so everything like that was friendly and quite informal.

However, I have never helped with luggage - here the children have always gone to get their own case with the driver and a teacher taking them out of the coach.

This thread reminds me that I need to email DD's secondary school with a very quick thank you to her french teacher - she went away last week, coming back at the weekend. Didn't get chance on arrival home, though DD did.

When I was teaching secondary I only did one residential - never again! I was shattered, lol. I don't remember any parent saying thanks tbh. I work in an infant school now - no residentials, phew!

It's very divided, I'd say, HandMini.

Some things are part of the NC, but there's nearly always a cheap, local option - schools do see offering 'blue chip' trips as a selling point, judging by the Open Evenings I've recently attended for ds.

I really think residentials are valuable & worth the hassle.

I have increasing number of colleagues who won't go near one - which is mostly a consequence of overwhelming workload, & demonisation in the media, eroding the goodwill that fuels people to volunteer, IMO.

It's practically impossible to take kids away in term time now, too. Quite possibly a good thing, but it means teachers not only have to give up their own leisure time at weekends & over holidays, many then have to organise/pay for childcare whilst they're away.

It's certainly not without problems.

My DS went on 3 residential school trips in secondary school. I gave his form teacher a bottle of whisky and a thank you card for each. I'm an ex teacher and have experienced numerous residentials - quite often I didn't really want to spend time from my own family but recognised the value in the trips for pupils. Hats off to teachers who participate in these trips - it's not a jolly but an organisational nightmare.

I always send in a thank you card after and give some goodies for the teachers to take with them. Having done them myself, I know how tiring they are and a huge responsibility.

I get very few thanks but always say thank you myself. It seems basic good manners to me, no more than that. Can't believe some people put so much thought into why they shouldn't thank other people for something. It just strikes me as a reflection of what is increasingly wrong with our self-centred society.

How long before someone rocks up here asking whether teachers pay for their own trips and if not, why not?

Whaaaat? I'm staggered by the rudeness of some people on this thread!
I'm with Handmini in saying thank you to ds's nursery everyday (and encouraging ds to say it too)
If I see dd's teacher I thank her too.
If someone doesn't deserve a thank you for looking after your child for days at a time (often at the expense of their own children) then the world really has gone mad.

I do it from good manners, it wouldn't occur to me not to wherever possible.

I thank the cabin crew when I get off a plane.
I thank the bus driver when I get off the bus.
I thank the Ocado man for delivering my shopping.
I say thank you to a waiter when they bring me my food.
I say thank you for good service.

They all get paid for doing that job. But to me it is just good manners to thank them.

I wouldn't say thank you for poor service or something I wasn't pleased with.

But a teacher who has taken up her/his own time to look after my child on a residential - of course I would. I am not forced to send my child - I choose to. And my DD has always had a good time, never come home upset. The teachers have always done a good job in getting my DD home safely and happy.

I would not only thank the teachers, I would feel gratitude too for the effort involved in the trip and for looking after my child. I would also send my DC over to the teachers to say thank you.

Wow, I am stunned that people do not say thank you! Bloody hell. I also do the same (thanks from me and DC) for playdates, parties, walking them home from Brownies etc, etc, etc. Fuck me. I need .

Teachers - from my experiences (oldest DC Yr4) some of you tap into my DCs a bit better than others, some get my DCs better than others, some I have clicked with better than others. But I thank you. For teaching my children. For touching their shoulder or hair to let them know you care. For stepping in if they (or someone else) needs a cuddle, to be told to calm down or be told to stop talking. For setting their work. For marking their working. For making science lessons more interesting this year than last year. For b,eing open enough for me to have been able to voice that DD found them boring last year. For caring. Thank you.

Oh and also a thank you to the teacher who was a bit shit at teaching due to stuff going on in her personal life but took the wisely took the decision to leave the profession - cannot have been easy - but I hope you are happier now.

I, and three other adults, gave up a week annual leave to take children in scout camps. We don't get a thank you from most parents although this year we did get a box of chocolates from one of them

On this basis, I think any thanks teachers get is lucky.

Ive been in Guiding all my life and have helped on / attended numerous pack holidays and camps. I agree that it's a great experience for kids, but it's not something I will expect school to provide. I'm amazed that parent (and Ofsted) expectation is that schools do this kind of thing.

capsium - no one forces you to go on a school residential ime. Even at DD's primary where generally 100% of the class go, fif the odd one doesn't want to there is no pressure. They get to stay at school and join the other class. The class below dd's had a y3 child who didn't want to go - the school were fine, gave her activities with the y2 classes and one of the days even drove her to the activity centre just for the day - and brought her back - so she didn;t mis out on everything.

I guess your child's school may be different with a lot of pressure - which is not good - but ime most are not.

However if you did choose to send your child on a residential one time, it would obviously be nice if you or your child said an informal thanks on leaving pick up.