Unofficial Draft Guide to RFF

[MrsStarkey]

Was I the only one that felt a little badly for the MN team member who tried to get our input in order to help build a guide for this forum recently? That didn’t go as planned!

Am in the only one who laughed about Justine’s “The Royal family forum
is deranged” comment and can take it in stride? That thread was definitely an example!

I am proposing we try again and help crowd source a guide. I just ask that we don’t be so RFF, and have a sense of humor while we do so. I’ll paste my draft attempt below. Everyone is welcome to contribute however they like.

If the internet and talk forums such as mn were safe spaces, people would feel no need for anonymous usernames and not posting personal information that is outing , I think everyone must realise this on some level, I’m not sure why anyone would disagree with your sentiments.

I’ve grown weary of the words “adults” and “mature” as they sound very judgmental and scolding. Could you kindly avoid? Let’s also make this thread to be a “safe space” for people to not feel attacked.

I don't like the repetition.

The reality is that people have - shall we say - less obvious digs eg there was someone saying yesterday that they " do not turn away " from the hard stuff. Now we ALL know that this is a dig at people who do not share their same view. It's setting that person up with a higher moral standard. We all know it 😂 We all know what people mean when they say " how odd/ Im baffled/ really?/ I'm surprised to read this on a mothers' forum/ blah blah" . I was an innocent when I came to MN. I didn't realise the tactics people employed to get at others. I now know. If you don't have the appetite for these things and they affect you so badly then I would hazard a guess that any kind of public posting is for you.

This post illustrates what I'm talking about.

Spot on. Bravo.

Sorry any kind of public posting is NOT for you.

@savemydrawers
We all know what people mean when they say " how odd/ Im baffled/ really?/ I'm surprised to read this on a mothers' forum/ blah blah" . I was an innocent when I came to MN. I didn't realise the tactics people employed to get at others
This 100%

@CathyorClaire I agree with keeping one board. Otherwise you will have an echo chamber.

On the current board, people will disagree with you but not threaten you. I remember a few years back having a few posters go after me to the point where I felt unsafe reading their posts. People get annoyed now but not frightened.

Hi @BemusedAmerican

Did you see the post from MNHQ on this thread?

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/site_stuff/5563433-new-or-split-board-request-republican-board?page=1

I found it heartening and helpful.

@MrsStarkey Thank you for posting the link. I hadn't seen it. I loved the poster who thought that a republican was a Trump supporter 😆. That made my evening.

Ha! I missed that bit. Will go back and reread.

I think it was a good discussion and most especially agree with Becky’s conclusion.

Am sorry to read that you’ve had these bad experiences. I hope others who claim it’s all one-sided will take note. No one deserves that.

This thread seems to have slowed down and for that I feel a tad responsible, apologies @MrsStarkey!
im not sure if anyone who was concerned about changes to the board got around to seeing the message there by mnhq and as I’m not sure it’s allowed to copy a post over from another thread, I wanted to let everyone know….nothing is changing , nothing is happening.
I would however add , it really is worth going to read the message ( it’s literally the third last one) , it really is clear and excellent.

I think you can copy it over, @jeffgoldblum, because it's relevant and you'd be doing it to be helpful i.e. in good faith.

Can I? , I’m not sure how though autumn , before the updates to the app , I would have just copied and pasted it , unfortunately that is no longer possible, so I would have to think of another method 🤔

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/site_stuff/5563433-new-or-split-board-request-republican-board?reply=154025427?utm_campaign=thread&utm_medium=app_share

Nope! , this is the best I can do unfortunately 🤷‍♀️

That's fine, I reckon - it goes straight to MNHQ's post, which for ease is this:

"BeckyAMumsnet · 08/08/2026 15:45
Thanks all - we’ve read through the thread and, if nothing else, we can confidently report that there is no consensus about what the problem is, never mind the solution. 😄
Some posters would like a separate space for discussions about republicanism, others think those conversations belong perfectly well alongside discussion of the royal family, and quite a few of you are understandably wary of creating separate camps or echo chambers.
We’ve also seen the wider concerns being raised about the atmosphere on some threads. Having looked at this, we think there’s an important distinction to make in that people disagreeing strongly with you, challenging your argument or simply having a very different posting style isn’t necessarily bullying or harassment. Mumsnet would be a considerably quieter place if disagreement itself were against the Talk guidelines.
That doesn’t mean anything goes and we can see we've moderated quite a number of posts on this board of late. Personal attacks, goading, deliberate derailment and other guideline breaches are still things we’ll moderate, regardless of which royal personage (if any) you favour.
What seems increasingly clear to us is that this isn't simply a neat divide between monarchists and republicans, or Meghan fans and non-Meghan fans. There are different opinions, different senses of humour and rather different ideas about how these threads should work, all occupying the same bit of Talk. We'd ask that you endeavour to stick to our long-held rules in the interests of keeping this board as a place where a wide variety of views are tolerated.
Thanks.
MNHQ"

Nice tone, helpful content there from BeckyMN.
............................

RFF Guidline 27: listen carefully to MNHQ

Many thanks autumn ! , yes I think it covers everything nicely 👍

Good that it’s settled and that your site stuff thread provided everyone a chance to weigh in on the idea.

Becky’s post should be pinned if there ever is a forum guide here.

I don’t typically use the pigeon metaphor but I do get it and also now understand the accusations that posters are collaborating, though strongly doubt it happens frequently.

Some posters seem flock in, make an argument, refuse to engage in any meaningful discussion or push back around that argument, fly away until they can turn the conversation to something more palatable, then fly away again.

For anyone wanting an example, it’s happened whenever proof that Harry briefed the media is mentioned. Also when the white pill is mentioned. It’s like watching someone with fingers firmly placed in ears yelling “LA, LA, LA, I can’t hear you!” Then talking about Diana.

its a shame this thread got killed. it was interesting and fun in parts.
im glad mn hq didn't go with the strange request to split the boards.
this topic should be open to anyone new or old.
I do think mn hq were wrong and that the pigeon stuff is on par with troll hunting.

We are all entitled to our opinions.

It doesn’t mean to say they are right.

I know nothing about pigeons apart from the ones that come in the garden.

Can’t get excited about it if I’m honest.

I’d rather whatever the pigeon stuff is was banned instead of troll hunting.

I reckon there would be far more fun in that. It would cut down the amount of posters considerably.

What Mn says goes though I suppose. Maybe one day we will be allowed that particular sport.

I think it’s silent rather than silenced. Glad you had some fun!

I agree with that last post before your withdrawn one in the other thread. It wasn’t a strange request in the context of people claiming to feel unwelcome when their attempts to change the topic in an active thread aren’t successful or when people disagree with them.

But I also agree with Becky’s conclusion.

I agree - I don’t think the thread was killed. Sometimes threads finish when what has needed to be said is said.

Better that than a thread dying a slow and protracted death where folk desperately scrabble for something relevant to post on it. 🤷🏽

They also finish when people don’t want to answer certain questions. It’s tactic to just ignore the bits that don’t fit for them. Harry and the white pill, for instance.

That reminds me that no one who was crossly mentioning “cheese and pigeons” respond to the questions about why a dairy product would be so offensive.