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The royal family

Best advice for Harry going forward?

1000 replies

SandyThumb · 03/05/2025 11:43

I have all the same initial reactions as many others on MN regarding Harry i.e. whiner, grifter, stupid, entitled etc and it's easy to dole out the criticism.

However while I wouldn't say I have sympathy for him, as so much of his situation is of his own making, I actually do have some underlying feelings of concern for him and his future (and children).

He reminds me an awful lot of a relative of mine who is neurodiverse with a mild learning disability and a tendency to be self-absorbed with an overdeveloped victim complex - always lashing out, blaming others, seeing conspiracy where there is none etc.

Harry is clearly a damaged man, with childhood trauma and issues which continue to plague his mental health.
As with my relative, he has grown up with a support network which has probably quietly managed and enabled his passage through life, but when big outbursts happen (as have happened in our family too) everyone backs off and 'grey rocks' him until he has calmed down. Some people just give up, too exhausted by the constant drama of it all.

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SandyThumb · 03/05/2025 11:43

It's not clear if Harry has any/ many true friends and confidantes left, but if there are any, how should they be advising him?

Personally I think he should step back from public life completely (let Meghan do her own thing) and try to find a sense of purpose / throw himself completely into a different role or job?

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MrsLeonFarrell · 03/05/2025 11:49

The problem with any advice is that Harry doesn't appear to listen to anything that doesn't line up with his existing narrative.

I would say, take five years to work with a therapist you are prepared to listen to. Offer a true olive branch to your family leading with an apology. Stop talking to the press.

Mysterian · 03/05/2025 12:00

My advice would be to shut up. Shut up, shut up, shut up! Then IN PRIVATE talk to a go between such as an Arch Bish about a reconciliation with family. Ideally with a professional relationship resolver present.

And stay shut up about it.

Sirzy · 03/05/2025 12:02

I think like too many people he thinks too much needs to be in the public eye.

if he wants any chance of reconciliation he needs to learn to keep things private. At the moment there is too much chance of any conversation being weaponised

SandyThumb · 03/05/2025 12:02

Mysterian · 03/05/2025 12:00

My advice would be to shut up. Shut up, shut up, shut up! Then IN PRIVATE talk to a go between such as an Arch Bish about a reconciliation with family. Ideally with a professional relationship resolver present.

And stay shut up about it.

Yes, and an apology to the RF for all the revelations in his book needs to be part of that, but as this recent interview shows he doesn't seem to understand why that is necessary? Just goes on about forgiving them!

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PrettyFlyforaMaiTai · 03/05/2025 12:03

My advice would be:

SHUT UP!

Live the private life that you wanted. Live modestly (by their standards), live quietly and enjoy your gorgeous family. If your birth family want to reconcile, let them come to you. But most importantly…

SHUT THE FUCK UP!

He just keeps digging his own grave every time he opens his silly little mouth.

Tbrh · 03/05/2025 12:03

I think the problem is he has no talent and he needs money. At least Meghan is trying to make some, even though she gets criticism for it

MorningSunlight · 03/05/2025 12:05

I can’t see how he can come back from it all, nobody will ever trust him again.

Penko25 · 03/05/2025 12:08

Interesting. I also have a relative very similar to him. Always blames everyone else & completely unable to see their own role in the disaster of their life.

He needs to show some dignity, keep family matters private & get on with the life he chose in California.

Fluffyholeysocks · 03/05/2025 12:10

I agree, go back home and take a period to reflect. No more rushed knee jerk interviews, no podcasts, no 'tours', award shows or charity 'visits'. Find a purpose - something he is passionate about - not something that will give him headlines for 5 minutes then he loses interest. You can always tell when someone is passionate and cares for something deeply rather than someone jumping on a bandwagon for the 'likes'. Unfortunately his life in the US doesn't really accommodate this, so it's going to be difficult. I'd also suggest talking to one of his old mentors/advisors from before his marriage (if he still has one he trusts). I dont think he's currently getting the best advise/PR.

Mumdiva99 · 03/05/2025 12:11

Well he should stop giving interviews for a start. Yesterdays was completely unnecessary. For most people the court case would be a headline one day and gone the next.....now he's back on the front pages. But not in a positive way.

He wanted to leave public life.....so leave.
Get a job.....a real job.....apologise to the family and slowly repair the damage. Quietly and privately.

SocksShmocks · 03/05/2025 12:16

If he thinks giving an interview will advance the cause of reconciliation with his family then I’m not sure there’s much helping him to be honest.

If he genuinely wants reconciliation he needs to show his behaviour has changed. And even then I’m seriously doubtful it would work.

I do think it’s sad. I mean there’s greater tragedies in the world but it is sad.

CreationNat1on · 03/05/2025 12:18

Harry could act as a positive USA/UK relationship advisor and try to bolster USA/UK RELATIONS. Trump sees him as one of the downtrodden bros. Harry could try to be the All American, All UK good guy. Seeking ways to ensure a special place at the cross border trade table. He should just drop all the Royal arguments and be Harry an ambassador for the UK. He also has influence in Canada, Harry could find a new niche if he was interested and supported.

KatherineParr · 03/05/2025 12:21

My advice would honestly be to forget about the UK and being part of the Royal Family and focus on building a life for himself in the States that doesn't involve dwelling on the past. He may not be a working royal anymore, and I think his birth family relationships are broken beyond repair, but he has other things to be thankful for. He has a wife whom he loves, two healthy children, and his Chimpo role, which I think brings in £1m. Meghan's business will hopefully bring in more. They will still be getting some income from Netflix and Lemonada, plus whatever is left from Spare and the money he inherited from Diana/the Queen Mother. I'm sure the Queen will have left him a bit too. He has the foundations for a really good life, if he can just learn to be thankful for what he's got.

Problem is, that Harry doesn't listen to advice he doesn't like.

ButterCrackers · 03/05/2025 12:21

A public and private apology by him and his wife for the Oprah interview and the same by him for his book.

LiesDoNotBecomeUs · 03/05/2025 12:22

How great could Harry be as a relationship advisor @CreationNat1on? His track record is all against him 😁and we don't really want international relations to look like those he has with his own family!

MayaKovskaya · 03/05/2025 12:24

Tbrh · 03/05/2025 12:03

I think the problem is he has no talent and he needs money. At least Meghan is trying to make some, even though she gets criticism for it

I agree. At least she's moved away from dishing royal dirt.

TheignT · 03/05/2025 12:25

I don't think things can improve unless he accepts and acknowledges that this isn't all something that has been done to him. His behaviour hasn't been great and it is understandable that his family would be wary about having him around as who knows what casual remark will be published out of context making them look bad.

I think it is sad, he seems so sad but he doesn't seem to have any insight about what went wrong.

MayaKovskaya · 03/05/2025 12:25

ButterCrackers · 03/05/2025 12:21

A public and private apology by him and his wife for the Oprah interview and the same by him for his book.

Yes, that would be a start. Then apologise for the lies told on Netflix, tv and magazine interviews.

Uricon2 · 03/05/2025 12:25

I think he should shut up, go home, abandon this security "battle", take a good time totally out of the public eye, think seriously about how things got to this point (in therapy if necessary), work out what he really wants to do for the second half of his life and after this perhaps put out feelers to his father with sincere promises of total privacy.

I actually believe though that he is likely to do the exact opposite of all these things.

MayaKovskaya · 03/05/2025 12:26

He just needs to shut up.

Fluffyholeysocks · 03/05/2025 12:28

Uricon2 · 03/05/2025 12:25

I think he should shut up, go home, abandon this security "battle", take a good time totally out of the public eye, think seriously about how things got to this point (in therapy if necessary), work out what he really wants to do for the second half of his life and after this perhaps put out feelers to his father with sincere promises of total privacy.

I actually believe though that he is likely to do the exact opposite of all these things.

I agree with this except for the therapy suggestion. I think he's had too much therapy tbh.

BemusedAmerican · 03/05/2025 12:29

He needs to find a good financial planner and take their advice.

MayaKovskaya · 03/05/2025 12:31

Drop all the desperation for top level security. Accept that the Home Office, paid for by the UK taxpayer, will provide good and appropriate protection. No-one - not the Home Office, not his family, not the public, not even Republicans want to see him harmed.
Just let it be.

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