Best advice for Harry going forward?

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I have all the same initial reactions as many others on MN regarding Harry i.e. whiner, grifter, stupid, entitled etc and it's easy to dole out the criticism.

However while I wouldn't say I have sympathy for him, as so much of his situation is of his own making, I actually do have some underlying feelings of concern for him and his future (and children).

He reminds me an awful lot of a relative of mine who is neurodiverse with a mild learning disability and a tendency to be self-absorbed with an overdeveloped victim complex - always lashing out, blaming others, seeing conspiracy where there is none etc.

Harry is clearly a damaged man, with childhood trauma and issues which continue to plague his mental health.
As with my relative, he has grown up with a support network which has probably quietly managed and enabled his passage through life, but when big outbursts happen (as have happened in our family too) everyone backs off and 'grey rocks' him until he has calmed down. Some people just give up, too exhausted by the constant drama of it all.

You may be correct Maya !
im just amazed that posters who seem intelligent enough believe all the obviously dubious things he says and does!

Why did he quit ‘the firm’ - wasn’t it to allow his family to exist out of the public eye? And yet he does everything he can to stay on the front pages, MM keeps doing little TV things….I’m lost!

The bloke is clueless as to how well off and privileged he is. He had it all - the money and access to anything, without the pressure and duty PW has…

Shut up you bloody spoilt kid. I’m sick of paying for people who could fund themselves many times over as it is, without this little oik constantly throwing tantrums. Get a real job, be thankful for what you have and STFU, we aren’t interested.

I think because the Sussexes keep saying it. They keep telling the same stories.
Some people actually believe that they don't get security in the UK! 😂

He needs to keep the head down , grow up and get on with building a life for himself. He needs to accept the way things are now and not keep wishing they could be how he wants. He needs to move on and let it go. His whole oh woe is me act is wearing , he has so much privilege and it's just wasted.

It really angers me when his fans go on about his Mum dying when he was so young . He isn’t an only child . William also lost his Mum but hasn’t accused his family of killing her !

No, he certainly hasn't, and hasn't became a perpetual victim, he has worked hard to overcome it and create a happy family life. In spite of having far more pressure than Harry and far more responsibility.

Get some therapy. Lay off the drugs. Focus on the future.

Get the right therapy because what he had so far hasn’t worked.

Let it go would be my advice to Harry and er “ shut the fuck up”

Maybe it has! Imagine that……

He needs to move on. It's been 5 years since Megxit and he has his answer now. As a born royal its going to be hard to be a regular citizen yet earn what he needs to maintain his family's lifestyle.

Not sure how he thinks this is going to pave the road to reconciliation. I should imagine the interview would also put off current and potential employers too

He and his family live in California so of course he will lose touch with his extended family eventually. Thinking he could just pop over to the UK is unrealistic.

What I found really interesting is that he's done exactly what Meghan's father did by bleating to anyone who will listen and that helped no one.

100% - plus Harry sees William and Kate in the bosom of the family - his family too, their life mapped out and secure. William has had to reconcile the loss of his mother, but has a very strong support network, which has neutralised a lot of the trauma.

Harry has brought the rift on himself, but he seems to be in deep pain, on the outside looking in and knows he can't wind back the clock, and is probably angry at himself for messing up. And no support network to alleviate the gnawing pain of his childhood (his mother's death and also his father's abandonment).

if only he could get out of the hole he has dug himself into. ..

He needs to shut up. He wanted a private life but has consistently done things to keep him in the limelight. If he truly wanted reconciliation he wouldn’t have done another bloody interview. I would say that yesterdays interview will be the final nail in the coffin!!

Posters need to stop repeating this myth of privacy.

They never said they wanted to be private individuals/a couple.

What they wanted was to stop doing any Royal duties whilst still taking over £1 p.a. from Charles, retain their security whilst hopping across the Atlantic, not participating in the royal press rotation and monetising their connection with the Royal Family.

In short, all the good and not of the tedious bits.

The plan was always to build a mega (rival) global royal brand in the US and become part of the uber wealthy elite.

Problem is they overestimated their appeal/importance (and skills) as individuals, pissed all over the family/insitution/country that gave them the platform they wanted to monetise and totally fucked up their marketing/brand through undermining their own credibility and a failure to reflect/take advice.

I don’t think he’s angry with himself. I think he genuinely believe everything he’s brought down on himself is someone else’s fault. The RF’s fault .

That story about the Nazi costume was false. He lied about it—or, as he likes to say, it was his truth, not the truth. It was just another attempt to shift blame onto someone else. Sound familiar? And who better to blame than William and Catherine?

According to shopkeeper Maud Franklin —who spoke to The Independent—Catherine had nothing to do with it. Harry went to the store and picked out the costume himself (William and a friend were with him). (Article is on the internet)

As for the “who made who cry” story—that was a storm in a teacup. Apparently, Catherine sent a text message, and that alone supposedly reduced someone to tears? A strong, independent woman was on the floor crying over a text by the time Harry got home? Please.
It’s unbelievable that people still believe anything they say. So many of their claims have been debunked, yet people keep falling for them.

Then there’s the claim about not being allowed to seek mental health support because “the royals wouldn’t allow it.” But other royals—Diana, Charles, William, and even Harry himself—have all received mental health support.
In fact, during the Oprah interview, when she said she didn’t get help, Oprah asked Harry if he told his family. He said no—because he was ashamed. So how can they now blame the family if he never even asked?
And in his own book, Harry said he had his therapist on speed dial after his fight with William. Clearly, access wasn’t the issue.

They twist narratives to suit whatever point they’re trying to make in the moment. They’re master manipulators—and it’s astonishing how many people still take their every word at face value.

Get on with living a happy and fulfilling life in the US. Perhaps train to something new as @EsmaCannonball suggests.

Stop talking about the RF and the past, move forward. He’s only 40, he probably has another 50 years ahead of him. He could do so much with his life.

Reading these threads makes me realise why so many people fall for romance scams, they will believe anything, absolutely anything their beloved tells them.

I mean there is only one possible response to the thread title right?

🤐zip it

I think Harry has probably made things more unsafe for the rest of the RF, the ones who don’t have full time security, there is so much discussion about those who don’t have the kind of security Harry has, it must make them all a bit more vulnerable.

sorry wrong thread

Given that H&M do read social media, I will gamely give my advice.

1. Stop talking to the press. Stop buying bots and emailing media outlets such as People magazine
2. Get a good family picture with A&L. Take a long hard look at it and think of all the social penalties your innocent kids are already paying because of your foolish behavior
3. Get thee to rehab. A proper one. Do not leave until sober
4. Once you are done with rehab, go home and fire your entire PR team
5. Call off the Sussex squad. Even if they turn on you denounce them
6. Call Christopher Geidt and Edward Lane Fox. Apologise. Beg for help. Follow the advice they give to you.
7. Veterans deserve better. So do the victims of African Parks. Either run your charities properly (ELF can be a lifeline if you actually listen) or resign and let the charities find more capable patrons/Board members
8. You insulted your family of origin in public, you apologise to them in public
9. Write 3 letters of abject apology to your father, your brother and your SIL, with no expectation of acknowledgement or response
10. Start sincerely apologising to those you wronged. Call Tiggy, your band of brothers, the school matron, the poor girl you outed as your first sexual encounter, the RPOs you disrespected and beat up, the men in grey you behaved badly with...you've got a really long list. Get to it.
11. Leave California. Go get a ranch in Wyoming and fade out of public view
12. Take parenting classes and be an involved father. Get marriage counselling / classes to work things out with your wife since the pair of you look miserable together.

And that is my 2 cents on the matter.

First:
Shut up. Don't speak to the media about anything to do with the family at all. If absolutely put into a corner be minorly positive. not great gushing statements, but a simple positive comment.

Second:
Also shut up. Stop letting the press know where they're going etc.

Third:
Still shut up. Stop leaking comments to the press either themselves or via others.

Fourth:
Shut others up. Ask SS, friends, and anyone else to please not speak to the press and condemn it if they do.

Points 1-4 need to be remembered through all the following ones.

Fifth:
Apologise unconditionally. Privately, without telling the press or anyone else ever. The Apology needs to acknowledge that he is at fault with no "I'm sorry but..."

Sixth:
If the apology is accepted, then very gently start correspondence. So a birthday card with something nice written inside. Or a text saying "thinking of you" when they know something's happening. Maybe reach out to William with a shared memory.

Seventh:
After a year maybe, see if they are willing to meet on their terms. If they are, take it. Keep it quiet, maybe at Balmoral, and bring the family. During the meet up do not refer to anything negative, accusations, etc.

Eighth:
Over the next year, pop over a few times for short periods at a time. Let any publicity come only from the palace.

If they got to this point then I think some reconciliation is possible. However I doubt many of the RF would trust them enough to relax in their company for sometime.

My genuine advice would be to divorce she who must be obeyed and grovel to his family who will help him rebuild their relationship that he destroyed with a view that Harry's children can have a relationship with them all.

That's not going to happen though and the best thing he could do is shut up and just let she who must be obeyed crack on with her silly jam pot schemes and demented public appearances and he forgets an interest in gardening and being a father to his children.

I would echo this advice too.

Actually this advice is even better. What a shame they won’t take it.