Best advice for Harry going forward?

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I have all the same initial reactions as many others on MN regarding Harry i.e. whiner, grifter, stupid, entitled etc and it's easy to dole out the criticism.

However while I wouldn't say I have sympathy for him, as so much of his situation is of his own making, I actually do have some underlying feelings of concern for him and his future (and children).

He reminds me an awful lot of a relative of mine who is neurodiverse with a mild learning disability and a tendency to be self-absorbed with an overdeveloped victim complex - always lashing out, blaming others, seeing conspiracy where there is none etc.

Harry is clearly a damaged man, with childhood trauma and issues which continue to plague his mental health.
As with my relative, he has grown up with a support network which has probably quietly managed and enabled his passage through life, but when big outbursts happen (as have happened in our family too) everyone backs off and 'grey rocks' him until he has calmed down. Some people just give up, too exhausted by the constant drama of it all.

No. More. Therapy.

He needs to do what all the aunts and uncles in my family did with their teens when they started to exhibit signs of being spoilt, entitled brats: go spend 3-6 months living and working cheek by jowl with people in a developing nation, earning your keep, keeping yourself from being exploited or robbed, and staying healthy and well. There’s nothing like a dose of an alternate reality to really make you appreciate all you have and see what love actually looks like.

Totally agree.

He needs to shut up about his family if he really wants reconciliation, let this security issue go and get more therapy to cope with the fact that he’s not equal to his brother when it comes to stuff like his security. He needs someone to tell him that not being the heir means that he has opportunities that his brother doesn’t and look at his wife who has a purpose and goal in life. He basically needs to try and move on from his life in the UK before his kids are damaged by his past too.

He doesn’t need therapy he needs rehabilitation!
too much hard drugs , psychedelic drugs and alcohol has induced paranoia and an inability to determine fact from fiction.

@HiReninteresting take on the issue of men’s mental health there!

Is that actual fact, or speculation?

If you believe his actual own words and statements as issued in his very own blockbuster of a book !
then it’s his truth his facts!
if you think he’s lied then , everything else he’s says has to be lies too!
make up your own mind!!

I’m no expert on these things but I think he does have mental health problems. I think he’s suffered a unique set of circumstances that I wouldn’t wish on anyone. However, he has access to resources that most people do not (far from it). He’s in his 40s. There’s no excuse anymore for some of his actions (some I think are still excusable). It looks like he doesn’t want to help himself, though. He prefers the rut he’s in, he prefers to lash out, he prefers to blame others, he prefers not to introspect, he prefers to believe his truth is more true than the truth, he prefers to think he knows better than the experts. That’s not a mental health issue. That’s a personality issue.

You should read Spare.

@HiRen - I think you're spot on.

That's actually a really lovely idea 😊

Recollections may vary….

He needs to be quiet and get on with his life and erect some boundaries. He lost his mother, tragically and very young and so did William, like countless youngsters before them. Except they didn't have the privilege if vast wealth and power.

I don't think Meghan has been good for him and I don't think he will start behaving properly until he comes home without her.

I’d rather eat wasps, frankly! I thought all drug stuff was in his famously mis spent youth?

You don't need to copy your parents. I sincerely hope that Archie and Lilibet don't copy them!

Sadly not!

Stop bleating about your problems in public and focus on fixing yourself.

Build bridges with your father and your brother before it's too late.

Try to avoid fucking up your own children too the best of your ability.

You don't know he's "masking". His private life is private.
However, he formed Heads Together, he's worked with footballers about male mental health, so I would guess he's probably had therapy and worked very hard at dealing with the past. Plus a happy marriage and lovely children help. It has been worse for him with the burden of expectation, and what was in store. Harry had a lot more freedom and many more advantages.

Exactly.

I also take issue with the highly emotive language both H and the SS use.

The vast majority of people don’t hate them.

I don’t agree with many(most) of his choices post M but I’ve never wished either of them ill.

Am I frequently baffled by them? Yes. Often irritated? Yes. Sometimes indifferent? Yes.

But that’s pretty much it. Problem is whipping up
bafflement/irritation and indifference does not feed the victim narrative he wants to author.

He wrote about having spliffs in California when Meghan and Archie went to bed. Also I think the hallucinogens were taken in the USA, although I may have got that mixed up with the magic mushrooms and the talking bin.

My advice would be ‘You made your bed, now lie in it sunshine’.

He gave up his entire life for a girl he fancied off a TV show, who was gagging to land any British bloke with a few quid. She hit the jack pot and he has been left with a train wreck of a life.

Well. That would certainly be a very positive thing to do.

😂😂
Bryony Gordon seems to be a particular friend on the writing staff, although Liz Jones also blows their trumpet.

And both his parents were criticised for those interviews so maybe he should have realised they aren’t a good idea .

I would tell him to get a "proper" job. One with a salary, full time hours, responsibility for colleagues and which needs him to work from an office, not home. If it's a charity, so much the better.

He def doesn't need any therapy. He's had enough navel gazing to last a lifetime. It's done him no good either.

Stop moaning. Get an interest. Move somewhere cheaper to live.

Apologise to family privately. Meg the same. Don't talk about it.

No press, interviews, media etc. Ever.