Best advice for Harry going forward?

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I have all the same initial reactions as many others on MN regarding Harry i.e. whiner, grifter, stupid, entitled etc and it's easy to dole out the criticism.

However while I wouldn't say I have sympathy for him, as so much of his situation is of his own making, I actually do have some underlying feelings of concern for him and his future (and children).

He reminds me an awful lot of a relative of mine who is neurodiverse with a mild learning disability and a tendency to be self-absorbed with an overdeveloped victim complex - always lashing out, blaming others, seeing conspiracy where there is none etc.

Harry is clearly a damaged man, with childhood trauma and issues which continue to plague his mental health.
As with my relative, he has grown up with a support network which has probably quietly managed and enabled his passage through life, but when big outbursts happen (as have happened in our family too) everyone backs off and 'grey rocks' him until he has calmed down. Some people just give up, too exhausted by the constant drama of it all.

My advice would be to go live a quiet, modest life. Plenty of big celebrities in the United States manage to blend into the landscape of everyday life. They buy homes in lower cost of living areas and just get on with things. Communities tend to respect that people should be allowed to just exist once someone moves in and makes it a home. If you live like an upper middle class person, even something like 5-10 million with a decent financial advisor can easily last a lifetime.

I agree with this. Harry could - even from the US - create something like the Princes' Trust or the Duke of Edinburgh Awards scheme and be the figurehead of that sort of organisation. He could throw everything into Invictus and grow the brand by creating other disability sports events or whatever. There is lots he could be doing.

But he lacks the intelligence and "nouse" to be able to do that sort of thing. He is an entitled man-child who expects to be bankrolled and didn't fully understand the implications of throwing his toys out of the pram and flouncing off to California.

Meghan, for all her faults, is not from that sort of background and realises that they are only in their early 40s and need to EARN MONEY. OK, so she might be going about it in a cack-handed way and hasn't been particularly successful but give the woman credit for at least having a go.

Also to add - he could have easily got himself board positions on all sorts of things like Bill Gates' foundation, or whatever charitable fund the Obamas run, or the Olympics committee, or any other sort of organisation which would benefit from the good publicity of having a Prince on their payroll. Unicef, Red Cross. But after the whole fiasco with spilling their guts on Netflix and throwing his family under the bus in his book, no company are going to want to be associated with him, he can't be trusted.

Harold: Give up all your 'royal' titles. Become plain Mr (a name of his choosing). Live a quiet life away from the public gaze. Stop wanting to be relevant or wanting to be somebody of importance in the world. You have enough squirrelled away in bank accounts to live comfortably for the rest of your life - enough for you and your Mrs and children, if they decide they no longer want to be in the glare of the spotlights too.

Yeah he’s pretty much finished now as far as anything to do with the royal family, the only event he will be at will be the King’s funeral so that’s and end to any form of royal life. He will probably just rent himself out for faux tours for the foreseeable and carry Meghan’s handbag.

I think he definitely needs structure in his life. He had that in the army, and he had it, to a lesser extent, as a working royal. Someone basically managing pretty much every aspect of his life. He doesn't have that anymore and seems to be at a loss.

Problem is, he's lazy and has no skills. So it's hard to see how he could do a 'real job'. His only 'skill' is being royal, and that's fading by the day.

Yes please stop talking. Silence is golden.

He definitely can’t do that - give up his titles? His wife is only with him for his hrh titles. They go she goes.. It’s happened before. When Edward gave up the throne for Wallace Simpson. She wanted the HRH titles and never got them, not the weak dull mentally limited man. Megan’s using them but had been told not to by the Queen herself.

Spooky parallels in the stories.

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-9894103/amp/Wallis-Simpson-dominated-Duke-Windsor-actually-liked-new-book-claims.html

Stop. Talking. To. The. Media.

He's making it worse every single time he stirs it up again. Let things settle down for a few years.

I have no idea how he and Megan can earn the money they need to fund their lifestyle. It will be a collosal amount that they don't have. It's turned into such a sad mess.

Pity they didn't decide to spend term time in the UK and school hols in the States. Megan was probably overwhelmed and very homesick back in 2019, but they took a scorched earth policy on leaving and it's gone so horribly wrong.

Amber Heard has proved the power of shutting up. While the trolling isn’t zero, she seems to be living a much happier life in Spain with her children. Online commentators said that her Spanish has massively improved so I suspect it’s been one of her healthy focuses post court case.

I also have a family member like this. I was struck by the similarities in the way they express themselves. Currently alienated from virtually the entire family and thinks everything is someone else's fault. I do wonder if bad therapy is to blame, because I am convinced that was the turning point with my relative who became like a different person. Entitled, arrogant, condescending, a professional victim. Protesting about how incredibly happy they are without seeing family but behaving in an angry, entitled and controlling way.

The trouble is Meghan isn't happy out of the limelight. It's the oxygen she lives for, and therein lies the problem.

I think it'd be better for them to live the simple life and cut their cloth accordingly. He could run a riding school she could teach calligraphy / yoga.

Unfortunately they have become accustomed to the high life and I don't think they want to give it up. For their lifestyle they need mega bucks, and I suspect it'll end up with some sort of Kardashian style show and the kids more and more in the public eye.

In all honesty, I think Harry is the same. The pair of them seem to thrive on controversy..

I think like too many people he thinks too much needs to be in the public eye.

Well, that's how he grew up. Already in the public eye in his mother's womb.

Poor guy, I feel for him. And wonder how his kids will grow up within all this toxicity.

I think he is very damaged. First by the loss of his mother. And then by the complex behaviours of the palace.

I truly believe some of what he says is true and I think the failure to be acknowledged for these things has completely embittered him.

I do for example believe he was thrown under the bus in situations to protect the heir. The Na zi costume for example. Kate and William were there in the room with him and with others all egging him on. And yet when the shit hit the fan the palace allowed him to be demonised whilst keeping William out of the headlines.

I do believe that many incidents where Harry was thrown into the media glare were useful shall I put it, to avoid attention being drawn on William for misdemeanours.

like the story of Meghan making Kate cry. Or did she. The more that came out the more it appeared to be the other way around

I think it’s always been this way in that family. Protect the heir at all costs. And Harry was the convenient cost. They do not condemn stories about Harry and Meghan even when they are false. But they do condemn stories about K&W. It’s this subtle way the palace has always deflected negative press around the heir and spouse.

the problem is his bitterness and damage has him throwing so much noise that people are just fed up and don’t believe anything he says. He’s shouted too much. And has Meghan. It’s meant the truth and unfair treatment have been disbelieved or just not heard in the sea of moaning.

know as we now do , that Harry doesn’t take advice or criticism well ( his own words) , do you really think it’s fair that one young adult is to blame for the actions of another?
do you think Harry is simply to stupid to realise that wearing a nazi uniform is offensive?
and for all we know William may well have told him !
but that doesn’t mean he would have listened.
I’m sorry but Harry has to be accountable for his own actions.

The Na zi costume for example. Kate and William were there in the room with him and with others all egging him on. And yet when the shit hit the fan the palace allowed him to be demonised whilst keeping William out of the headlines.

I guess that might have been because Harry was wearing a Nazi costume and William wasn't.

Harry was an adult. A young adult, but still an adult. No amount of others allegedly 'egging you on' absolves you of the consequences of your choices.

Yes it smacks of “ the bigger boy told me to do it sir !” School of excuses! 🙄

Also, I'm not sure what 'the palace' was supposed to do?

Harry was wearing the Nazi armband. That wasn't a tabloid invention.

Was BP supposed to issue an official statement saying 'While it's true that HRH Prince Harry chose to wear a Nazi costume to a party, he only did so due to egging on of his brother'.

I think at this point anything he does will be used to criticise him. I’m not his biggest fan but the level of spite in some of the comments I see online is staggering, and the Murdoch press isn’t going to stop now it has its claws in.

Just live privately. Make it up with his family in private.

The whole H&M thing is just one long, slow car crash. He wanted to go. He went. He clearly had no idea what it really meant to leave the RF, but he’s made his bed so he needs to just SHUT UP and stand by his decision.

He comes across as an entitled arsehole every time he opens his mouth. Why does he think we should pay for his security? Pay for your own security!

He seems unable to grasp how privileged he is. He’s got what he wanted and he’s still not happy. I agree he needs to get a job but what could he even do? He’s unemployable.

Whatever the truth of whether William "egged him on" re that uniform, the fact is it didn't stop Harry becoming the Royal second only in popularity to the late QE a few years later. I think this happened because although it was a wrong and idiotic thing to do, most people were willing to forgive it as youthful stupidity rather than badness. Ditto (on a more trivial note), naked drunken pool. Ditto weed use. I'm not sure what else there was that could be described as "briefing against him to protect William" at all and he certainly got plenty of very positive attention, especially after his service in Afghanistan.

I know!
by all accounts the picture was taken by another guest and sent to the paper, how is this the palaces fault?
how is it throwing Harry under the bus for William?
im sure Charles would have preferred that this picture was never seen at all!
and frankly all this motherly excusing of Harry’s actions when he is in fact 40 is very odd.
the public did in fact forgive and forget because we were all still in the cheeky chappy popular Harry phase , this all resurfaced because 40 year old Harry revisited it in his book and yet again spun us a new spin , of course it’s William fault!
but all this shows to me is that Harry can’t take responsibility for his own behaviour and far from feeling sorry for what he has done, he simply feels sorry that he was caught!

Because, Jeff - and it really is this simple - Harry has fans who literally think he can do no wrong. He has no judgement, no free will and no life choices. That's what they believe, I'm sure!