See this is why I have a huge problem with the current vogue for 'No Contact'. It's a phrase from family psychology, and yes sometimes it's necessary to go NC with a family member, where that family member is/has been abusive, criminal or addicted to such an extent that the patient's wellbeing is threatened. But now I see people online cavalierly saying they're NC for such minor things as 'a toxic parent' or even a family member with different political views!
It's truly tragic. We're all human, we're all weak and prone to error. None of us can say hand on heart that we've brought up our children perfectly.We all inflict various hurts and pains on them inadvertently, as well as love.
I was low contact with my mother when she was alive because of physical and psychological abuse I suffered as a child. I had to do it because when I did see her, my heart would race and my hands would shake. But I still saw her, helped her out financially, etc. As I grew older and wiser I learned more about her mental illness, the struggles and abuse she suffered, and I was more forgiving. I was also more able to acknowledge the good times and all the support and love she gave to me in her own imperfect way.
NC is sometimes necessary but it should be avoided unless in the most extreme of circumstances. Like, if your dad is Fred West type of thing. Otherwise there has to be capacity for forgiveness in families, because NC is a multigenerational tragedy that brings with it very sharp and lifelong regret. I think that we Sussex observers don't fully always appreciate the cruelty of what H&M have done - in going NC they've not just hurt their respective families: they've hurt themselves and their children. It is intensely sad.