With Love, Meghan - criticisms and genuine concern for her mental health

[Lavenderfarmcottage]

I am probably going to be flogged for posting this and chased down the dark laneways of Mumsnet as bystanders yell “Shame Shame Shame”.

I weighed in yesterday about a thread on Meghan and her new Netflix show. I made some criticisms about the trailer and certain cliche’s in the way it was produced. Hypocritical of me to be posting this but I feel guilty and have reflected. I am actually looking forward to watching it on Netflix and my criticisms were pretty minor and not exclusive to her show - it’s a common issue I have.

Meghan has struggled with mental health because of criticism. The reaction to ‘With Love… Meghan’ has been fairly brutal.

I think it would be really good if we refrained from saying anything negative about the series or Meghan Markle. That’s not the point of this thread.

I want to know if you think the criticisms have gone too far. The Princess of Wales is not on the scene and we are protective of her rightly so. That leaves Meghan as media fodder though.

Do you think it’s time Meghan and Harry were given a break ? I do. I think we’ve been far too harsh and the criticisms have gotten out of hand.

I think we also forget the cultural relevance. If we went into the homes or Gwyneth, Julia Roberts etc and I would probably feel the divide too. American culture doesn’t apologise for wealth and hollywoood is highly competitive.

Having a confident demeanour, throwing your head back Julia Roberts style when you laugh and unapologetically selling $$$ vagina products like Gwyneth Paltrow is how it over there. People talk loudly and confidently and are polished and rehearsed especially in the
Competitive world of Hollywood…

Are we all being too hard ?

Well - tbh - personally all my married friends use their own (maiden) name these days. But I don't think your question is relevant. Meghan and Catherine are hardly your typical 'married woman'.

One has chosen to leave the institution into which she married, and I think there've been a few discussions on here before now as to exactly what her married name would be (Windsor? Wales? I can't remember what the latest idea was), so that would be a challenge. What do you think her married name is?

But if she's the feminist she claims to be she possibly wouldn't want to change her surname anyway. Catherine has a very specific and official role in the RF so it's not an issue - she's uncontroversially, undeniably Catherine, Princess of Wales now - she left Kate Middleton behind a long time ago (unless you're on Celebitchy! 😂).

Perhaps you could show your liking by using her real name - seems unpleasant (rude even) to use a different one

She's Princess Henry, or The Duchess of Sussex, or now with this latest venture just Meghan

Harry may have been happier with something more intimate and private, but what Meghan wants, Meghan gets
You (presumably )don't know these people!
These threads are so weird and obsessed.
It just all feeds into obsession and bigging up each other's hate filled opinions, nodding along with each other and adding more negatives, it's just consuming poison.
It's seriously not healthy.
Why so dripping about people you don't know??

@Ellaelle have a look at Ina Garten and you might see some similarity.

Why so defensive? I just think they're an interesting study, the gift that keeps on giving. Their supporters keep saying 'You don't know these people', but actually, we do - they've splashed themselves and their innermost feelings about for years. We Do know them, direct from their own mouths.

Oh no - the old 'You don't know her!' line. Yawn.

She has spoken and written much and we have heard and read it all, either from her own mouth or via her mouthpiece, Omid Scobie. Meghan notoriously tried to claim she had no input into Scobie's scurrilous and nasty attacks on the RF (and Catherine in particular) but was found to have lied in court about it and was seriously reprimanded by the judge.

I think I know what Meghan is like, thank you. She tells us all the time and she shows us (the insane pushing and shoving to get to the front, the word-salad speeches, the cringe-making attempts to upstage the IG vets....awful, to name but a few examples.

And you think we don't know anything about her? Open your eyes and ears. Look and learn.

And I'm sorry to spoil the fantasy, but I don't think anyone on MN 'hates' her. Most of her critics here probably think she's on a spectrum with very, very annoying and hypocritical at one end and ridiculously funny and gauche at the other. You'll find more mocking and eye-rolling than 'frothing', but I know the Sussex supporters need to believe in 'haters' in order to justify their existence.

Meghan has the same qualifications as Kate and did the exact same job, gained the exact same publicity almost as Kate yet was paid less.

Kate got years of hassle and little to no protection then more flack in early years of marriage from press. It's what the press do to UK Royal women especially those who marry in - it's not right but it's what happens.

Pay is odd as well - the sovereign get a civil list surrendering the Crown Estate Revenue - then their inheritance direct to monarch monarch doesn't pay inheritance tax - then the Monarch has Dutchy of Lancaster - a private estate which gets some odd benefits - and heir to throne get the Dutchy of Cornwall.

The rest of the RF gets money distributed from Monarch I believe - often for public engagements.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/explainers-57559653

Then there are perks like accommodation. Frogmore cottage was where the Wales started out as well.

It's not as transparent as it could be but "pay" in regards to Royals is odd way to look at it.

The monarchy is hierarchical - the direct heir is more important than people who get pushed down the line of succession over the course of their lifetimes.

I'm not wild about RF - but devolution still bedding down - Brexit is still throwing up problems the Labour party will likely reform or do away with house of Lords while they have huge majority in house of commons if they can and political pundits say it looking like next elections will be coalition government and likely raise pressure for Westminster voter reform of some sort - last thing we need is huge constitutional upheaval to do away with Monarchy - they'll likely tinker round edge of RF anyway.

I do think Megan suffered due to cultural difference which due to language perhaps are immediately understood and yes life experiences - but it was suggested they take longer which they got angry about - and then Meghan turn down a lot of support offered and said she just needed Harry - who seems oddly uniformed about institution he grew up in.

I don't think anyone who done research should have ended up jealous frustrated perhaps with media - but jealous - the sixth in line to the throne is never going to be as important as the 3rd still in child bearing age. I was taken aback how many Americans thought it went Charles William Harry - ignoring William kids - if it worked like that Charles siblings would be higher up.

Edited as errors so huge made no sense.

I cannot get over how invested you are. I have no idea about half of this because quite frankly I don’t care about someone I don’t know and have never met. That’s the problem with your brigade - get a bloody life.

also I will once again state the obvious - you are seeing what the media is showing. You have no idea what the truth is. Meghan has been largely absent from public life for a number of years now I believe? So I’m not entirely sure how she’s always banging on about herself.

I follow someone called Kristin cavallari on IG, and listen to her podcasts. I find it quite funny how she says one thing in her podcast and the media turn it into something it isn’t, on a daily basis (I know this because she shares it, I don’t read the news as it’s all bollocks). This is someone who gets positive media attention as well as negative. You’re a fool if you believe everything you read and that’s why i just can’t be convinced by anything anyone on here has yet said as ammunition for why they hate someone THEY HAVE NEVER MET. I’ll keep hammering that point home because I’ll never wrap my head around it.

No it does not. You have read incorrectly. I am saying the royal family is unwittingly racist and mysoginistic.

My point was that a white woman benefits more than a biracial woman doing the same job because it’s heirarchal. It may very well be people, within that institution not wanting Meghan to be as important as an English,
who’re Princess and they wouldn’t have to be unfair because it already is unfair.

It makes it impossible to prove if there’s discrimination. They forever have an excuse of ‘this family isn’t fair to begin with’.

I don’t think the royal family not being in line with society’s values is a world view.

That makes absolutely no sense, and what secret code does the word ‘Whore’’ belong in that’s just weird.

It’s absolutely correct to say that discrimination is impossible to prove yet there are accusations flying around all over the place on this thread.

I wonder what your thoughts are on the views of Meghan actually getting more favourable treatment, such as spending Christmas at Sandringham before they were married; sharing a joint visit with the Queen very quickly and being offered to travel on the Royal train. Privileges not offered to Catherine for a long time, certainly not until she was married, if at all.

My point was that a white woman benefits more than a biracial woman doing the same job because it’s heirarchal.

It's not base on skin colour but birth order - which is a bit mad but how it works.

If Meghan had married William not Harry she'd be higher up in hierarchy.

It's not the same job - Catherine is wife to direct heir and mother to eventual monarch. Meghan husband is further down pecking order and their kids extremely unlikely to get near throne and will get ever further away.

I do think possibly being American and a divorcee may have countered against her but that because of echos of Wallis Simpson and abdication - and I think some historians now feel Wallis Simpson got a lot of blame that really should have been thrown at Duke of Windsor - who character seems at best just weak or worse self serving to point of treason.

However many though good luck to her - and hoped she'd be a breath of fresh air - I think many wished them luck even after leaving - and really didn't blame them for wanting out - the bulk of the popularity decline has cone in response to their actions over interceding years.

'I cannot get over how invested you are. I have no idea about half of this because quite frankly I don’t care about someone I don’t know and have never met. That’s the problem with your brigade - get a bloody life.'

The absolute irony.

'You win the internet today for your utter stupidity.
never seen these people in person yet you ‘know’ them. Don’t mind me whilst I clean up my piss from laughing so hard.'

I think your pelvic floor needs attention. If the only way you can put your argument across is by insult, you' ve lost already, I'm afraid.

I think you've posted far more than I have on this thread so your over investment is obvious. Why do you get so worked up defending these people you don't know?

RockingLock
You win the internet today for your utter stupidity.
never seen these people in person yet you ‘know’ them. Don’t mind me whilst I clean up my piss from laughing so hard.'

Er - well, f that's your style - fill your boots, as they say!

I don't see anything stupid in Reetpetitenot's post.

And if you haven't seen the video where Meghan absolutely ignores a woman telling her harrowing story about losing her child to HIV, please 'educate yourself'. Her behaviour will leave you speechless in its cruelty. Meghan was there to listen to a group of traumatised women but it's clear from the video that her priority was getting the 'money shot' and the best angle for the filming. I think it was in S Africa, but other pps might be able to be more accurate??

She's a piece of work, I have to say!

I can’t see this all consuming jealousy.

Meghan is living her best life, much to the anger of the great unwashed public.

I doubt Meghan and Catherine give each other much thought.

You think saying you know someone because you’ve seen some interviews and read some daily fail articles isn’t stupid?

I won’t be watching it because I don’t care. I’m not a Meghan media gobbler. My entire point throughout the whole thing is that everyone here who ‘hates’ her doesn’t know her and sees what is portrayed by the media. I just can’t believe you all have an opinion on someone who you don’t know.

oh sorry. You do know her. Intimately. And the late queen. My mistake 🙄

Ooh - I think you're wrong there! I think Meghan was obsessed with Catherine from way before she met Harry. It's definitely one of the main motivators of her conduct - and boy, did she hate having to defer to her in the hierarchy. That really cut.

All the little jibes 'I'm a hugger, and they're cold and mean...'Stepford wives...etc etc'. Plus the side-eye all the time.

We see you, Meghan!

I think that’s all a fantasy entirely in your own head.

"Meghan has been largely absent from public life for a number of years now I believe?"

What is this drivel I am reading ?

This response makes no sense.

I cannot relate what you say to anything I've said, or other posters you've attacked either?

And calling another poster a 'weirdo' really doesn't look good.

You seem incredibly angry - it's just a discussion!

But they are very strange with names: they also used Archie, George's family nickname and security service code name for their first born!?

No one in the RF has said Archie is George’s family nickname.

A member of the public said George once said ‘I’m called Archie’.

It was probably George playing a prank, just like Charlotte sticking her tongue out at cameras and all three kids crossing their fingers during pictures.

@Lavenderfarmcottage "My point was that a white woman benefits more than a biracial woman doing the same job because it’s heirarchal."

But the fact is - they are not doing the same job. Never would, never will. Catherine will be Queen, Meghan's status was only ever going to diminish in status and importance. Catherine's role is and has always been different than Meghan's. It didn't matter what race Meghan was, or Catherine's.

That was the root of Meghan's issue - culturally she didn't understand this.