With Love, Meghan - criticisms and genuine concern for her mental health

[Lavenderfarmcottage]

I am probably going to be flogged for posting this and chased down the dark laneways of Mumsnet as bystanders yell “Shame Shame Shame”.

I weighed in yesterday about a thread on Meghan and her new Netflix show. I made some criticisms about the trailer and certain cliche’s in the way it was produced. Hypocritical of me to be posting this but I feel guilty and have reflected. I am actually looking forward to watching it on Netflix and my criticisms were pretty minor and not exclusive to her show - it’s a common issue I have.

Meghan has struggled with mental health because of criticism. The reaction to ‘With Love… Meghan’ has been fairly brutal.

I think it would be really good if we refrained from saying anything negative about the series or Meghan Markle. That’s not the point of this thread.

I want to know if you think the criticisms have gone too far. The Princess of Wales is not on the scene and we are protective of her rightly so. That leaves Meghan as media fodder though.

Do you think it’s time Meghan and Harry were given a break ? I do. I think we’ve been far too harsh and the criticisms have gotten out of hand.

I think we also forget the cultural relevance. If we went into the homes or Gwyneth, Julia Roberts etc and I would probably feel the divide too. American culture doesn’t apologise for wealth and hollywoood is highly competitive.

Having a confident demeanour, throwing your head back Julia Roberts style when you laugh and unapologetically selling $$$ vagina products like Gwyneth Paltrow is how it over there. People talk loudly and confidently and are polished and rehearsed especially in the
Competitive world of Hollywood…

Are we all being too hard ?

To me personally she's Meghan Markle and always will be.

Do you also tell other married women that you won’t use their married name and will continue to refer to them by their maiden name?

I'm not bashing them at all. I don't care that they had a big flashy wedding. I watched it. I thought Meghan looked beautiful and Harry looked happy. I was happy for them.

Later, when Meghan suggested they actually got married 3 days before 'the wedding' in a manner that suggested they'd pulled one over the public and the rf, and the big splashy wedding was only for public consumption and didn't really mean anything to them, because, y'know, the real wedding was 3 days before, I thought she was behaving like an arse. To suggest they didn't want/need the big wedding - pull the other one. I do think Harry would have actually liked a wedding away from the public and media - he would probably have seen that as some sort of victory, one in the eye for the media. But Meghan wanted a royal wedding.

So why did she choose to be a 'working royal' and 'hit the ground running'?

There's plenty to criticise in the RF, but that's what she chose. Her position in the pecking order was because she married the younger son rather than the elder, not because she is biracial. So race is irrelevant. If Harry had married a white woman she would have had exactly the same place in the hierarchy as Meghan.

I don't know - how can any of us know? But, since Meghan doesn't have an original thought in her head, it seems Emma's example may well have gone into the mix along with Gwyneth's and maybe even Martha Stewart's.

But Emma is genuine - she's clearly interested in what she's doing and does it with grace and style.

@x2boys, Prince Philip was born in 1921, over a century ago. I think everyone agrees that his comments are unacceptable by today’s standards but are you really not willing to allow some context for those born and raised in earlier times? You can add context without justification.

They had a big splashy wedding, that the majority of the UK rejoiced in, street parties to celebrate, thousands of people turned up to wave them on.

Then she denigrated the whole this as 'that spectacle', looking down her nose at all those who celebrated 'that spectacle'. Lets not forget she made that denigrating remark to one of the most famous women on the planet knowing their interview would be watched by a global audience

That is why people bash criticise her. Very well deserved criticism in most peoples opinion.

He was a a high serving member of the royal family not some ill educated nobody but it I was pointing out his remarks were racist which therfore makes him racist not just forthright

Would love to know where your facts for these two things come from, based on the fact you have NEVER MET HER.

Honestly the Meghan hater brigade need to look at themselves.

Precisely.

If you try to judge people born in past eras by 21st century standards, you'll have to cancel almost every writer, artist, politician etc. But if you want to do that, go ahead.

I remember being mortified when I lent a book to a Jewish friend - a famous satire written in the 30s (Cold Comfort Farm) which is a brilliant book, but had forgotten that it contained casually-racist language - such as describing a shop as a 'Jew shop'. Incredibly offensive now - especially since the Holocaust - but a term used by just about everyone in those days, without any real venom - just 'othering', I suppose. I don't think Stella Gibbon should be cancelled as a result - but for young people with no knowledge of history/society in the past, a warning might be good. This low-level anti-semitism was rife in the inter-war period and you'll struggle to find an author whose work isn't contaminated by it, from our perspective (Rupert Brooke, T S Eliot, Evelyn Waugh, D H Lawrence etc etc).

Different times, and we know better now.

Utter tosh. The world’s media (and those reading it all) were obsessed with H&M in the beginning. They couldn’t fart for it being reported.

i don't think the Queen would've cared either way. And certainly the public wouldn't have .

But your not a high ranking member of the royal family and neither did you write the book.

The Daily Mail has huge international readership, including in the US

Its very popular with English-speaking right-wingers across the globe

I suspect it was Harry who really wanted the big wedding, he has written about his jealousy of his brother, so a quiet wedding in Africa or wherever would not have worked for him.. She may possibly have gone along with it for his sake, (she could also have wanted it), but she did go along with it and then publicly belittled the event.

I think people hear what they want to hear. I watched that and viewed it as they quite happy being an insular couple. It was more to make the point of their closeness as them two, the week in Africa camping, the roasting of a chicken, a simple private ceremony. That yes they can do all of the royal pampour but also they are two people living their lives and it gets forgotten by the media and all these hateful bitches on mumsnet.

the haters want it to mean she’s an ungrateful bitch

and then I read shit like Meghan is jealous of Kate. You all sound like you’re jealous of Meghan’s privilege if I’m honest. ‘Oh poor Meghan with all her money and her big house’. Like that’s everything! It sounds to me like some of you still have to learn the really important things in life.

I tell you what though, I don’t think there’s a person on the planet jealous of Kate. The pressure must be immense.

You knew the queen then, yes? The woman that never explained a thing? That was perfectly neutral at all times, you have literally no idea what the queen would have thought. NONE.

and like I said, it wasn’t for the queen. It was for the masses. The entire world was obsessed, from here to America and further.

It's obvious. She can't stop banging on about herself. She makes every interaction about her. The footage of her ignoring a woman telling of her child's death so she can sit on the floor and be cool and unstuffy is toe curlingly excruciating.

She bangs on about every tiny perceived slight she's ever believed she receivedfrom Catherine - would that someone not wanting to share a lip gloss and suggesting a bridesmaids dress was badly made were all most of us had to worry about. She clung on to these slights as evidence of god knows what. To see her barging through rows of chairs to ensure she's not walking behind someone would be funny if it wasn't so pathetic.

The criticism Meghan and Harry receive is based on their own words and actions. It's there for everyone to see.

people not wanting public opinion should not make their career around public opinion - she's old enough to know that

I agree. I love the book, but the casual anti semitism is eye opening.

The same with Riddle of the Sands (1903, Erskine Children's, later shot by the British as an Irish patriot) and The Grand Sophy (Georgette Heyrr, 1950s). Both have brief passages with appalling anti semitic stereotypes.

Let alone some of Shakespeare...

Considering the future King had a small, non televised ceremony for his 2nd wedding, and Princess Anne had an even smaller wedding, and Princess Beatrice only released a couple of photos from hers I don't think anyone would have been upset or surprised if H&M did something similar.

It was Meghan's 2nd wedding - she didn't need to have the big white dress and veil, everything about that wedding was their choice. (Harry wanted it bigger - Westminster).

If they felt the wedding rehearsal with ABC was more meaningful to them, then they should have said that. It was absolutely their choice to have THAT spectacle (tiaragate and all), just don't piss on it afterwards and tell us it's raining.

As Meghan has been rebuked publicly by a Judge about her lying in court documents then I tend to believe ABC in regards to their wedding date.

It would have been more appropriate was my point. I actually don’t agree that they would have been accused of “stealing” someone’s name had they used the right and proper name Elizabeth. The affection Harry had for his Grandmother was evident and reciprocated. It would have been a lovely gesture.

With regards the wedding, no one resented Harry and Meghan having the huge wedding that they had. Even though it wasn’t Meghan’s first and she was divorced. People now feel resentful due to the comments on Oprah which made it sound like they didn’t want the “huge spectacle” and they wanted a small intimate wedding. The one that sshh! No one knows this but we did that 3 days before in our garden. Some may feel resentful as it was a lot of money and they were not forced to have the huge wedding. Some may feel resentment due to celebrating the day themselves with friends and family and now feeling a bit duped by the couple.

I do think that it was Harry who may have been the driving force behind the huge wedding. He is known to be very envious of William’s position and demands that he be treated the same. (The sausage story for example). He isn’t the heir and it’s something that he struggles with even though he will never admit it.

But your not a high ranking member of the royal family and neither did you write the book.

Eh?

I agree. I love the book, but the casual anti semitism is eye opening.
The same with Riddle of the Sands (1903, Erskine Children's, later shot by the British as an Irish patriot) and The Grand Sophy (Georgette Heyrr, 1950s). Both have brief passages with appalling anti semitic stereotypes.
Let alone some of Shakespeare...

@Baital - yes -it's a painful issue, isn't it, but I think it's a mistake to throw the baby out with the bathwater.

I do agree with it being pointed out to younger readers - and giving them some context to understand how different the times were. I think Shakespeare is remarkable, though, when you consider how long ago he was writing, that he does at least give Shylock a chance to put his point of view and to question the crude anti-semitic stereotypes. I think Shakespeare took the story of the MoV from an existing source (with an a-s theme) but his treatment of it is considerably more enlightened, so I give him credit for that at least!

Inter-war writers could also be horribly snobbish. It's just what was socially acceptable then as oppose to now.

Rightly or wrongly, that is how the Royal Family works. It’s a hierarchy. Catherine and Meghan’s positions in it, titles and where they stood on the balcony have nothing to do with racism and everything to do with the monarchy.

I agree that it will have been super difficult for Meghan. An unenviable task, especially when she was used to having the freedom that she had. They needed more time but didn’t take it. Harry obviously didn’t allow her the time or opportunity to let her know what she was getting into. He didn’t fully inform her because he didn’t want to scare her off and probably because he didn’t want her to realise that he wasn’t anywhere near as important in the firm as he obviously made to her that he was. He was and has been dispensable from being part of it. He made the mistake of thinking he wasn’t.

Your post is actually laughable but also illogical, irrelevant and only reveals your wish to interpret nothings into your already held world view.