Harry in UK for funeral

[Viviennemary]

DM is reporting Harry came to the UK for the funeral of his uncle Robert Fellowes. The husband of Diana's sister Lady Jane. Apparently they kept their distance from each other and didn't speak. Looks like William has the Windsor habit of bearing grudges. Don't blame him in this case.

That's fine. However, supposing you complained a lot about it and wrote the conversation in a book?
Suppose your Dad wanted to get married again and you told him in no uncertain terms not to!
Would you think that was hypocritical?
That's what Harry did.

William looked out for Kate when he gave her lots of time to really see what Royal life was all about. It's understandable that H & M's relationship moved more quickly because they were at a very different life stage and couldn't afford to take ages if they wanted children.

But, and it's a big but, it would have saved Meghan a ton of heartache if Harry had given her better insight into the family and culture she was moving into. He completely failed her, as far as I'm concerned. I can be critical of Meghan but I tend to believe that she was genuinely unhappy in the UK and she really did dislike the negative press she received. Harry failed to prepare her for all of that.

Whereas if my sibling had raised concerns under similar circumstances, I would have thanked them for looking out for me and reassured them that I knew what I was doing ( or not, as the case might be😳)

Same here, but DH and I were on the same continent, neither of us had a previous relationship end because the partner couldn't stand the intense public scrutiny, and we'd met and spent time with each other's families.

Neither of us thought we were better than our future brother/sister in laws, nor were we surreptitiously, while assuring our families we were looking forward to working with them, planning to move across the world and spill our guts to all and sundry about our families.

I suppose it depends on the relationship you have. I have the impression that William looked out for Harry all his life up until he met Meghan. He must have been very concerned to bring it up, and I am sure it wasn't easy for him. I think it was good advice, especially as a member of the RF with all the profile and the scandals surrounding the various divorces in the past.

I have many different views on this. No, my husband and I didn't live on different continents, however we met and married quickly. It worked.

William would've been protecting the Monarchy and all that entails, hence his warnings. Not Harry's emotional fulfillment with someone he wanted to be with. It was always going to implode.

Harry had baggage and the royal family protocol to cope with and he'd wanted out for quite a number of years. Meghan was that doorway he could walk through.
It's good he took it, as far as I'm concerned.

But @BustingBaoBun, if you generally support H&M's version of events, you are likely to think that they had a very difficult time of it in the UK between 2018 and 2020 (when they left). And if you agree that they had a difficult time, don't you think it would have been better if the transition into Royal life for them as a couple had been better planned? In my view, it was largely Harry's responsibility to exercise good judgement around that.

'William would've been protecting the Monarchy and all that entails, hence his warnings. Not Harry's emotional fulfillment with someone he wanted to be with. It was always going to implode.'

You have a direct line to William on this, obviously.

Both Harry and Meghan, for whatever reason, seemed hell bent on rushing into their marriage. Never has the old adage marry in haste, repent at leisure seemed more apt.

William would've been protecting the Monarchy and all that entails, hence his warnings. Not Harry's emotional fulfillment with someone he wanted to be with. It was always going to implode

Or, William could have been attempting to protect Harry (and Meghan come to that) by asking Harry to slow down to give them both time to reflect on the whole picture of being senior members of the Royal Family. It is an over simplification to ignore the fact that the circumstances they would find themselves in would have an impact on their married life

bold fail

William would've been protecting the Monarchy and all that entails, hence his warnings. Not Harry's emotional fulfillment with someone he wanted to be with. It was always going to implode

Protect the monarchy from what, exactly?

@Not2identifying I don't disagree with that.

@Gorgonemilezola I have no inside information on anyone! I'm just expressing an opinion but I don't think they are 'repenting at leisure' at all. I think they are both glad to be out.

@smilesy thanks for your post. I understand what you're saying. I don't think anything has had an impact on their married life, I think they've grown stronger.

@Pineapplesandthegovernmentandpunkrock Protecting the Monarchy from criticism or a devaluation of it.

So are you saying that Meghan Markle came into the RF with the specific goal of criticising the RF? Why do you think she would devalue the RF?

@Pineapplesandthegovernmentandpunkrock
Sorry, no, I haven't said that. Or anything like that. Not at all. Not sure where you've thought that!

You were fortunate. It very often doesn't. Didn't William purportedly say something about lust? I don't quite recall. He was right to have concerns - his brother and the divorced American actress had very different backgrounds and experiences. William just wanted then to be as sure as they could be that they could make it work. Maybe William was also acting on what he thought were his brother's best interests? Maybe he saw something in Meghan that Harry didn't, and that worried him?

I don't think it's particularly good that he took it tbh. He's ended up isolated from many family and friends, his home country, and he now has the pressure of earning a living on the basis of very little talent. They could have had amazing opportunities within the RF. And now they're doing pseudo-royal tours - what is that much different to what they had and what they have?

Then what does this mean?

Protecting the Monarchy from criticism or a devaluation of it.

Who was criticising/ devaluing the monarchy?

'I have no inside information on anyone! I'm just expressing an opinion but I don't think they are 'repenting at leisure' at all. I think they are both glad to be out.'

Sorry, you just seemed so confident that' William was protecting the Monarchy rather than Harry's emotional fulfillment.'

I think William had just been protecting Harry for a long time.

As for being' glad to be out' - I don't know. I don't think things have turned out the way they wanted, and I honestly don't think they're living the life Harry wanted.

@Runnerinthenight

How awful if William's mindset was that in your first paragraph. If my brother had said to me (all similar ages, similar timescales) that I might be driven by lust, WTAF!!

William might've seen something in Meghan he didn't like, but he wasn't marrying her, was he. It has worked so far.

Sorry @Pineapplesandthegovernmentandpunkrock I don't really understand. I imagine William might have thought that Meghan as Harry's wife would not be right for the Monarchy, that's all I am saying. I am not sure how to answer any more.

@Gorgonemilezola I appreciate your opinion, it's not mine, but that's fine! I am not 100% confident in mine, but it's all mine!

No. But she thought she knew better than thousands of years of tradition and that she could change it for the better.

I'm assuming you're female, and the conversation between two brothers (who appeared to all intents and purposes to be very close, therefore able to be frank with each other) might go somewhat differently than between a sister and a brother. I don't see why saying, "make sure you're not blinded by lust" or whatever it was he is supposed to have said (and we only have the Harry version!), has anything intrinsically wrong with it. We're all driven by lust in the early days of a relationship but that doesn't mean it has the potential to be successful long-term!

If William saw something in Meghan that he didn't like, then he wouldn't have been much of a brother if he hadn't offered advice. My family advised a sibling to tread carefully once and sadly were proved right when the spouse turned out to be having an affair right through the first year of the marriage, and left the day after the first anniversary.

It just shows if Harry doesn't leak to press his whereabouts he's perfectly safe with no police protection.

Before William and Catherine married they lived together for several years. Basically "the firm" put their living together and their life as a young couple off limits.

When Harry and Meghan 's relationship was first found out they were hounded by the tabloids. When they rented a private house to get away - they were stalked. The rooms were photographed with a telephoto lens. From what I understand Harry asked for the same arrangement. We know that didn't happen and it got worse.

That's interesting! I went against the grain with my marriage and it worked, I would not have welcomed criticism of my choice, given our ages Runner. When couples reach a certain age, they make their choices and live with them.

Yes, I'm female!!

The situation apparently was that they had kept their relationship under wraps but Meghan was the one pushing to go public. They had managed to maintain their privacy and from what I've read Meghan gave Harry an ultimatum to go public or she would finish things.

They could quite easily have continued to fly under the radar but she didn't want that.

Nope - they wanted to 'hit the ground running' after their wedding, not stay out of the public eye. And as far as hounding, paparazzi photos of Kate sunbathing topless taken from a mile away - sounds like hounding to me. Harry and Meghan didn't have it worse than many other members of the royal family over the years.

Which house was photographed? They didn’t rent a house until they were married and were rumoured to have a house in the Cotswolds near Meghans friend . That was never confirmed anyway. Meghan visited Harry in Nottingham Cottage . They lived there until after they were married and moved to Frogmore. Meghan had an apartment in Toronto until she left Suits.