Harry and Gabor

[laurwalsh]

My friend just sent me this. I adore Gabor mate and the work he does. His book 'in the realms of hungry ghosts' was life changing for me who had suffered serious addiction issues. But am I being too harsh to feel disappointed he's jumping on this band wagon of garbage. I'm sorry but Harry we're sick of listening to your trauma and no offence you've sung it to death, (and I don't even think it's that bad relative to how much he has gone on and on about it) and trauma aside you're a complete hypocrite with how you've treated you're family and the trauma you've put them through!!

Just because YOU believe that people should suffer in silence, doesn't mean that everyone else does.

You could literally ignore this chat instead of going on and on about 2 people who don't know you or care enough to disappoint you. Personally, You sound really whinging yourself. The language. You use (e.g.,retaliating, etc.) says a lot about where you are., while going on and on about Harry and GM.

It also makes zero sense. What exactly do you think fills books like memoirs, autobiographies, self-help, etc.? People sharing their stories and traumas and life experiences, and their stories involve others. That's life unless you were spontaneously born and have zero, friends or family.

Also, let's get over this lie about (his) family not "retaliating". We know that's not true, and Harry, growing up in that system, would know better than random people outside of it, how his family uses the media.

That’s disappointing. Gabor mate is a unique man with some interesting ideas. He comes across as genuine and authentic so I am disappointed to see him hitching himself to the Harry and Meghan show. Same as if he did something with the kardashians or any other brand. It is all so commercial. Ah well. He is getting older and probably wants to build up his retirement fund and will sell his soul now for views and clicks. Even though the Ks and H and M get a lot of negative press their brand still gets views and attention and make good money.

The entitlement and ownership some have over public figures is mind blowing. Harry AND Gabor in this instance. I am a self-confessed H&M stan that will not be attending the event because I have the book already, only to see people who loathe H&M buy tickets for an opportunity to qUeStIoN him🙃

It's the strangest thing.

Someone upthread mentioned that Mate speaks about his own personal experiences too. That's very true, BUT he takes FULL RESPONSIBILITY for his behaviour, while explaining its origins, and takes FULL RESPONSIBILITY for the impact that behaviour had on others around him.

No where near the same as Harry.

I was surprised to see on insta under some ads for this a LOT of negative comments. People who are very trauma-informed and are just fed up of PH publicising his trauma whilst deliberately trying to harm his brother and father publicly, letting the world think his family is racist then denying it etc. They were being shamed by the "everybody's trauma is their own, privilege plays no part in making it lesser" brigade.

Gabor Mate has got his daughter involved in his public work (online/social media things). She's a psychologist or psychotherapist can't remember, but she's well studied. While Mate seems like a special person, with a unique view, she's much more "traditionally-studied". She may be good, but she's clearly clinging onto her father's coattails. She kind of takes over his online events that she's supposed to be moderating or MDing or something. She corrects him, "clarifies" what he says (so nobody m anywhere may possibly be offended etc). He clearly feels guilt about how he's treated her growing up (he's said that) and basically follows her lead. I no longer listen to anything where she's involved. I am going to bet she's involved in this idea of speaking with Harry as he doesn't seek fame in the way she seems to want him to. It seems like he wants his message heard. She wants to monetise the popularity of her father and make sure he leaves a "legacy". I don't think he wants to be seen as a guru, but quite sure she wants to make sure he is.

I think PH would greatly benefit from prolonged private therapy with Gabor Mate. I'd be happy to hear he'd done that.

I think PH would greatly benefit from prolonged private therapy with Gabor Mate. I'd be happy to hear he'd done that.

I'd be happy to hear he'd done that because I think it might bring him some actual peace, or bring him that possibility and that would be nice for him.

I think it’s very foolish to think your reaction to trauma is the only reasonable one, or that you out-trauma anyone else.

Empathy is important.

Very well said and well done for keeping an open mind and being aware of how the media has tried to manipulate you .

I've admired Gabor Mate for years. It's an honour for Harry to have GM do this event .

Manipulation by media vs. manipulation by puff piece 🙂

And yet Gabor himself is sitting with Harry for this discussion. I understand that some of you live in an echo chamber of discontent about how Harry chooses to work through his grief and trauma but you will have to accept the fact that his story resonates with a great deal of people too.

It's all about perspective.

I think PH would greatly benefit from prolonged private therapy with Gabor Mate. I'd be happy to hear he'd done that.

Gabor Maté is a physician not a therapist.

It will be interesting to hear the twenty questions that GM chooses. And interesting to see if PH fully answers them or uses the exercise to perpetuate his narrative. I wonder if he will have watched the SP episode and thought ''time to be real''.

Whether public or private, I think the exercise will still benefit Harry. Ordinarily oversharing is a common symptom of trauma. (Rebecca C Mandeville, Patrick Teahan, Alain Robarge, Jerry Wise, Anna Runkle) a lot of youtubers I follow all say this and it has been my past experience. I fall in to that trap a bit, over explaining my thought processes as a result of my perspective having been invalidated.

He's used to doing everything with a commentary of some description so I think to be optimistic H will benefit from this conversation. GM may not be a therapist but he's been working in the field long enough to know what questions to ask to make people reflect/reassess/stand firm in their own beliefs/sooth their wounded inner child. I think he will see what Harry's wound is and try to set him on the right path. I read that there are only really three or four wounds, the wound of abandonment, betrayal and shame. Sexual abuse can leave a person with all three wounds but there can be situations where you ''only'' have the wound of betrayal, or ''only'' abandonment and betrayal.

I'm honestly nearly tempted to pay the 17 pounds to listen to this.

I take it neither of you have read 'Spare'

It's about a lot more than Diana
It's about the UK media and their relationship with the 'royals' .
It's about how the 'royals' always need a fall guy / hate figure .
That position is now vacant.

It will be interesting to see what is fed to the hungry maw next .
I suspect Kate and or Willy
Charles is wily - or maybe it's Camilla . She has played the 'royalists' like a fiddle

I cross posed @xJoy - I wasn't replying to you .
I was replying to the forwarded post below

I agree with you - it looks interesting

😂

I haven't read Spare but i don't think there has to be bad guys. It's not like Harry is the secret good guy and Wills, Kate and Camilla are the secret bad guys.

We all know Kate had a very privileged childhood, and by privileged I mean two very supportive parents. When she was being bullied they took her out of her school and put her in a new one. They didn't imbue her with the message ''you need to learn to deal with it better'', no, the message KM got from her primary caregivers when she was being bullied was ''you deserve better than this and we are taking action''. She was never abandoned or betrayed or shamed by her parents. So, not saying she is perfect but I think she is capable of a secure attachment which probably shows William who would undoubtedly have some wounds how to relax in a secure relationship and not internalise everything external as slights (sleights)? wdi mean!

I think just witnessing people who have faith in themselves and have faith that they are loved and supported sets an example. You get a template, ah, don't need to read x, y and z in to that. Maybe I can just bring up x, get clarification, move on.

Harry has had a number of relationships before MM but they never seemed certain that he was worth the press intrusion.

Harry has been having a huge, public trauma response for years now. I don't blame Gabor for wanting to try and help. If anyone can, he can.

I'm sure if Gabor and Penguin genuinely wanted to help him then they would be chatting together privately.

No one wants him to stop talking about his personal trauma and it's affect on him...just stop inflicting it on others.

Many of Harry's problems is he's had too much of the wrong kind of therapy. Talking therapies often do nothing but relive and rehash the trauma keeping it top of the consciousness when it needs to sink down and be submerged under more positive memories. Emd is good short term, but research says it's not long lasting unless the trauma is resolved.

The recent bollox spouted by Harry in multiple medias demonstrate a near indoctrination (hence the incomprehensible word salad) into therapy induced woke gobbledygook

LOL, you know this is more about book promo than anything right? all authors do it, some even do a travelling tour with special guests once the book is released. This just happens to be a virtual version.

How exactly is he inflicting it on others?

People have to pay to attend this event, people have to pay to buy and read his book, people choose to read endless clickbait about him.

Acting like someone's put a gun to your head 😂

I'm also sick to death of Harry making money from the death of his mother. William also lost his mother and is dealing with it in a positive way. Harry had exactly the same access to therapists but seems to want to hang onto the trauma as his entire reason for existence.

STFU and stop monetising your dead mother. Utterly distasteful

Calm down love, it's only some book promo.

LOL, you know this is more about book promo than anything right? all authors do it, some even do a travelling tour with special guests once the book is released. This just happens to be a virtual version.

Of course it is!
Which goes back to my first post, its likely more chat 'all about poor me' waaaaggghhh and a continuation of 'The Privacy Tour' and an opportunity for Penguin to squeeze out some more sales. Smacks of another PR disaster and another episode for South Park. Funny the worst public slaying of the couple has come from the across the pond and not U.K..

The thing with good PR is to know when to press pause.

Meghan has it right Harry doesn't.

@tatalan

He's not inflicting it on me personally as I wouldn't waste the money, but it's on mainstream media. It's classless and distasteful. He's making money from his mothers death

You think that's a good look then? Clearly 🤣🤣🤣