Harry and Gabor

[laurwalsh]

My friend just sent me this. I adore Gabor mate and the work he does. His book 'in the realms of hungry ghosts' was life changing for me who had suffered serious addiction issues. But am I being too harsh to feel disappointed he's jumping on this band wagon of garbage. I'm sorry but Harry we're sick of listening to your trauma and no offence you've sung it to death, (and I don't even think it's that bad relative to how much he has gone on and on about it) and trauma aside you're a complete hypocrite with how you've treated you're family and the trauma you've put them through!!

It never amazes me how hostile and aggressive posters are towards not just H&M, but also those who support H&M. I do not even post here frequently enough, nor even give back even 2% of the hate energy that drips from these posters. Yet, they are here pretending to be offended.

You simply cannot be this hateful and vile and not be able to take a retort back when someone stands up for themselves. I never just attack people, but I will answer back.

One poster now has made up a story about how I somehow attacked them last year. No such thing. I will have answered something back to an offence of theirs. One thing I never do is out of the blue personally attack posters, and everyone who has been here for years knows that. Hell, I can hardly keep up with the name changers as it is.
Another is now twisting me laughing at the portrayal of MM bad parenting, and are now saying I was laughing at mental health.
That is the style with anti H&M, people always lie and twist things about them or anyone who supports them.

The dog whistle and calls to gang up and grey stone someone is the usual technique. Try to hound posters out.

You tone down your hateful, aggressive energy, you get responses with the same energy.

I will definitely miss out names, so don't want to offend anyone, but the proH&M posters are the most rational, patient posters I have ever come across.

I wonder if this was a pre-arranged event as part of the post launch book promotion by PenguinRandomHouse and if there will be more?

Or is this PH’s new role as a self appointed MH ambassador? I don’t know if that’s been though through as if he is positioning himself as someone who has been through trauma, then therapy and come out the other-side recovered and mentally healthy then I am not sure he is convincing enough to be an aspirational story of ‘success’ but maybe he is an example of a work progress which is heartening.

I do hope he can find peace with his Dad and brother as his own children will have an awful lot to lose by not being part of an extended family especially one that will be so visible to them over their lives via the media.

I also believe that the depth of his bitterness also reveals existence of (previous?) sub conscious complex love and emotional intimacy as if there were none he would be indifferent where as he is deeply hurting. I think it would be a huge relief to him to stop seeking an apology, reconnect and build a different new more adult to adult relationship with his Dad and brother for the sake of all the little cousins and the next generation - but especially for his own children as these are the ones who are missing out the most. I wonder if as a parent he has the foresight and wisdom to set aside his bitterness to allow his children to have a rich extended family life experience which they won’t get with the Markles.

I think you're right, @Ooompaloopa - holding out for an apology from his family isn't really a way forward. It may be healthier - even if he's in the right - extending the olive branch and trying to move forward. Although he's caused a lot of hurt, it can't be unredeemable. Haven't we all compromised like that in life?
It would be a pity, as you say, if Archie and Lilibet never know their UK relatives, especially cousins.

Well said @notanotheroneagain

I've seen it time and time again.

It's interesting. There are threads that are more anti and threads that are more pro. And some are 50/50 (they're my favourite) If you find yourself on a more 'anti' one, as opposed to 'pro' (and being of the opposite view) it can be a really unpleasant experience (and may well be the case in reverse but I can't speak for others). I try to avoid them as I might have a thick skin but having been subjected to all sorts of trolling and doxxing on some of these threads over years, I have to be very mentally robust to cope with it. And we all have days where it just becomes too much.

Likewise I never launch personal attacks out the blue I just retaliate when I am attacked. Why can't I? When you have posters who NC, just to attack with their first post with that name, and who literally make stuff up (like telling me most of my posts are deleted because I bully people all the time) I am going to answer back and defend myself. The day I feel incapable of standing up for myself is the day I leave MN.

To deliberately rally posters on an anti thread telling others to ignore certain posters, pigeons on chess boards and all that is horrible. Back in the day there were numbered threads with a massive clique of posters and I and a couple of others were lone voices who tried to post with a different view. All the time they posted 'SOB' (scroll on by) instructing others to post SOB. MN had to step in to stop it. Nothing has changed has it? Why not just make your own decisions and ignore a poster if that is what you want. It's your prerogative. We all do it at times. But to corral posters on a thread telling them to ignore a particular poster is bullying, plain and simple. And it makes it an echo chamber, which is obviously what you want if you tell posters to ignore others.

You don't want to hear this, it interrupts your 'discussions' but to my mind, it has to be said.

here is an interesting article about Gabor Mate. I first heard of him when I started my research about adhd and his ideas didn’t resonate with me so I personally discounted his work. I will look at his work around addiction though and have ordered a book

www.psychologytoday.com/ie/blog/addiction-in-society/201112/the-seductive-dangerous-allure-gabor-mat?amp

@Roussette.@notanotheroneagain good posts

That’s a very interesting article - thanks for sharing. I work in Mental Health and there is a lot is skepticism of Mate’s guru status not backed up by the rigour and discipline of science. He makes an incredible amount of money on the circuit and one wonders when he has time to practice what he preaches.

I am not surprised he attached himself to Prince Harry as this is another high profile revenue stream for the ‘influencer’ (he has just launched another book).

He’s totally unprofessional and unethical to ‘treat’ trauma in this format and to ‘diagnose’ a major neuro diverse condition on a public platform.

So from that article, it's quite possible that it was GM who introduced Harry to Ayahuasca?

I have no idea if they have met before or if PH was previously officially in a treatment programme with GM for trauma or addiction - but I suspect not?

It seems - correct me if I am wrong - that Harry has only claimed to have had talking therapy fortnightly for a relatively short period of time?

Well GM is based in Vancouver and H and M lived there for a while so it sounds quite feasible to me.

Thats a good point I hadn’t thought of that

Could well be likely then.

“and who literally make stuff up (like telling me most of my posts are deleted because I bully people all the time)”

When were these words actually said? Not aware that anyone said ‘most’ - or ‘bully’ or ‘all the time’ ….

I suggest that you are hugely exaggerating and misrepresenting what was said - if it’s the previous exchange I recall as I outline below. If it’s another exchange with someone else then obviously I can’t answer to that.

“Likewise I never launch personal attacks out the blue I just retaliate when I am attacked.”

You have had posts deleted for personal attacks - you cannot now go on to justify these as retaliation to defend your personal attacks…..that’s just nonsense.

Just report any original perceived attack to MNHQ and either ignore the post or respond appropriately and assertively rather than indulging in DARVO.

IIRC in the original exchange on another thread you said (rather forcefully IMHO) that you never had a post deleted in all your years on MN.

I stated that was not true and pointed to the posts on that exact thread where you had been reported for personal attacks and these were deleted by MNHQ.

Maybe it’s a case where you disagree with MNHQ criteria for what constitutes a personal attack as we all have different value systems.

@Ooompaloopa

I’ve really enjoyed your insights, can you work with addiction in your MH role.

You are totally incorrect in what you say.

If it’s another exchange with someone else then obviously I can’t answer to that.

If you read my post properly you would know I didn't mean on this thread, but elsewhere in the past. With endless NCers just coming on threads to launch PAs, post nasty stuff, then disappear.

You might like to think I am hugely exaggerating. Believe me (you won't) I am probably telling you 10% of what it's been like in the past. I am very wary now.

I know of no PAs where I have been deleted.
I have been deleted for repeating deleted posts. A poster came on and said that "most of my posts were deleted because I bully". Clearly untrue. This was a different time and thread to what you're talking about.

I know, and you can post what you like about me and question my 'value system' if that makes you feel better

You sound a bit obsessed with me. You have receipts? On me? Good grief. I know nothing about you, I don't check your history, never have and have no idea whether you have deleted posts and for what reasons. (disclaimer see next paragraph). You may well have. You obviously reported me. Well done you!

When a poster (not you) comes on overnight and I wake to a post from someone with a new name saying "most of my posts are deleted because I am a bully". I will deny that. It is not true. That was my point. But you pore over your 'receipts' on me. That's fine, I can cope. And I still won't be looking into your history, impossible to do anyway when you are a new name. (Yes, I did look this time, never have before, you were reborn less than a week ago, hope it wasn't painful!)
I set myself up for 'receipts' don't I, as I have had the same name for over a decade.

@Ooompaloopa An interview with Oprah he said it was 4 years, so about 6 years. According to Harry. However he had drug issues as a teen and young man so did he get help then? When he says therapy does he mean the Californian type of therapy? Not convinced Harry tells the truth about anything.

I am just keen on truth and calmly and consistently calling out untruths and exaggerations.

We all get automated email receipts from MNHQ from reports.

You reacting by suggesting that someone is obsessed with you in such a defensive tone just because they are able to evidence the truth with standard automated receipts it’s a good look for you.

Yes ! Automatic email, I also have those and can link to thread to back up what I said .

However I will say @Roussette , did get an awful lot of flack constantly in earlier threads , I imagine she's probably a bit ticked off about it! .
I'm also sad that two posters who I thought were more balanced would align with one who is not !
Any way this thread is well away from pint now.

Point not pint! , although that sounds good!

@purpledalmation , I saw you mention the app on another thread , anymore insight?
Is it really charging?
Not doubting what you've said just amazed really.

We all get automated email receipts from MNHQ from reports.

Not once have I got an automated email receipt from MNHQ unless I have been the one reporting the post. Which tells me something lol

I'm not understanding. If I report a post, I get a message. Sometimes saying they are looking into it. Sometimes saying they have deleted it.

Is that what you mean? I have never had an automatic email for anything else.

I could do with a 🍺 or two!