Just finished 'Spare'...

[HerReputationMadeItDifficultToProceed]

… and I encourage anyone who’s even vaguely interested in this story to give it a read. Especially if what’s been leaked has made you at all angry, because I think in context everything makes a lot of sense.

I wasn’t a Harry and Meghan hater before reading this, but I wasn’t a fan girl either. Like many Brits, I find a lot of Americans- especially West Coast Americans- quite irritating and Meghan firmly falls into that camp for me. I’m sure she’s nice enough, but she’s very American and very perky and much like Wednesday Addams, I don’t do perky. However, I suspect that her intentions and generally good and that like most of us she’s got good and bad qualities. She’s clearly ambitious and I think that she probably initially dated Harry based on that ambition and on getting a platform, although I think that she genuinely loves him now.

The ghost writer has done a great job at capturing Harry’s personality I think; he comes across as introspective and thoughtful but funny and bright.

I think that Harry has a good soul; I think that he’s kind and has had a hard time of it growing up. I also think he’s a bit clueless and naive and has been in a bubble, but I think he acknowledges that and wants to understand and change. Undoubtedly losing his mother at the age he was had more of an outward impact on him than it had on William. He’s also been a victim of his dad’s wishywashy parenting. It sounds like- and looks like to me from my vantage point as a normal citizen who knows bugger all except what I’ve seen in the media- that Charles has been there for his kids to an extent, but not in a hands on or especially useful way. It also seems clear that Charles has always put Camilla first. From almost the moment Diana died it seems that he wanted, above everything else, to rehabilitate Camilla’s image so that they could marry. I think that he put that above being a father and the way Harry writes about their relationship makes that clear too.

I also think that it’s suited the palace to portray Harry as dimwitted and feckless to show William in a better light and that Harry has every right to be angry about that and not want to play that game anymore (and to call it out now). Especially as it’s obvious that the palace haven’t kept up their side of the bargain and protected Harry from the media in return.

I also think that the media have treated H and M poorly and it’s clearly the case that the palace has used them and news stories about them to divert from other newsworthy problems… certainly Prince Andrew, perhaps William’s affair/s. Is Harry overly jumpy about the media and the paparazzi in particular? Yes, of course. Who wouldn’t be with his background. But they’ve also obviously been hounded and harassed.

I do think that Harry is on a journey that he isn’t at the end of yet, but I think that he realises that too. I think that he was always going to leave the royal family and that Meghan didn’t cause what’s happened, she was just the catalyst for it. I think that he’s been scapegoated and an afterthought within his nuclear family and I don’t blame him for being angry. I think that he means well and is essentially good. And I don’t think that anyone who’s read the whole book would be able to disagree.

More than anything I think it’s clear that the British Royal Family is no longer fit for purpose; the way they live, bring up their children, pay their members for work and demand unrealistic levels of protocol and formality is no longer working in the 21st century. These people need purpose and lives beyond the crown and those on the edges of the heir shouldn’t have to live their lives in service of the their. Realistically H and M could have worked as royals and had private interests, the RF chose not to bend to help them live fulfilling lives because of its own, outdated reasons.

Yes - commenting on this thread (didn't read it all just wanted to give my point of view re his book) is hardly the same thing as reading his book is it?

My thoughts exactly. There’s no accountability from Harry and I don’t believe for one second that only the RF have done things wrong here. He’s unfortunately just made himself sound like a spoilt brat and sold his soul to the devil. Little chance of coming back from this, with his family or the public.

I’m inclined to agree with this

Especially when they know the people they are talking shit about can't respond. Despicable behaviour imo.

I wonder how many people who have bought it will read it completely or as attentively as the OP though.

I am going to give it a miss, as my main feeling is sadness at the estrangement from his dad and brother.

I disagree about the accountability - he said about various scenarios that he wish he acted differently but after every bit of his life being lied about, i understand how he has had enough.

Agree.

And Harry's a product of that dysfunction.

Everyone saying he's spoilt and self indulgent etc are only looking at his current behaviour from their own bias that they don't agree a multi millionaire who's lived a "privileged" life should be unhappy.

But are defining privilege in their own way that it equates to money, secure housing, trips abroad and an independent education.

If we look at privilege as security, love and freedom to follow your own path you see a different viewpoint and can have some sympathy with Harry.

Personally I think Spare doesn't tell any of us what we didn't know deep down about the institution.

But many are uncomfortable with it being in print because it's harder to ignore.

But that's exactly what h&m are doing, but knowing their targets can't defend themselves.

It does rather betray the "interest" that so many of these people claim not to have, though.

If you're interested enough to read and post on threads about the book, why not just read the darn thing?

If we look at privilege as security, love and freedom to follow your own path you see a different viewpoint and can have some sympathy with Harry.

This is how personally I see it. However, the reality is to have real freedom to follow the path you want is in itself privilege that a large proportion of people don’t have for whatever reason. Poverty, poor education, disability, poor health etc etc. A lot of people would think that H&M need to suck it up because they are lucky. Personally I wouldn’t swap my life for theirs so I think I am more understanding. But I definitely felt from the documentary they seem to expect life to be easy and it isn’t for anyone.

I have also finished Spare, I don’t think its as salacious as the media painting it out to be.
I think it’s quite sad how William kept Harry at arm length, and they never seemed to pass the competitive stage with each other.

I do believe in Harry truths, but I also like to hear William truths, his side of the story but we never will. I been reading articles the RF may be arranging a peace meeting with Harry, makes the people who hate Harry seem a bit stupid if that’s the case…you been defending the RF but they are arranging to make up with Harry.

Beautifully and elegantly put.Thanks for sharing.

I do not think sending a grieving child off to boarding school at 12 is good parenting.

It's obviously very difficult and everyone's circumstances will be different, but settling children back into their usual routine is a very common approach. I'm not surprised they felt it would be better for Harry to be busy with school and his friends than to be on his own at home when Charles had to work.

There's a father and a brother there some want Harry destined to oblivion and worse forever. They don't love the RF if that's the case.

Reading a few posts or threads on MN is not the same as buying and reading the book. I read the threads and I comment but I haven’t watched any of their output other than the highlights and have no intention of reading the book.

@HerReputationMadeItDifficultToProceed
Great post OP
And @vera99 great post re the wider problem with the UK monarchy and the media .
The hand of the establishment is being shown these days - they are usually more discrete .
They know change is afoot

I don't believe the 'royals' are genuine in wanting reconciliation but I believe they are genuine in wanting to control the optics
Harry has more to say and the family know what he has held back

Thank you for that post. I bought in to the whole “Meghan is a narcissist sociopath” and believed the stories. That was until I realised what was happening...

I live in Australia where Prince Andrew’s CSA accuser - Virginia also lives. Every single time something was reported on about the Prince Andrew allegations and later the civil trial - there would be something bad that Meghan had done.

The whole Meghan made Kate cry was utterly ridiculous, then the drama with the tiara. Why wouldn’t the media report that the reason Meghan was denied the tiara she was shown it was because Eugenie wore the tiara?! It had nothing to do with stolen minerals (the royal family has stolen a lot over the years) - it was because Eugenie wanted it - but the palace couldn’t have any bad press on Eugenie because everyone was already saying he was a liar and guilty of CSA.

So these bad stories came out about Meghan and Piers Morgan complained about her too and I believed it for the longest time.

Until Piers Morgan would not let it go. Piers needs to understand that women aren’t obligated to give a man continued attention just because they went out for dinner with them. Piers is an ugly man inside and out. But it would still have been wrong for her to continue any form of a relationship even if he wasn’t press - because she was dating another man!!

I think Charles was a bad father and I actually think William’s positive image isn’t because he is a wonderful person but because the palace has sold out to the British press and feeds them less favourable stories of other royals in exchange for favourable stories about William.

Why is it that no one from the British press is talking about his affair with that Chomley woman? Why is it that the “pegging” story was killed as soon as it came out? The press are killing stories that portray William in a negative light and instead putting out the negative stories about Meghan.

Further, Meghan was right to have complained about not being paid for her appearances. She was absolutely right!! How often do we as women do work that we are not paid for? Work that is just expected of us because we are women?

I am firmly on Harry’s side. I believe him - because he has come out and confirmed my own suspicions.

The real story is how much the royal family have stolen from other countries and their close connections to pedophiles (Epstein, Saville & Rolph Harris).

The real story is how much the palace knew of Andrew engaging with a sex trafficking pedophile and how much they facilitated it.

Harry was right to get his family away from his own family that enabled and protected multiple pedophiles.

The real story still hasn’t been told.

Excellent post

charles and diana's marriage ended before her death anyway, in 1992, so saying he was in a hurry to put camilla in her place seems incorrect.
i agree the papers have had a huge part in this which we know anyway, although it is hard to know this due to our information actually coming from the papers!
interesting you say meghan married harry because she was initally ambitious. but has grown to love him.
i doubt i will read the book

Well said!! What a crazy, media driven world we live in!!!

i believe the royal family is in trouble regardless, with the loss of the queen

we dont know whether charles hugged harry, or is that in the book?
charles himself is a victim of his own upbringing

I’m halfway through.

I didn’t have much of an opinion on them either way as I don’t follow the news. It seems everyone who hates them, reads the news. I just don’t know how you can hate someone you’ve never even met.

anyway.

my feelings are that he was a broken little boy after the loss of his mother and this has impacted him greatly going forward. The lack of love and the outward pressures just really messed that poor man up.

i haven’t got to the Meghan part but honestly the opinions of her disgust me. They are happy with eachother and that’s all that matters. She’s never hurt me and she looks like a really genuine person from the documentaries etc.

overall my opinion hasn’t changed but I do have more understanding of what he has been through.

I take what he says about his brother and father etc with a punch of salt, it’s all perception, but I really sympathise with him as a boy who lost his mother and got no support.

It’s in the book that he woke him up, touched his knee, delivered the news then walked back out again.