Just finished 'Spare'...

[HerReputationMadeItDifficultToProceed]

… and I encourage anyone who’s even vaguely interested in this story to give it a read. Especially if what’s been leaked has made you at all angry, because I think in context everything makes a lot of sense.

I wasn’t a Harry and Meghan hater before reading this, but I wasn’t a fan girl either. Like many Brits, I find a lot of Americans- especially West Coast Americans- quite irritating and Meghan firmly falls into that camp for me. I’m sure she’s nice enough, but she’s very American and very perky and much like Wednesday Addams, I don’t do perky. However, I suspect that her intentions and generally good and that like most of us she’s got good and bad qualities. She’s clearly ambitious and I think that she probably initially dated Harry based on that ambition and on getting a platform, although I think that she genuinely loves him now.

The ghost writer has done a great job at capturing Harry’s personality I think; he comes across as introspective and thoughtful but funny and bright.

I think that Harry has a good soul; I think that he’s kind and has had a hard time of it growing up. I also think he’s a bit clueless and naive and has been in a bubble, but I think he acknowledges that and wants to understand and change. Undoubtedly losing his mother at the age he was had more of an outward impact on him than it had on William. He’s also been a victim of his dad’s wishywashy parenting. It sounds like- and looks like to me from my vantage point as a normal citizen who knows bugger all except what I’ve seen in the media- that Charles has been there for his kids to an extent, but not in a hands on or especially useful way. It also seems clear that Charles has always put Camilla first. From almost the moment Diana died it seems that he wanted, above everything else, to rehabilitate Camilla’s image so that they could marry. I think that he put that above being a father and the way Harry writes about their relationship makes that clear too.

I also think that it’s suited the palace to portray Harry as dimwitted and feckless to show William in a better light and that Harry has every right to be angry about that and not want to play that game anymore (and to call it out now). Especially as it’s obvious that the palace haven’t kept up their side of the bargain and protected Harry from the media in return.

I also think that the media have treated H and M poorly and it’s clearly the case that the palace has used them and news stories about them to divert from other newsworthy problems… certainly Prince Andrew, perhaps William’s affair/s. Is Harry overly jumpy about the media and the paparazzi in particular? Yes, of course. Who wouldn’t be with his background. But they’ve also obviously been hounded and harassed.

I do think that Harry is on a journey that he isn’t at the end of yet, but I think that he realises that too. I think that he was always going to leave the royal family and that Meghan didn’t cause what’s happened, she was just the catalyst for it. I think that he’s been scapegoated and an afterthought within his nuclear family and I don’t blame him for being angry. I think that he means well and is essentially good. And I don’t think that anyone who’s read the whole book would be able to disagree.

More than anything I think it’s clear that the British Royal Family is no longer fit for purpose; the way they live, bring up their children, pay their members for work and demand unrealistic levels of protocol and formality is no longer working in the 21st century. These people need purpose and lives beyond the crown and those on the edges of the heir shouldn’t have to live their lives in service of the their. Realistically H and M could have worked as royals and had private interests, the RF chose not to bend to help them live fulfilling lives because of its own, outdated reasons.

@vera99 Your last paragraph sums it all up for me.

I’m half way through the book and so far it’s nothing like the press have portrayed it to be. The description of losing his mother is heart breaking and completely explains to me his feelings and actions regarding the press and his wife. The press had a huge role to play in the death of his mother and then went for his wife. Now they just continue to bait the public into hating these 2 people. And what have they done? Certainly nothing compared to Andrew. Why aren’t we hearing about him all day long?

I want to hear what Harry is saying not what the Daily Mail is telling me that Harry is saying.

OP given your ability to summarise well, I’m surprised that you can’t recognise the probability of bias when an unhappy person is writing about their perspective on their unhappy life.

This is the real story about how the media manipulates, and how the British media in particular are bullies. But everyone is happy to ignore this for some reason 🤨

Wow, a balanced, thoughtful post for once on this bonkers board. Yes OP, I agree.

Can the usual lot of haters on here not realise that you are being manipulated by the media in order to distract from Andrew? Why isn't there thread after thread on this board about Andrew and how despicable he is? I wonder...

@Undaunted77

Spot on

It’s a nice, well thought out response OP, but that’s if you believe what’s written.

I don’t.

Recollections may vary, it’s their truth, and unlikely to be the real truth.

It’s his book commissioned by him. Surely a good quality ghostwriter is going to present him in the best possible light.

it almost like that’s surprising

It’s in the book- it’s been mentioned Un the press and Harry said he regretted it in the book. He was casual too and the Queen had got dressed up in one of her bright suits wearing a hat.

Are you surprised that in his book, commissioned by him, he is portrayed in a good light? 😂
I’ve read it and to be honest I was surprised at how badly they both came across in the book. He is stuck at age 12 and very, very dim and out of touch. Consistent drug use for years and years. Even when in hiding he seemed to access these drugs easily, how was that? He is paranoid, petty and unkind. Only him and Meghan are allowed to have feelings.

Thankyou for that really nice summary op.

There is a scandal of how the RF,army and police covered that law breaking on an epic scale. One law for the rich and all that.

You’ve reacted to it just as they planned - apparently well written, sympathetic to Harry etc. you’ve fallen for it. The reality is, whether you're a fan or not, Harry is harassing his family, he’s revealing private things others have not given their permission for, he bullied a disabled woman and accused her of not being ‘horny’ material, although I’m assuming not in the book he is cruel to his polo ponies, he has a serious mummy complex that is downright cringey and disturbing, he’s blackmailing his family in that he’s now said he has more stuff he’s held back. This entire thing from beginning to end is one big toddler tantrum. A nicely produced book doesn’t cancel out any of those things.

I've been digging around to find people who have read the book. I've found it slightly the other way - slightly more than half came out of the book feeling negative about H&M.

Undoubtedly losing his mother at the age he was had more of an outward impact on him than it had on William.

I am sick of reading this. Harry was 12, and Wiliam was 15. It's like, oh William was an adult so he could deal with it. He was a child too. I don't think there is a lot in it. H thinks he is the only one on the planet that has ever lost a parent young. Yes, I get that he was in the spotlight, the media circus etc. and that was terrible. So was William. In addition, William has all the pressure of being a future King and having to stay lily-white his whole life. William has more pressure on him than Harry and he also lost his mother. No one gives a shit about his MH.

My mother died when I was 17. I didn't have nannies, free accommodation, free clothes, meals cooked for me, first class travel, a massive family full of aunts and uncles and cousins and paid staff. I didnt inherit 20m.

I did have an awful Step Mum, had to get a job, had to move out and buy my own sofa and lamp.

I'm sorry for harry's loss, but I am not interested in his book, mainly because I am not giving him £14.99 of my money.

I’d love to know from the H & M supporters how do you justify their lack of clarity on the obvious lies and misinformation. The racism thing is a classic example. They both know the press well enough to know insinuations will be made. And then H comes out all faux wide eyed innocent and said we didn’t say the RF are racist it was the PRESS that did that! Yet they won an award for that exact thing!!

Does that not make you uncomfortable?

Also can anybody explain to me what the differences are between ‘lived experience’ and ‘experience’? Also between ‘our truth’ and ‘anecdotal evidence’? Would any of it stand up in a court of law?

I liked most of the book. Really sad early loss of his mum and, as someone who has had a major bereavement quite early in life, I can relate to all the signs he felt came from her through this life. I was taken aback when Henners died - another horrible tragedy for Harry. I can see he is trying to give us insights into his thoughts and feelings and he does that well.

Occasional unnecessarily bitchy moments in my opinion. The context does make a difference to what was in the press. The lip gloss moment for example was less of a big deal for Kate in the book and more of the press blowing something out of proportion.

The end of the book doesn’t really make sense though unless William is a very jealous and irrational man. Meghan must have done something significant to upset him and that just isn’t mentioned in the book at all. I can sort of believe that Charles and Camilla were trying to keep their press positive by allowing less positive stories about both his sons and wives out there although it does seem weird, but Harry says that William was cross about this happening to him too and it happened between Charles and Diana so maybe.

It's eight paragraphs. Hardly "War and Peace". At least read the full post if you're going to comment.

You couldn’t be bothered to read the post but you could still type out your not particularly short bile? Ok.

I think that’s a good synopsis OP

I have about as much interest in reading about Harry's "journey" as he would have in reading about mine.

I haven’t read it, and I agree with most of the OP other than I would spin the royal family and their assets down more rather than get rid entirely.

I would add though that the pair of them are very self obsessed and they don’t seem to really appreciate the extent of their privilege and how this must appear to the less privileged. I also think that they need to make a hell of a lot of money and that is a significant driver.

The biggest think for me though is the nauseating, sycophantic tendency of the media to hero worship the Waleses as ‘goodies’ and the Sussexes as ‘baddies’. The truth is clearly in the middle.

And the palace are quite clearly loving and encouraging all the coverage to keep the attention away from the disgusting Andrew. I realised during covid how most people fall for propaganda and here it is again.

I have about as much interest in reading about Harry's "journey" as he would have in reading about mine.

But you opened the thread and commented anyway 🤷🏻‍♀️🤣

Morning
I’ve just finished reading it also.

I don’t for a second think he has thrown any member of his family under the bus. He spoke very lovingly about each member, despite his dad being aloof, he spoke about loving him and how much he knew his dad loved him (just didn’t really offer any physical affection). He also spoke fondly of Kate and Will. He said there have been times when they have said something that hurt him, but he desperately wanted their approval. He also said even though both he & will we’re not sure of the union between Camilla and his dad (I don’t think I would like that either after witnessing the affects it had on my mom) he did say the over riding feeling was one of happiness, he was glad his dad was happy, and he and Will agreed on that.

what struck me is how much he always wanted a family and a wife, saying that he wanted to be a young dad, pretty much from his late 20s.

Also the grief in his life doesn’t start and end with his mom, he lost a really close friend, and his great grandma who he references a lot.

He also speaks about the mistakes he made, Vegas, his racist slurs, the nazi outfit, and in all those scenarios I think he behaved like an immature lad, but each time he took steps to amend his behaviour, which is all you can ask surely? Incidentally the P word friend, never thought it was racist, and when he apologised to him and his family, they all said no need. (An apology was definitely needed IMO)

Context is everything though, and it amused me how the papers didn’t pick up on Rebekah Brooks and The Thumb (is that Piers?) Their behaviour over the years has been abhorrent. Aside from phone hacking, they had tracking devices put on cars, and the two photographers Tweedle Dum & Tweedle Dee who hounded Harry and would shout Gun and run at him - what the hell????

I think he has probably overshared- we didn’t need to know about his frostnip penis, but having read it, I do understand the choices he made and it does seem clear that they can do absolutely no right. They were even hounded when we were in lockdown and nothing was happening!

If you are refusing to read it (fair enough, your choice) then I would also suggest refusing to read the papers because they are giving you lots of falsehoods

@HerReputationMadeItDifficultToProceed

I have only read your OP but I agree with all you say, you put it succinctly and it is what I feel after about halfway through the book for me so far.

@MattDillonsEyebrows its because the truth is in the middle. No more or less. I don’t think either side is perfect in any way.