Kate seems to have known that none of the dresses fitted, if it's true that she said all of the dresses would have to be made again. This wording is corroborated by the statement of Ajay, the tailor, to the press, yesterday, that none of the dresses fitted properly. So Kate, to know this, was obviously in touch with all of the other mums of the bridesmaids, or else she had spoken to Ajay to arrange the alterations and he had said that they were so off the proper measurements, that they'd need to be redone.
Meghan didn't say: "I'm sorry Charlotte was upset, poor lamb", or what you'd expect her to say. She acted like a boss. Her message said the equivalent of, ' That's it, come and get them fixed, there's the solution.' But this isn't surprising, as she's reported as saying, via a vis staff: ' I'm not here to coddle people', so that's how she sees her style; and being sensitive and empathetic is coddling people.
This is being framed as a personal issue, but I doubt that it would have been. It is a multi million pound state wedding, paid for, in large part, by the British tax payer, and various courtiers and members of the Royal Family have been tasked with guiding Meghan as to what protocol would allow. Somebody told her that you can't have air freshener in the wedding chapel, somebody tells her tights for bridesmaids are de rigeur. This is an organisational issue.
If the press reported at the time that Kate cried, then she probably did. Not about Charlotte or her own feelings, but because the Queen had depended on her to make sure the bridesmaids dresses were correct and followed form, and it was turning into a disaster.