Page 3 | Does Harry dislike his family?

User57713 · 05/12/2022 20:11

I think he's been seriously damaged by his early life. Nothing about it was normal, even before his parents' marriage broke down. Then his mum died, he didn't even get to grieve her normally. I was trying to explain to ds16 quite how crazy people went when she died. Imagine being her young son.
I'm not sure how even the most expensive therapy in the world can fix that.

But he shouldn't be putting it all out in public. He's being badly advised, or he's just not thinking straight. He probably doesn't know who he can really trust. He's just broken. He needs to step right back and let himself heal. I feel for him.

sageandrosemary · 05/12/2022 20:12

Probably and who could blame him.

catinboots123 · 05/12/2022 20:12

Pickawindow · 05/12/2022 19:24

As someone whose mum died when I was 13 and dad when I was 19, I have had literally NOONE ever ask me how I felt about it or ask me to tell my story or anything like it.

As much as Harry does, I believe, love his family of origin, I think somehow in his relationship with Meghan he tapped into that anger at the depths of his pain never really being acknowledged. His absolute paranoia about Meghan’s safety is very much based in reality as was recently disclosed by a senior security leader, she was getting creditable death threats constantly. I think his love for her and the pressure of his past trauma + the pressure of his role has meant he has gone to a place where he could just burn the whole thing down (whether he quite understands that would be the result or not).

Of course William experienced the same loss but it seems the emotional support he got from Catherine and her extended family has given him a way to work through and diffuse a lot of his own pain and anger.

Therapy is a not a magic cure all. People don’t want to think horrible experiences that all humans face can’t be dealt as if they are normal and having a normal reaction to trauma (fear, pain, depression, anger, lack of purpose and motivation). If you have people around you that reassure you it’s terrible but part of being human and you are not a weirdo I think people can work through it better.

It seems Harry just didn’t have that. It seems a lot was swept under the carpet and he was expected to carry on when he was actually pretty lost and lonely. I think he was vulnerable and his vulnerability has gone nuclear. To me he has the classic rage of the bereaved child that never had resolution.

I'm sorry that's so tragic xxx j hope you have love and light in your life now

Squamata · 05/12/2022 20:26

He's had so much therapy that he sees himself as a victim, rather than both beneficiary AND victim of a fucked up system. Therapy is not designed for princes!

Without the royal connection he's just a plain, not particularly intelligent man. Without royalty he's nothing but he finds being within it intolerable. So he imagines there could be a good version of royalty where people don't get fucked up because everyone is nice to them.

In reality royalty is about saying some people are inherently better and more deserving than others, and that's fucked up from the start.

He's kind of railing at the system, shouting 'make me into nothing!' because royalty is his whole identity.

If I was him I'd buy a nice ranch and raise llamas or something.

Proudofitbabe · 05/12/2022 20:30

heartchakra · 05/12/2022 20:06

His income depends on massive dirt dumps. End of. He's thrown his family under the bus for money. Obviously it also allows a very destructive form of outlet for him. I think Meghan has and continues to feed off this internal rage, throwing oil on the flames to continue the damage and subsequent interest and/or income. He's the idiot here. His family clearly love him. It's all very sad and unnecessary.

Totally agree. They don't need to do this, in fact since the California move you'd barely hear about them unless THEY initiate it - Oprah/podcasts/Finding Freedom/Spare. Now this. Money is the motivator, and I think lingering childhood resentment/anger justifies it in Harry's mind.

It's his family and his Royal connection so ultimately I blame him for throwing them under the bus - but she's well and truly there nurturing his worst side to keep the gravy train moving.

oakleaffy · 05/12/2022 20:37

ajandjjmum · 05/12/2022 19:11

Harry used to really love his family, especially his brother, SIL and their children. Something changed, and now he hates them all.

Agreed-
He seemed to go off his family and become estranged from them
only in the last few years.
Some suggest his wife may be to blame?
Possibly!
She is estranged from her family, mother apart.

Time will tell if their own children will become estranged in turn..
That would be sadly ironic.

Purplemagnolias · 05/12/2022 20:46

Without the royal connection he's just a plain, not particularly intelligent man.

Yes!

I wonder whether Meghan would have fallen in love with him.....

BasiliskStare · 05/12/2022 20:48

@Squamata - I do somewhat agree with you - Harry has been cosseted - given money & then marries a very punchy woman Personally ( I do not know the man ) He has never at 38 earned his own money & has been looked after. He said the RF has a hierarchy - of course they do & that is true of the RF whether you like them or not. But then - given hierarchy - My son is Mr Basilisk Jnr - not a prince

I do think Harry has to wise up a bit.

lightand · 05/12/2022 20:49

He must hate them.

He couldnt carry on doing what he is doing otherwise.

stuntbubbles · 05/12/2022 20:51

ajandjjmum · 05/12/2022 19:11

Harry used to really love his family, especially his brother, SIL and their children. Something changed, and now he hates them all.

I thought the falling out began with his disgust at Will’s affair, then got compounded by Kate making his fiancé cry. Plus the rehabilitation of Camilla. Add in the media shitstorm, social media hounding and death threats against Meghan, with the Palace constantly briefing against him, I’d not be thrilled with them either.

thenightsky · 05/12/2022 20:56

Theunamedcat · 05/12/2022 19:44

Defend himself from what? No-one is attacking HIM

But he needs them to. He needs to be seen to be fighting against something. The big hero.

LadyVictoriaSponge · 05/12/2022 20:58

All this psychoanalysis of Harry is giving the situation too much credit, if the Queen had agreed to the half in half out measure, i.e just the glamorous bits of royal life plus being able monetising themselves in America the pair would be happy as Larry, this is just revenge because they didn’t get their own way, it’s no deeper than that.

Persimmo · 05/12/2022 20:58

StormzyinaTCup · 05/12/2022 19:20

Your post reads as if PH was an only child.

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His mother died because she didn’t put a seatbelt on.

Octopusmittens · 05/12/2022 21:02

But Harry wasn’t going to be ‘out’ OP.
Prince Charles had made it clear that the slimmed down monarchy was going to include Harry and Meghan, obviously now he’s King, circumstances have changed.

diddl · 05/12/2022 21:03

this is just revenge because they didn’t get their own way, it’s no deeper than that.

I think that you might be right.

But what are they hoping to achieve?

KnickerlessParsons · 05/12/2022 21:04

heldinadream · 05/12/2022 19:10

Well you know his vulnerable mother died arguably because his father married her under false pretences, never loved her, had an affair all their married life, and all with the total approval of his family because the firm was more important than dispensable individuals. Then he had to walk behind her coffin on TV. Etc etc. He obviously adored his mother and she him.

What would you feel towards your family in those circs?

Is he angry at the Spencer family too? For selling Diana down the river. They were desperate for her to marry PC.

VivienneDelacroix · 05/12/2022 21:04

I think the way Meghan was /is treated by the media has made him realise what his mother went through and he came shake that.
I think he's pretty powerless against one of the world's most established institutions and is doing all he can - rightly or wrongly.

MistletoeandBaileys · 05/12/2022 21:06

He’s desperately unhappy and I also think he’s unbelievably lost too. There is something deeper going on with Harry that I don’t think we will ever know about. Maybe it’s the fact his brother and he have reached the ages his mother was when she died.

He has always been used to getting his own way. He strikes me as a child who for the first time in his life has been told no and he’s melting down over it.

I fully believe he misled Meghan on what it would be like. I fully believe he told her one story when the reality of the situation was different. Not that I think Meghan is innocent in it all but I don’t buy the evil Meghan narrative either.

I think he knows the relationship with his family will never be the same anymore. I can’t ever see a day when William in particular forgives him.

I think he is clinging on to Meghan because she’s all he has left. But really I think Meghan will get fed up of him too.

I do believe they will divorce. I hope he manages to build bridges before that happens.

oakleaffy · 05/12/2022 21:08

FishnetsNightdressCrisis · 05/12/2022 19:19

Got to wonder about all the therapy he has had...

Must have been hopeless counselling sessions!
One of the best counsellors I know of is very effective at getting people to “ See” themselves and not to be a victim.

arthurfonzerelli · 05/12/2022 21:09

I don't know. I think it's impossible to say. They are celebrities, and very tight lipped, private ones, at that, and so much of it is pure speculation.

For that reason I will be very interested to hear what he says on this Netflix thing, if he speaks plainly. I found the Oprah thing to be quite a lot of fanfare about nothing. They didn't actually say much and generally the criticism was levied at the institution as opposed to his actual family members.

I don't think anybody really knows and unless one of them tells the public, plainly, I don't think we ever will. And obviously I don't ever see William (or Charles) doing that so it all comes down to Harry.

BasiliskStare · 05/12/2022 21:09

@stuntbubbles - not sure if all of that is true & H&M have said half truths .
I'm a bit cross that people are saying any dislike of Meghan is because of her race .

Not one jot on my behalf - I just don't like the way she / they have told falsehoods about the RF apparently to earn money. I 'm a bit cross because I disagree with her I am branded a racist .

But hey ho - they will carry on with their Schtick.

Tipsyturvychocolatemonster · 05/12/2022 21:11

heldinadream · 05/12/2022 19:10

Well you know his vulnerable mother died arguably because his father married her under false pretences, never loved her, had an affair all their married life, and all with the total approval of his family because the firm was more important than dispensable individuals. Then he had to walk behind her coffin on TV. Etc etc. He obviously adored his mother and she him.

What would you feel towards your family in those circs?

Oh give over, he didn’t marry her under false pretences , for goodness sake, they’d met twice when they agreed the marriage. Twice, two arranged meetings with the families present. There is no way on earth Diana thought Charles loved her. Yes I know she lied and said they were in love, manipulated the media and public but factually they had met twice , both times with family, not even dated, when she agreed the marriage. Diana knew exactly what this was. No one thinks it’s love after two meetings. Not even Diana. It was supposed to be her sister, but she said no.

It was an arranged marriage and they both knew it. There were many things wrong with that marriage, many, but marrying her under false pretences was absolutely not one of them.

torquewench · 05/12/2022 21:14

asblindasabat · 05/12/2022 18:48

Just with the Oprah interview, this new Netflix thing and then his book that is coming out soon.

Anyone would think he dislikes his own family. What has actually happened for him to turn on them?

I think what's happened is that it dawned on him that he's no longer the spare (despite what his forthcoming book's called) now that William has generated his own spares and therefore he's realised he has to do something/anything to remain relevant.

Luredbyapomegranate · 05/12/2022 21:19

Well he seems to..

I think he always wanted out, and M was his ticket out. He probably didn’t intend to end up with all these bridges burning, but one thing leads to another..

I think he is very like his mum - lots of emotional intelligence, little intellectual heft, a love of the limelight and a persecution complex.

He had a rough time in some ways of course with the loss of his mum, a family who were also a business, and not being very well prepared for his brother becoming his boss, not to mention living in an era that rewards public emotional incontinence.

But he has isolated himself well and truly, I think it would be almost impossible for him to be accepted back now. For the sake of themselves and everyone else involved I hope the biog and series make them enough money they can settle down and get on with their lines. Not that I care a great deal - but it’s always sad to see a family fall apart.

oakleaffy · 05/12/2022 21:23

thenightsky · 05/12/2022 20:56

But he needs them to. He needs to be seen to be fighting against something. The big hero.

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Indeed
“ Protecting my family “
If he’d have quietly bought a ranch somewhere, in the wilds of Canada, and stopped courting the press at every opportunity, they would have dropped off the radar .
But they seem desperate for attention at every turn.
Being deliberately “ Provoking “ to the RF makes it far more likely they will be potential targets than if they kept their heads down and just got on with quiet rural living.
But one half of the partnership is addicted to fame at any price, it seems.

That makes one much more of a target, and They need to stump up the cash for that themselves.
That Climate change girl Greta Thunberg (?) was all over the news a few years back-

Completely dropped off the radar since.

That is how to play it if you want a peaceful life.