Does Harry dislike his family?

[asblindasabat]

Just with the Oprah interview, this new Netflix thing and then his book that is coming out soon.

Anyone would think he dislikes his own family. What has actually happened for him to turn on them?

I actualy think that's a fairly common assumption

Tight-lipped? Whilst writing a memoir about his frostbitten todger and how he lost his virginity. OK.

I read it as everyone getting their knickers in a twist that a member of the RF is treating this jumped up American, mixed race actress as some kind of 'prize'

Harry obviously feels as if he has won the lottery (if money was at all a consideration) by marrying Megan. It appears to really bother a fair proportion of people.

It's one thing to love your wife. Personally I think it's lovely that he thinks he's won the lottery finding her. It's not OK to defend her behaviour by discrediting others. Nor is it OK to use her as an excuse to discredit others.
Go live your life as exuberantly as you like but don't drag others into your hoopla.

The point being that's its all rather dependent upon whose story/version of events and indeed joverall jusggement that you believe.

It just comes back to your post against the suggestion of him being blind to her faults. I already gave examples where he chose to see fault in others in order to see none her her. He has no balance in his thoughts about her. Lovely for them. Not so lovely for everyone else.

Yes you mentioned the lip gloss incident, I think Kate should have said no if she was uncomfortable sharing lip gloss rather than make convoluted facial expressions in order to passive aggressively show her displeasure.
After all both she and William were quick enough to eschew a hug from Meagn and tell her 'no, ee don't do that here' (paraphrasing)
I've shared lip gloss, mascara etc with other women, some of whom I have known momentarily at social functions. I appreciate to some it may not be the done thing, much like a hug I suppose.

As for the staff complaining about Megan, that also depends upon whom you believe.

I appreciate that some people are intent on painting Megan as some Malign and disrespectful character. Perhaps she didn't treat the RF with they respect that they believe should be afforded to them. Perhaps she just treated them similarly to any other family members of partners whom she has had in the past.

And if that is the case I don't perceive that she was incorrect to do so because they are just people whom, by sheer accident of birth appear to believe that they should be afforded a modicum of deference from those outside of the family and included Megan within that number.

I don't think any of this has much to do with Meghan, honestly. Meghan just does Meghan and doesn't really seem to take anything else into consideration. She presents a curated version of herself to the world which I think is entirely reasonable and what most of us would do. Harry goes along with that presentation but does not give the same courtesy to the rest of the RF.

As for what went wrong within the RF, we don't know because W&K don't give their side. Maybe Meghan was too pushy too quickly abd it made them nervous. Who knows. Whatever, I hold Harry responsible. If Meghan was doing things that were annoying people, no matter how innnocuously she meant it, Harry should have said something to her. That's how society's wheels are oiled. But if Harry is so besotted he can't see fault, then that becomes a problem for all of them.

And, by the way, it isn't Meghan's asking to borrow the lipgloss nor Kate's compliance despite her discomfort that is the problem. It's Harry's reporting of it. He's portrayed his wife to be thoughtless and implied Kate to be ungracious which is unfair on both the women. He's in fact cast aspersions on both of them whilst walking away unscathed himself.
He's an arse.

Why is it always assumed that Megan is at fault?

That she was 'too pushy'
That she 'annoyed people'

Perhaps the RF were 'too staid' or 'expected too much deference' or were 'too cold'

Why is the onus on the 'commoner' to modify their behaviour or else be poorly appraised?

Fwiw I presume that Megan was nervous and was trying to build relationships and compensating with over familiarity.
I also think that the RF were rather cold towards her as they expected her to pay them more respect and act with more deference than perhaps (and certainly to my mind) they were due.

Perhaps Harry sees less fault in his wife than his wider family. Perhaps that is because she did not intend to make anybody uncomfortable, irrespective of whether or not she did. The intention was not there.
Perhaps he cannot say the same for the members of his family.

I do agree that the media has a lot to answer for in influencing women's perception of Megan. And I stipulate women here as it does appear to be women who have the strongest opinions regarding the entire situation. Of course the media is well aware of their target audience.

The media have never posted an unflattering photo of Megan. Even when metaphorically crucifying her wirh words she, she has always been portrayed as beautiful, immaculate, polished.
This wasn't due to a lack of unflattering angles, this was to play in to the envy of beautiful women that we all like to pretend isn't reality but which is more endemic in our society than the flu.

I wasn't saying she was in the wrong. I was just giving an example of what might be a problem. And I said if she was annoying people, and it's clear there was friction there and it's rarely ever just one way, Harry should have helped her.

But honestly, when you say...
Why is the onus on the 'commoner' to modify their behaviour or else be poorly appraised?
...then I just can't be bothered talking to you. I'm not interested in your 'commoner' nonsense. Clearly you have a fixed opinion of the RF and debate isn't going to change it.

I agree that Harry should have intervened, although I belive that he should have e acted as a mediator, advising Megan that his family were not receptive to familiarity and also counselling his family to remove the sticks from their posteriors.

I also imagine that it was a difficult situation for him, irrespective of this he is the common denominator and should have sought to smooth the waters if this was ever a possibility.

I don't believe it to be nonsense that the RF perceive us all to be commoners and very much beneath them.

If you disagree and therefore can't be bothered to converse with me further then I accept this.

I don't as it happens have any opinion on the debate that I am not willing to revise other than that the RF are unreasonable to have expected Megan's deference.

Camilla, Sarah Ferguson, Mark Philips, Tim Lawrence, Sophie Essex, Catherine Middleton, Jack Brooksbank, Edoardo Mozzi, Autumn Philips, Mike Tindall. All commoners. All seem to enjoy being part of the family. None moan about being excluded for not showing deference. Or that they're treated as if they're lesser beings.

When you enter a new family, especially of a different culture in a different country, you can't expect everyone to conform to your way of thinking and behaving. Sometimes you have to wait for other people to be on the same page as you. That's nothing to do with deference and everything to do with sensitivity and manners.

Meghan was coming into a family with hundreds of years of history and behaviour. A family which catapulted her to global fame, untold riches and access to anything a person could want. I think it is reasonable to expect her to read the room and take time to build relationships as she was going out to represent them to the world.

All British people of at least upper middle class heritage. So presumably less likely to be marked as 'outsiders' and also lilely admittedly more naturally deferential to their own heads of state and their family by sheer dint of being brought up in their families of birth.

You can hardly compare Megan to Catherine, who set her sights on marrying William from late adolescence and indeed changed her University place to effect this. Nor Camilla who had carried on a long extra martial affair with KC long before becoming a legitimate member of the RF.

When your allegedly beloved son finds love with a partner from outside your social class/heritage/culture it would be correct etiquette to make allowances for their differences.
Manners are, after all about preventing the discomfort of and catering towards the proclivities of one's guests.
Presumably Megan was the guest in almost, if not all of the social situations in which she found herself.

It is just as simple to call in to question the manner in which the RF dealt with her as a cohesive group as much as the way in which she both received and dealt them as single individual.

I thinknot is myopic to view this as a question as a lack of conformity. It is much more likely to be a decision not to compromise.

The RF expected Megan to 'fall in line' and apparently she didn't, whether through naivete, character, principle or a mixture of the three.

Perhaps she didn't value those things and therefore didn't see fit to modify her character as the reciprocity of the situation was not equitable.

I think the RF , or at least Charles and the Queen did make allowances and tried very hard. It sounds like M got off on the wrong foot from the start with W and K. To be honest, it doesn’t sound like M cared much what any of them thought of her. She didn’t even bother to try and learn about the UK, or the RF.
As for K changing her course to ‘catch’ William, being intent on marrying him from late adolescence, how can you possibly know that? A lot of nasty assumptions there, misogynistic assumptions, based on tabloid articles no doubt. Because how could you possibly know that unless you knew her well personally?

No problem - go your own way and don't be a working royal who wants to 'hit the ground running'/

The irony of your mention of tabloid articles and misogyny is not lost here my friend.

Ok so it’s fine if you are responsible then?

Presumably her willingness to join her husband in Royal duties was initially not entirely marred by the reception she consequently received from his family.

And on balance they both appear to have revised their opinions accordingly.

Well if you believe media speculation regarding one duchess you can't expect me to refrain from mentioning their similar, if more benign treatment of the other.

Your last line is ridiculous.

For clarity, none of is know any of them personally and yest there are literally reams of threads of supposition and conjecture on this board.

Do you only take issue with this when somebody doesn't agree with you? Or should we be lobbying MNHQ to close the subject entirely? In which case, what precisely is your business here?

none of us know again, for absolutely clarity.

I believe what comes out of Meghans own mouth. Kate has never said she purposely pursued William from her teenage years as a calculated campaign. She hasn’t written books about herself either. Or given interviews exposing her thoughts and agenda.

I think many of us would be very interested to hear the details of your conversations with Megan and its possibly quite remiss of you not to have shared the details thus far in to proceedings.

Take a pew. I'm all ears.

Problems in families are common, and problems being accepted into the family are also universally common. It has nothing to do with this family being royal.