Page 2 | Does Harry dislike his family?

DoubleShotEspresso · 05/12/2022 19:40

I suspect he did love his family deeply, maybe still does to a point. But the clear failure of the RF to handle this properly and even permit things to have reached this stage? I would say we are witnessing some pretty reactive conduct here and there'a always a cause for this. I don't actually believe that cause is Meghan , I do believe Harry has been mistreated by the "firm" as it were...
If the RF don't deal with this soon, the damage will be endless, it is awful to watch.

slowquickstep · 05/12/2022 19:41

Mischance · 05/12/2022 19:19

I find it hard to think of any reason why he might like his family - many PPs have pointed out why he might not.

He says that he does not want to be part of the firm any more - he has had enough of it - and who can blame him? Instead of supporting him and helping him, they turn on him. No wonder he does not like them.

And his wife, from a very different culture has struggled to deal with it all - and he will defend her as I hope all husband's would.

The problem is that he is struggling to deal with his anger and the public nature of his venting has turned people against him - but I can understand that he feels the need to defend himself and his family.

When did his family turn on him? Would you be happy to take on the chin if your sibling announced to the world how bloody awful you were, Would you happy for your siblings or Sons wife lied?

Dorisbonson · 05/12/2022 19:41

asblindasabat · 05/12/2022 18:48

Just with the Oprah interview, this new Netflix thing and then his book that is coming out soon.

Anyone would think he dislikes his own family. What has actually happened for him to turn on them?

His wife is manipulative and isolated him. He isn't near or close to any of his friends anymore she has isolated him from family and his version of reality is the one painted by her.

At some point he may wake up and realise what's happened and deeply regret it.

He was a laddish 19 year dim art student who liked a joint and mixing with his laddish army and horsey pals. Now he is a woke anti royalist freedom fighter trying to bring down the monarchy from his California mansion via his documentary series. Bonkers!

lightisnotwhite · 05/12/2022 19:41

I don’t actually think it’s Meghans fault. You can’t tell me his family wouldn’t have talked to him about whether an American actress would be able to hack life as a royal.
And of course they’ve been proved right. Harry has no choice but to back his decision because he chose her and it’s on him, not her.

DuchessDandelion · 05/12/2022 19:43

Pickawindow · 05/12/2022 19:24

As someone whose mum died when I was 13 and dad when I was 19, I have had literally NOONE ever ask me how I felt about it or ask me to tell my story or anything like it.

As much as Harry does, I believe, love his family of origin, I think somehow in his relationship with Meghan he tapped into that anger at the depths of his pain never really being acknowledged. His absolute paranoia about Meghan’s safety is very much based in reality as was recently disclosed by a senior security leader, she was getting creditable death threats constantly. I think his love for her and the pressure of his past trauma + the pressure of his role has meant he has gone to a place where he could just burn the whole thing down (whether he quite understands that would be the result or not).

Of course William experienced the same loss but it seems the emotional support he got from Catherine and her extended family has given him a way to work through and diffuse a lot of his own pain and anger.

Therapy is a not a magic cure all. People don’t want to think horrible experiences that all humans face can’t be dealt as if they are normal and having a normal reaction to trauma (fear, pain, depression, anger, lack of purpose and motivation). If you have people around you that reassure you it’s terrible but part of being human and you are not a weirdo I think people can work through it better.

It seems Harry just didn’t have that. It seems a lot was swept under the carpet and he was expected to carry on when he was actually pretty lost and lonely. I think he was vulnerable and his vulnerability has gone nuclear. To me he has the classic rage of the bereaved child that never had resolution.

The most intelligent post I've ever read about the situation.

I am so very sorry you were orphaned at such a young age. I can't imagine how traumatic that was for you. Hope you've found some peace and have a loving family unit around you

Purplemagnolias · 05/12/2022 19:43

but I can understand that he feels the need to defend himself and his family.

But why in public?

Theunamedcat · 05/12/2022 19:44

Defend himself from what? No-one is attacking HIM

PeaceJoySleep · 05/12/2022 19:46

FishnetsNightdressCrisis · 05/12/2022 19:19

Got to wonder about all the therapy he has had...

I know. At around about the same time H&M did the OPRAH interview my therapist advised me not to send the letter I'd written to my parents. They were giving me the silent treatment to punish me for trying to give them a bit of feedback. My therapist advised me not to because she said if you send it, you'll have to deal with the fallout from the letter which will distract you from healing the original wound.

So, I was surprised that Harry who has suppposedly had a lot of therapy went on Oprah.

clarrylove · 05/12/2022 19:49

It's such a shame he's taken this route. He could've done great things. With Invictus, he had a world platform. He looked so happy and passionate about it all and really carved out a role for himself. Now he's been sidelined and isolated in the US, just navel gazing and feeling sorry for himself and, out of spite, seems determined to sabotage the RF.

caringcarer · 05/12/2022 19:50

Charles has said he wanted Harry and Meghan on his slimmed down version of monarchy and not Edward and Sophie. H&M wanted to get rich so left and Charles retained the services of Edward and Sophie. H&M clearly hate the monarchy and use every opportunity to try to test them down. I don't think Harry can get over being lower in succession than William and Meghan hates being lower in seniority than Kate.

lightisnotwhite · 05/12/2022 19:52

Theunamedcat · 05/12/2022 19:44

Defend himself from what? No-one is attacking HIM

Except maybe he knows his family are saying “told you so” (to themselves obviously).

He strikes me as someone trying too hard - attack is the best form of defence. He’d have been better off withdrawing from Royal duties and titles before marrying Meghan.

Diverseopinions · 05/12/2022 19:54

cantba · 05/12/2022 19:38

@lightisnotwhite sorry but that is rubbish. Diana was 19, barely an adult from a dysfunctional family herself. She likely had no idea at all what she was letting herself in for regardless of her aristocratic background. The nature of the press changed enormously in the 80's and 90's and became much more salacious. Television became more "fly on the wall" which turned the royals into celebrities in a way that hadn't happened before.

Diana's elder sister dated Charles and was thought of as a possible bride. She would have known what the prospect entailed and what her sister had or hadn't wanted to do it.

Thinkbiglittleone · 05/12/2022 19:55

I think he feels let down and hurt by an institution he doesn't trust anymore.

I can 100% understand why he would be struggling. Knowing how his mum was treated and then seeing his own wife be disrespected, I would be scared and furious.

People ask why he is doing this in public, he has known nothing else he was walked behind his mums coffin in front of millions of people, his fathers affair revealed publicly, his mums life open in public, his life had been lived out in the public eye, why would this be different when he's believing he is doing it to get his side across, not being allowed to be talked about without a response.

Georgeskitchen · 05/12/2022 19:57

I think he is mentally unwell and making poor decisions
I think his mother was as well, along with the final poor decision that sadly took her life x

NimrodNimroy · 05/12/2022 19:57

I completely agree with the earlier comment when generally they realise that refuting a story will add credence to other stories like any story about Harry and Meghan that they don't sue about now, I believe whereas I don't for Will and Kate.

I didn't believe for a moment the story that PH wanted to "teach the Brits a lesson' but when he released a statement denying it, but said nothing about the more hurtful (in my opinion) story about harassing his dying grandmother for money it made me wonder if it was true.

toomuchlaundry · 05/12/2022 20:00

He, William and Kate seemed to get on really well in the early days, didn’t seem so bitter and acrimonious then. Seemed to enjoy being part of Royalty. Plenty of photos like these

crumpet · 05/12/2022 20:00

I think he thought that the “half in half out” model was as simple as telling the RF. that that was what he wanted. Their refusal, and his knee jerk reaction means he’s backed himself into a corner. And instead of reflecting on how he could have managed things differently and working through some form of solution he’s gone too far and is stuck - and consequently feeling very angry.

lightisnotwhite · 05/12/2022 20:04

@cantba I take your point but the Royals have always had to deal with scrutiny. Even the Queens coronation was a TV first. That’s why they have strict “never complain, never explain” and why they are as dull as dishwater in public.
She wouldn’t have dated Charles without knowing it was going to be a job as much as a relationship.

LadyHarmby · 05/12/2022 20:04

I think his issue is with the press to be honest. With his family, it’s more frustration that they just shrugged their shoulders and said well, we have to put up with it.

heartchakra · 05/12/2022 20:06

His income depends on massive dirt dumps. End of. He's thrown his family under the bus for money. Obviously it also allows a very destructive form of outlet for him. I think Meghan has and continues to feed off this internal rage, throwing oil on the flames to continue the damage and subsequent interest and/or income. He's the idiot here. His family clearly love him. It's all very sad and unnecessary.

boboshmobo · 05/12/2022 20:07

Surely they will disown him after the Netflix thing ?

He will embarrass the whole family !!

I just don't get him tbh , he obviously thinks Diana was bumped off and thought they would do that to Meghan

MarshaMelrose · 05/12/2022 20:07

Therapy is a not a magic cure all. People don’t want to think horrible experiences that all humans face can’t be dealt as if they are normal and having a normal reaction to trauma (fear, pain, depression, anger, lack of purpose and motivation). If you have people around you that reassure you it’s terrible but part of being human and you are not a weirdo I think people can work through it better.
It seems Harry just didn’t have that. It seems a lot was swept under the carpet and he was expected to carry on when he was actually pretty lost and lonely.

Harry had therapy after Diana's death and then again as an adult when it was clear he wasn't coping. At the end of the day if the person in therapy isn't committed to the work required to change their thought processes and behaviour, it's never going to work. It doesn't matter how supportive the family is. Harry has said that he didn't take it seriously. Then when he got into his 30s, it's unclear whether his behaviour was a concern through substance abuse, anger issues or both, but Wiliam told him he couldn't carry on behaving like he was and offered to get him help. It was only when Meghan told him to sort himself out that he did.
I really don't see how his family can be held responsible for this. He was very close to William and saw him regularly. He headed a mental health charity where he could have accessed help but didn't. Even when his wife said she was suicidal, he was embarrassed. I dont see why this is blamed on his family because some things you have to be adult to sort out yourself. And if you think you're old enough to declare you want to kill people, then you're old enough to seek help, listen to your therapist and work on your problems.

Mrsorganmorgan · 05/12/2022 20:08

Pickawindow - my parents died when I was that age, too.

userxx · 05/12/2022 20:10

ajandjjmum · 05/12/2022 19:11

Harry used to really love his family, especially his brother, SIL and their children. Something changed, and now he hates them all.

Hmmmm. Strange isn't it.

SD1978 · 05/12/2022 20:10

The therapy certainly seems to have exacerbated his distaste, I'd always thought therapy was supposed to help you, as a person, 'heal'- but instead he seems to want to publicly destroy something that he is no longer a part of, as public ally, and as many times as he can. Multiple woe is me interviews and books. Sorry, but seriously, give up and move on. They have. You've gone LC/ non contact with them, and instead of moving on you've got to repeatedly tell everyone, for money, all the actual and perceived slights you've felt. I find the whole thing tawdry and sad. He used to look like someone who was happy. Maybe that was all a show, but now, he looks bloody miserable pretty much all the time