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Does Harry dislike his family?

380 replies

asblindasabat · 05/12/2022 18:48

Just with the Oprah interview, this new Netflix thing and then his book that is coming out soon.

Anyone would think he dislikes his own family. What has actually happened for him to turn on them?

OP posts:
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5
AreOttersJustWetCats · 14/12/2022 16:35

It's well known that the Royal Family do deals with the press around what they can/can't publish, in exchange for ongoing cooperation, sharing of photos etc.. Diana lost that protection when she left the family, but kept up her public facing charitable work etc. Pippa is of little interest to the press because she doesn't do any kind of work in the public eye.

Diverseopinions · 14/12/2022 18:08

If Pippa had wanted to get noticed...she could have done. Before her own marriage, she could have been cited as an eligible bachelorette and relation of the Royals.

Geths · 14/12/2022 18:43

Pippa quite often has the odd paps on her walks in London but the pictures aren’t printed by British MSM usually - I have seen them taking pics of her in Battersea Park while she’s on her own with a pram and a dog. The pics sometimes end up on Instagram. Just because they don’t appear in the DM doesn’t mean she doesn’t have men following her with cameras.

RosettaStormer · 14/12/2022 18:45

I think the idea was to have the boys close so they could see the family at weekends. Easy to travel and close at hand. Charles hated Gordonstoun. He probably never wanted to set foot in it again.

Mountbatten was a strange man. He had odd ideas about sex and behaviour generally. I think the main criteria for him was that Diana was a virgin and came from a good family. Also young and docile so wouldn’t make any trouble. Or so he thought.

StartupRepair · 14/12/2022 20:09

Mountbatten had died before Charles and Diana got together. He wanted Charles to marry a Mountbatten granddaughter.

BadgerB · 14/12/2022 20:22

user1477391263
I always marvel at the RF choosing a dimwit like Diana (a sweet soul who failed every academic subject she ever studied) as their ideal brood mare for the Windsor dynasty.
Apparently Philip said "Thank God for someone who'll bring some "tall" genes into this family" Well, she did that...

Capri3 · 14/12/2022 20:49

Diverseopinions · 14/12/2022 08:11

Do Prince William and his little fully go on those kind of skiing trips where there are members of the public in white close proximity around you and the press can get close up?

Seeing the Harry and Meghan Netflix programme and the footage of William and Harry and their mum and with Little Eugenie and Beatrice, I was thinking,:Did that have to happen?'. Could they have had some skiing more privately?

The Royal Family have large private estates for their use. I'm not aware of Catherine being photographed walking in the grounds of Anmer Hall, or Prince Charles at his house on the Balmoral Estate. Is it, and was it ever, sensible to mix the kids in with the general high profile, albeit, no doubt, for those who can afford it, slopes? I'm not sure that I really think that Diana always had the best idea about being where the boys could be photographed.

Princess Margaret had the use of a private Carribbean island. There probably are some ski slopes which might even be privately owned or belonging to a club.

In retrospect, maybe Gordonstoun, more remote, would have been preferable to Eton for Harry and William. Harry would certainly have been able to run freely, in the wonderful Scottish countryside nearby and build friendships and skills, out of the public eyes. In the footage shot at Eton, in the Harry and Meghan docusie, the boys can open their bedroom windows and see the press photographers there. That wouldn't have happened at some schools in the deeper countryside. Harry could have enjoyed country living, a bit like he enjoyed it in Lesotho.

IIRC the Royal Rota was started after Princess Diana’s death, so the awful ski footage with William, Harry, Beatrice and Eugenie in front of a whole wall of press photographers stopped after that. It’s one of the reasons that KM photographs her own children for press releases, and that there’s now only a couple of photographers present for the children’s first day of the new school year.

DatasCat · 14/01/2023 16:21

cantba · 05/12/2022 19:38

@lightisnotwhite sorry but that is rubbish. Diana was 19, barely an adult from a dysfunctional family herself. She likely had no idea at all what she was letting herself in for regardless of her aristocratic background. The nature of the press changed enormously in the 80's and 90's and became much more salacious. Television became more "fly on the wall" which turned the royals into celebrities in a way that hadn't happened before.

I’ve alluded to this in another thread, but the young Diana reminds me very much of Linda Radlett in Nancy Mitford’s novel The Pursuit of Love. The aristocratic young girls in these novels were sheltered and distinctly undereducated; far from knowing what they were getting into, it was considered best to keep them as ignorant as possible so that they wouldn’t question their lives. Fiction, but grounded in real experience.

derxa · 14/01/2023 16:40

I certainly had a recalibration when I had my children as did most of the people I know, I thought I was a much better parent than my parents at age 30. Now at 63 I realise I was totally wrong. RIP Mum and Dad

Blip · 14/01/2023 17:29

I think Harry thinks he is more enlightened than his family and that they need to be guided by him.

It's a superiority complex.

MonsoonMadness · 14/01/2023 17:49

I wonder how he goes down with fellow Slebs in LA.
All that grandiose posturing and self absorption will be swallowed up with the egos there.

Ohgodthepain · 14/01/2023 18:41

And though William and I have talked about it once or twice, and he has made it very clear to me that his kids are not my responsibility, I still feel a responsibility knowing that out of those three children, at least one will end up like me, the spare

I wonder how long ago these conversations took place ?

Leemoe · 14/01/2023 20:34

Pickawindow · 05/12/2022 19:24

As someone whose mum died when I was 13 and dad when I was 19, I have had literally NOONE ever ask me how I felt about it or ask me to tell my story or anything like it.

As much as Harry does, I believe, love his family of origin, I think somehow in his relationship with Meghan he tapped into that anger at the depths of his pain never really being acknowledged. His absolute paranoia about Meghan’s safety is very much based in reality as was recently disclosed by a senior security leader, she was getting creditable death threats constantly. I think his love for her and the pressure of his past trauma + the pressure of his role has meant he has gone to a place where he could just burn the whole thing down (whether he quite understands that would be the result or not).

Of course William experienced the same loss but it seems the emotional support he got from Catherine and her extended family has given him a way to work through and diffuse a lot of his own pain and anger.

Therapy is a not a magic cure all. People don’t want to think horrible experiences that all humans face can’t be dealt as if they are normal and having a normal reaction to trauma (fear, pain, depression, anger, lack of purpose and motivation). If you have people around you that reassure you it’s terrible but part of being human and you are not a weirdo I think people can work through it better.

It seems Harry just didn’t have that. It seems a lot was swept under the carpet and he was expected to carry on when he was actually pretty lost and lonely. I think he was vulnerable and his vulnerability has gone nuclear. To me he has the classic rage of the bereaved child that never had resolution.

Yes, exactly this.

Leemoe · 14/01/2023 20:35

Blip · 14/01/2023 17:29

I think Harry thinks he is more enlightened than his family and that they need to be guided by him.

It's a superiority complex.

If by more enlightened you mean more human then yes.

And who could blame him?

Leemoe · 14/01/2023 20:37

RosettaStormer · 14/12/2022 18:45

I think the idea was to have the boys close so they could see the family at weekends. Easy to travel and close at hand. Charles hated Gordonstoun. He probably never wanted to set foot in it again.

Mountbatten was a strange man. He had odd ideas about sex and behaviour generally. I think the main criteria for him was that Diana was a virgin and came from a good family. Also young and docile so wouldn’t make any trouble. Or so he thought.

Is this Mountbatten who regularly raped 7-8 year old boys and then 'discarded' of them?

Can't see why Harry would ever want to distance himself from such a family dynasty

Leemoe · 14/01/2023 20:40

I don't think for one second that Harry used the term that his family had 'got in to bed with the devil' wholly inadvisedly.

He knows exactly what he is doing and/or saying.

PrincessConstance · 15/01/2023 09:45

One of the comments that really stood out from Harry's interview was he thought William-Katie-Meghan and himself were going to be this awesome foursome.
When that didn't happen he took that as the ultimate rejection. What he doesn't understand is, William and Kate had different ideas. This goes on between brothers-sisters and in-laws in every family.
He must channel this disappointment in a better manner.

limoncello23 · 15/01/2023 12:22

Diverseopinions · 14/12/2022 08:11

Do Prince William and his little fully go on those kind of skiing trips where there are members of the public in white close proximity around you and the press can get close up?

Seeing the Harry and Meghan Netflix programme and the footage of William and Harry and their mum and with Little Eugenie and Beatrice, I was thinking,:Did that have to happen?'. Could they have had some skiing more privately?

The Royal Family have large private estates for their use. I'm not aware of Catherine being photographed walking in the grounds of Anmer Hall, or Prince Charles at his house on the Balmoral Estate. Is it, and was it ever, sensible to mix the kids in with the general high profile, albeit, no doubt, for those who can afford it, slopes? I'm not sure that I really think that Diana always had the best idea about being where the boys could be photographed.

Princess Margaret had the use of a private Carribbean island. There probably are some ski slopes which might even be privately owned or belonging to a club.

In retrospect, maybe Gordonstoun, more remote, would have been preferable to Eton for Harry and William. Harry would certainly have been able to run freely, in the wonderful Scottish countryside nearby and build friendships and skills, out of the public eyes. In the footage shot at Eton, in the Harry and Meghan docusie, the boys can open their bedroom windows and see the press photographers there. That wouldn't have happened at some schools in the deeper countryside. Harry could have enjoyed country living, a bit like he enjoyed it in Lesotho.

Royals still get photographed going skiing. William and Kate were in Courcheval in France last year and were snapped watching George in ski school. The Dutch royal family go to Lech in Austria. The Danish crown prince and his family go to Verbier in Switzerland. There's photos of all of them from most years.

I don't think there's really any such thing as a completely private ski resort in the alps if you want access to really good skiing.

DoubleShotEspresso · 15/01/2023 13:16

I don't think he dislikes his family, it was clear in the interview I saw he holds them all very dearly, though is enraged understandably at the ways he and his wife have been mistreated and wilfully misrepresented. Add to this the security that Harry believes is a vital requirement since birth and the anger is further fuelled.
How this mess ever gets resolved is anyone's guess...

Diverseopinions · 15/01/2023 14:21

DoubleShotEspresso · 15/01/2023 13:16

I don't think he dislikes his family, it was clear in the interview I saw he holds them all very dearly, though is enraged understandably at the ways he and his wife have been mistreated and wilfully misrepresented. Add to this the security that Harry believes is a vital requirement since birth and the anger is further fuelled.
How this mess ever gets resolved is anyone's guess...

I realise how diplomatic was the Queen. She said Harry was much-loved as a family member, but ruled out his dabblings in official Royal duties, pick and mix.

I don't think it is right to have an official take on it all. Just ignore his comments, I'd say. The Coronation is constitutional, rather than private, so don't invite him. If he has compromised his own safety by breaching confidentiality in the military, he shouldn't really impact the rest of the family and those who will be working at the Coronation event.

He can do some private chatting with those cousins and relatives who he gets on with and they with him.

JoyPeaceHealth · 15/01/2023 15:05

Family therapy is a good idea but I suspect there is usually one side that has more to fear than the other from direct honest dialogue. To begin with that might have been Charles and William but now I think it's switched to being H&M
Initially Harry had some points he wanted to make and they just. would. not. hear. him.

But one of the rules of a dysfunctional family is that no one individual can have a 'self' greater than the super self and nowhere would that be more true than the RF

diddl · 15/01/2023 17:47

Initially Harry had some points he wanted to make and they just. would. not. hear. him.

It's not always not hearing though-could be not agreeing!

Even though he has said what he wanted to-will it change anything-especially now he has left & is no longer dealing with the very things that he was making his points about.

MonsoonMadness · 15/01/2023 17:54

PrincessConstance · 15/01/2023 09:45

One of the comments that really stood out from Harry's interview was he thought William-Katie-Meghan and himself were going to be this awesome foursome.
When that didn't happen he took that as the ultimate rejection. What he doesn't understand is, William and Kate had different ideas. This goes on between brothers-sisters and in-laws in every family.
He must channel this disappointment in a better manner.

Yes I think that’s the crux of it. He was longing to be brought into the fold when he met his own wife. He imagined them all doing things together and getting on like a house on fire. Because he thought M was absolutely marvellous, he thought everyone else would think so too. He treated her like a trophy. ‘Look what I got!’. I think he’s always felt inferior to W not just because W is the heir. He was looking and still is, for approval. Both from his father and brother. When W and K didn’t like Meghan he just couldn’t accept it. He decided it must be racism, or the media which was responsible, not just the fact that M wasn’t their cup of tea at all. He became angry and vengeful when his trophy wasn’t appreciated , and he didn’t get the credit for finding her. It’s as simple as that I think. His whole self worth is bound up in her now. He doesn’t have any other identity.

JoyPeaceHealth · 15/01/2023 18:12

Yeh, I take the point that even if he'd been heard, the reaction could well have been, no, it can't be like that. Or, no, your perception is wrong in our opinion.

PrincessConstance · 15/01/2023 19:42

MonsoonMadness · 15/01/2023 17:54

Yes I think that’s the crux of it. He was longing to be brought into the fold when he met his own wife. He imagined them all doing things together and getting on like a house on fire. Because he thought M was absolutely marvellous, he thought everyone else would think so too. He treated her like a trophy. ‘Look what I got!’. I think he’s always felt inferior to W not just because W is the heir. He was looking and still is, for approval. Both from his father and brother. When W and K didn’t like Meghan he just couldn’t accept it. He decided it must be racism, or the media which was responsible, not just the fact that M wasn’t their cup of tea at all. He became angry and vengeful when his trophy wasn’t appreciated , and he didn’t get the credit for finding her. It’s as simple as that I think. His whole self worth is bound up in her now. He doesn’t have any other identity.

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Great post.