Harry and Meghan -- Why I dislike them BOTH

[PipinwasAuntieMabelsdog]

I keep seeing threads that say everyone who dislikes the Sussexs is based on some form of racism and I wanted to put my view across. I will set the parameters of my points:

1. Meghan absolutely did receive racist coverage from sections of the British media.

1. I believe that there were threats to their safety by far right loons.
2. I believe they were both unhappy as working members of the RF

However...

I still find them both very disingenuous. They highlight and speak up against the racism of others, whilst failing to address Harry's previous and documented racist behaviour. As a Jew I cannot understand how Meghan can just remain silent about her husbands former mistakes. This makes her seem untrustworthy to me and seems like she will put up with anything for money and cache, whilst arguing (rightly) that racism is totally unacceptable. He keeps saying others need to learn and he is right, but he should acknowledge that he too needed to learn, acknowledge the support needed to help others learn and offer that support to others (including his own family, if needed).

Their attitude towards the public also seems 'off' and ungrateful to me and they seem to collocate the press and the public as the same thing. There is a lot of footage of the public support for them before, during and after their wedding. Yet, apparently, they did not want the big public wedding and the 'UK' was racist towards them. Harry particularly understands the 'deal' between the monarchy and the public and ought to have explained this to Meghan, the comments re the wedding on Oprah came across as quite spiteful and tone deaf. Almost like, 'we suffered through the big wedding for the plebs.' Ditto all the strange behaviour around Archie's birth. They could have followed the Tindall's approach if they wanted to avoid press intrusion.

During financial pressures around the world they are still complaining and not acknowledging their wealth and privilege, whilst claiming to give voice to the needs of those living in poverty and suffering. The Africa interview was a prime example for both of them. It just all comes together to make them feel untrustworthy to me, and makes me dislike them. I do not wish them any ill, but I wish they would acknowledge their fortune and live private, useful lives.

I admire people who speak out - with the truth
Yes I admire truth tellers and people who dare to be themselves. It's not always easy to be so open and honest.

I read Spare last week and cam away from it thinking Harry has serious mental health problems. And is so deluded and paranoid that everyone is out to get him that he just can’t see it. I got the impression (and I admit I could be wrong) that he is genuinely unconsciously rewriting his childhood and how horrible everyone was to him. I think he genuinely believes this version of events.

He talks about how Willy was horrible to him throughout his entire childhood and they never got on…..bizarre all the media footage of him seemingly very happy with Will and Kate as young adults. But I accept maybe it was all a show and behind closed doors was different.

He contradicts himself regarding Charles, one minute he’s moaning about never been hugged, never been show affection, treated like the spare all the time….then he tells how Charles used to put little notes under his pillow telling him how proud he was of him, etc. ok, so maybe Harry woukd have preferred more physical affection but he seems determined to see the worst in everyone/everything. My parents never once told me they loved me or hugged me, I never got any notes……but I’m sure (my dad anyway) loved me. He would be better off accepting that his dad was of a generation and upbringing where emotions were repressed. Yes Harry can be different to his kids but it seems harsh to blame his dad. He was vile about Camilla and also threw Camilla’s son under the bus in his book.

he is one seriously unhappy person, bringing up every slight such as not having such a good bedroom as William at Balmoral. Hello, you’re a fucking Prince in a castle. Boo hoo that William has a better view!

anyway I hope he and Meghan are happy together. I hope he doesn’t regret blowing his relationship with his brother and dad up. I wish he’d stop complaining and try to have a more positive outlook. I’m amazed with all the therapy he’s had that someone hasn’t being more successful getting him to think like that.

I agree completely.

Those who speak out need to be willing to give up their unearned privileges from being part of the system.

Otherwise it looks as if they are quite happy with the system when it benefits them, and only blow the whistle when someone else gets more.

@Inkanta

We clearly feel differently about how honest they are, but that’s okay

This

When you are rich and can choose your therapist (rather than on the NHS! if you can even get a therapist on the NHS) then you can choose one that doesn't challenge you. In the end it doesn't help, because they don't challenge you. But you can be endlessly indulged in having been hard done by, and never need to do the hard, painful work of building a better future for yourself and understanding the difficulties others were coping with. You can be an eternal, indulged victim.

It's quite sad. There's a lot he could do for others that would provide meaning for his life, and would benefit those less privileged.

I look forward to the day Harry publicly criticises his uncle Andrew! 😂

He won't. They York family are the only ones showing him any support - I read that it was because Andrew understands what it's like to be slated in the press.

I look forward to the day his sister or one of his two brothers publicly criticises their brother!

Why it should be down to a nephew, god alone knows. Maybe William should, being heir to the throne and the taxpayer still funding his uncle?

Note to H&M supporters; When things are not going your way - throw in Andrew to deflect.

(But I'm pretty sure he's not tax-payer supported now)

@YetAnotherBeckyMumsnet

I think it's time for @MNHQ to rethink these anti-Meghan and Harry threads.

If a poster starts a "positive" thread, it is flooded within minutes, with poisonous outpourings.

If a poster starts a 'negative" thread, any "positive" posters are hounded, mass-reported, troll hunted, and accused of all sorts.

Mumsnet has to decide whether it wants to be yet another corner of the internet that exists to spew hate on Meghan Markle. Is @MNHQ happy to see these threads to morph into a version of the SaintMeghanMarkle Reddit site? Because it is pretty clear a lot of posters are getting their talking points and memes from there and bringing them here.

If this is the way that @MNHQ wants to see these Royal threads go, then please give those of us who are not happy with this direction of travel the opportunity of our own space to post without being drowned in poison, and without being troll hunted, and, when we still refuse to give in the bullying, without people seeking to derail entire threads.

How is it possible, for instance, that I get "reported" for challenging a, on its face, untruthful and racist statement about Doria, but the poster making it is allowed to change names within the same thread, and to tell me she is ignoring me, while being on a thread I started, and then corral others into troll hunting me on a thread I started?

It is really time to rethink these threads. And please provide those of us not into the poisonous bashing with an opportunity for more sane discussions.

Thank you very much.

Well, that's escalated!

@MrsMaxDeWinter obviously not interfering in your relationship with MNHQ, but you've put this request on the thread rather than by email to HQ, so I'm assuming you are open to comment.

I don't know anything about your posts (I haven't actually read this whole thread), or deletions (I've just seen some upthread, which is quite surprising to me) or reports, and I've never been on Reddit. So, no comment on those parts of your post.

For the rest, are you basically asking MN for a 'safe space' on the Royal Family board in which to fangirl over Meghan Markle without debate or opposition? I used to dip in and out of the royal women's fasion on the Style and Beauty board (until I realized they all basically wear the same thing in different colors). Is that the type of "sane discussion" you'd like to see on MN wrt Meghan Markle?

Agree MrsMaxDeWinter. Even the title of this thread is below the belt by most people's standards. Not good.

Thought it appropriate to post this again (hope poster doesn’t mind).

😂exactly! those of us commenting unfavourably about our impressions of Harry and Meghan are 'gossiping'. Those disagreeing with us are doing it as a socially responsible, self-denying duty to 'push back' against 'bullying' 😂when really they are no different to anyone else who posts!

This narrative that is being spun is really getting tedious. Posters are happy to chat shit and gossip about other members of the RF (eg PA is a paedophile) but no one is permitted to chat shit and gossip about Meghan and Harry - that sounds like controlling the narrative and policing a board which is not in your remit to do so. If you really find chatting shit and gossiping offensive to you can hide the thread (and maybe revisit one or two RF posts made yourselves). It’s telling who has had the deletions on this particular thread.

Only Charles funds Andrew now. No taxes involved.

Why should anyone criticise Andrew now? He's lost everything including his dignity. It's old news. Until he's stupid enough to give another interview or write a book, that is.

Totally agree, every thread that dares criticise H&M and their appalling behaviour, has Andrew thrown in to deflect. Same old same old.

Well said @StormzyinaTCup

Posters saying anyone daring to criticise H&M are racist, misogynist, anti MH, haters (ffs), vile, poisonous, bullying and so on. It's bloody ridiculous. I dislike them both (as I e said before) for being proven liars, hypocrites and making money off their family's misery.

Yes, when the discussion doesn't go their way everyone are haterz, racist etc 😂it's the same few posters each time who take on themselves the public duty of 'defending' poor Harry and Meghan that the rest of us are 'gossiping' about 😂

And also have never been on Reddit. Have been on Twitter a few times, never a regular. Not a Daily Mail reader (or other tabloids) - a Guardian reader and they are hardly pro-RF!

Not sure what other accusations might get thrown my way to undermine anything I say...

@MrsMaxDeWinter i think you can hide topics if it upsets you that people don’t like Meghan and Harry’s behaviour. I am not sure requesting a site just so you can post nice things about them is feasible but that’s up to mnhq. As there are only a handful of you who wish this sort of thing, maybe you could private message each other nice stuff about them?

I have never been on Twitter, Reddit or Tattle. I cannot even access the DM because of the settings. I would expect the balance of opinions to mirror those of broader society. Therefore, it is hardly surprising that posters can be critical of Harry and Meghan. Nobody should set about trying to control the narrative, orchestrate or participate in pile-ons to suppress opinions which they find to be disagreeable. The Fates will decide whether they are a success or a flop in their new ventures but closing down discussions on a mums' website is not really going to influence that outcome.

From what I can see the feelings on here are no different to all other social media sites, it’s not unique.

I am not sure what the posters are trying to do though, I’m sure irs not silencing people as they don’t like the opinions, but I do think the facility to only say nice stuff exists and can be messaged to one another.

Well they only have themselves to blame for their abysmal opinion ratings here and in the USA Can it get better. Yes. If they shut up and stop making money from causing their families misery.

Most of us have mixed opinions. We like some things about each of them individually and as a couple. By the time people have kids, they should hopefully know their own mind, they aren't looking for internet strangers to come along and bully them into thinking differently so it is all very pointless. It's the same few people dominating in every discussion which suggests that the majority of site users couldn't care less about the royals and don't want to know either way.

@MrsMaxDeWinter There are various sites where you can create your own discussion board and control access/get rid of people who disagree with you. proboards.com is one, I am sure there are others.